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Topic: It still hurts:
Astrea09's photo
Thu 01/15/15 03:53 AM
Pain doesn't go away, we just get used to it...

karmalite's photo
Thu 01/15/15 04:05 AM
Feel for you ...

My favourite quote from this year is from Battle of the Five Armies where she asks "Why does it hurt So MUCH ..." "Because it was real ..."

You had some thing real and you should treasure those memories ... flowerforyou

HolyNiceMan's photo
Thu 01/15/15 04:09 AM

Pain doesn't go away, we just get used to it...


Yep I completely understand Astera09, I have the same pain that just doesn't go away no matter how I try or what I do. :(

Astrea09's photo
Thu 01/15/15 04:31 AM
And just when you thought you're over it,the past keep coming back... grrr..

theseacoast's photo
Thu 01/15/15 04:39 AM


Pain doesn't go away, we just get used to it...


Yep I completely understand Astera09, I have the same pain that just doesn't go away no matter how I try or what I do. :(


(((Astrea))) (((HolyNiceMan)))
sometimes it really takes time. Once I needed almost 4 years to be able to be with someone else. Take your time. Cherish yourselves. And be grateful you got a chance to feel something amazing - even if it ended for any reason.

Warm hugs for you both. Wish you to find love that will bring happiness and heal all the scars flowerforyou

Astrea09's photo
Thu 01/15/15 04:46 AM



Pain doesn't go away, we just get used to it...


Yep I completely understand Astera09, I have the same pain that just doesn't go away no matter how I try or what I do. :(


(((Astrea))) (((HolyNiceMan)))
sometimes it really takes time. Once I needed almost 4 years to be able to be with someone else. Take your time. Cherish yourselves. And be grateful you got a chance to feel something amazing - even if it ended for any reason.

Warm hugs for you both. Wish you to find love that will bring happiness and heal all the scars flowerforyou



That is so sweet of you.. Thank you theseacoast...flowerforyou :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:

Dodo_David's photo
Thu 01/15/15 04:48 AM

Pain doesn't go away, we just get used to it...

... especially when your spouse dies, like mine did 4 1/2 years ago.

Astrea09's photo
Thu 01/15/15 04:55 AM


Pain doesn't go away, we just get used to it...

... especially when your spouse dies, like mine did 4 1/2 years ago.



Sorry for your loss. I know how it feels... Hugs hugs hugs

theseacoast's photo
Thu 01/15/15 05:00 AM
Edited by theseacoast on Thu 01/15/15 05:01 AM


Pain doesn't go away, we just get used to it...

... especially when your spouse dies, like mine did 4 1/2 years ago.



(((Dodo))) flowers flowers flowers :heart: hugs

jagered72's photo
Fri 01/16/15 12:28 AM
Pain is just an emotion, you have to find a way to cope with it.
Ex. I was stopped dead in my tracks by someone that suddenly realized they did not want to be in a relationship?!? I had to accept her honesty in telling me, but still do not understand why. It was like we were in a plane roaring down the runway about to take off and then BAM! brakes on and we stopped on a dime - no idea how she flicked a switch and turned everything off, but I couldn't hate her for it. Mainly because I still cared for her. But for me to move past the heartache I had to fake some hate inside of me - I had to find a way to stop thinking of her and stop wanting to contact her, that worked for me.
I would probably still get chills if she ever decided to drop me a text but I don't hold my breath any more. It's only took me about a week to move past it that way. Don't get me wrong, I still think about her because nothing was ever negative but the technique I used helped me to get over her.

Hope you find your own technique!
ciao

Totage's photo
Fri 01/16/15 12:50 AM

Pain doesn't go away, we just get used to it...


Some wounds never heal, but we find a way to move forward. For example, I will never get over the death of my unborn children, even though Ive never seen them, I still mourn over them. I see children around the age my children would be, it makes me think about how things should have gone. I do cherish my neices and nephews even more now than I did before. The woman I was with, I will forever miss as well, not only because she would have been the mother of my children, but because she was the last woman I loved, and I had the deepest and purest love for her. I still mourn the loss of her as well, and I dont think I will ever stop mourning, but I'm moving forward in my life and will continue.

I guess the trick is not to fight the pain, but not to let it control you either. You have to find the strength to pish through it, even when you don't have the strength.

elle_rose's photo
Fri 01/16/15 01:09 AM
time heals all wounds ....been there.

19Boogie74's photo
Fri 01/16/15 06:15 AM
So am I the lucky one for never falling in or having been loved? Or, are you all the lucky one's for experiencing life in all of it's glory's and pitfalls?

no photo
Fri 01/16/15 06:19 AM

So am I the lucky one for never falling in or having been loved? Or, are you all the lucky one's for experiencing life in all of it's glory's and pitfalls?


Lack of emotion? They have technical terms for people without empathy. ohwell

Ignore the pain. Time. Learn from mistakes.

no photo
Fri 01/16/15 06:59 AM

So am I the lucky one for never falling in or having been loved? Or, are you all the lucky one's for experiencing life in all of it's glory's and pitfalls?


I'll weigh in AFTER you update your profile...:tongue: ...19 and 1/2 months and counting....:wink:

Amelinng's photo
Fri 01/16/15 07:07 AM


Pain doesn't go away, we just get used to it...


Some wounds never heal, but we find a way to move forward. For example, I will never get over the death of my unborn children, even though Ive never seen them, I still mourn over them. I see children around the age my children would be, it makes me think about how things should have gone. I do cherish my neices and nephews even more now than I did before. The woman I was with, I will forever miss as well, not only because she would have been the mother of my children, but because she was the last woman I loved, and I had the deepest and purest love for her. I still mourn the loss of her as well, and I dont think I will ever stop mourning, but I'm moving forward in my life and will continue.

I guess the trick is not to fight the pain, but not to let it control you either. You have to find the strength to pish through it, even when you don't have the strength.


:thumbsup: :thumbsup: flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou
Sorry to hear about your loss, totage!
I cried for weeks when I miscarried my 3rd child, and still think of what & how the child would have turned up, even though it has been nearly 20 yrs now. The memory is still there...but it doesn't hurt anymore.

Totage's photo
Sun 01/18/15 01:00 AM



Pain doesn't go away, we just get used to it...


Some wounds never heal, but we find a way to move forward. For example, I will never get over the death of my unborn children, even though Ive never seen them, I still mourn over them. I see children around the age my children would be, it makes me think about how things should have gone. I do cherish my neices and nephews even more now than I did before. The woman I was with, I will forever miss as well, not only because she would have been the mother of my children, but because she was the last woman I loved, and I had the deepest and purest love for her. I still mourn the loss of her as well, and I dont think I will ever stop mourning, but I'm moving forward in my life and will continue.

I guess the trick is not to fight the pain, but not to let it control you either. You have to find the strength to pish through it, even when you don't have the strength.


:thumbsup: :thumbsup: flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou
Sorry to hear about your loss, totage!
I cried for weeks when I miscarried my 3rd child, and still think of what & how the child would have turned up, even though it has been nearly 20 yrs now. The memory is still there...but it doesn't hurt anymore.


I'm sorry for your loss as well, but glad that you're getting through it. I know how hard it was and still is on me, as a would be father. I stood by the mother and have seen the pain, but still can't imagine how awful it would be for a mother to go through that, not only emotionally but also physically. She had previous children which are happy and healthy, but she always said I never wanted children which was not true at all. I guess it was the pain and fear that caused her to use that excuse and it was a factor in why our relationship dissolved.

messi_is_a_tim_1888's photo
Sun 01/18/15 01:15 AM




Pain doesn't go away, we just get used to it...


Some wounds never heal, but we find a way to move forward. For example, I will never get over the death of my unborn children, even though Ive never seen them, I still mourn over them. I see children around the age my children would be, it makes me think about how things should have gone. I do cherish my neices and nephews even more now than I did before. The woman I was with, I will forever miss as well, not only because she would have been the mother of my children, but because she was the last woman I loved, and I had the deepest and purest love for her. I still mourn the loss of her as well, and I dont think I will ever stop mourning, but I'm moving forward in my life and will continue.

I guess the trick is not to fight the pain, but not to let it control you either. You have to find the strength to pish through it, even when you don't have the strength.


:thumbsup: :thumbsup: flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou
Sorry to hear about your loss, totage!
I cried for weeks when I miscarried my 3rd child, and still think of what & how the child would have turned up, even though it has been nearly 20 yrs now. The memory is still there...but it doesn't hurt anymore.


I'm sorry for your loss as well, but glad that you're getting through it. I know how hard it was and still is on me, as a would be father. I stood by the mother and have seen the pain, but still can't imagine how awful it would be for a mother to go through that, not only emotionally but also physically. She had previous children which are happy and healthy, but she always said I never wanted children which was not true at all. I guess it was the pain and fear that caused her to use that excuse and it was a factor in why our relationship dissolved.
I buried my very first son when i was 18 Totage, he was born premature and only lived for a couple of minutes. Took me to a dark place in my life also. So i have an idea what you experienced. I might have a son that's 23 now and another that's only 1 month old, but you never forget mate! :smile:

Totage's photo
Sun 01/18/15 01:25 AM





Pain doesn't go away, we just get used to it...


Some wounds never heal, but we find a way to move forward. For example, I will never get over the death of my unborn children, even though Ive never seen them, I still mourn over them. I see children around the age my children would be, it makes me think about how things should have gone. I do cherish my neices and nephews even more now than I did before. The woman I was with, I will forever miss as well, not only because she would have been the mother of my children, but because she was the last woman I loved, and I had the deepest and purest love for her. I still mourn the loss of her as well, and I dont think I will ever stop mourning, but I'm moving forward in my life and will continue.

I guess the trick is not to fight the pain, but not to let it control you either. You have to find the strength to pish through it, even when you don't have the strength.


:thumbsup: :thumbsup: flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou
Sorry to hear about your loss, totage!
I cried for weeks when I miscarried my 3rd child, and still think of what & how the child would have turned up, even though it has been nearly 20 yrs now. The memory is still there...but it doesn't hurt anymore.


I'm sorry for your loss as well, but glad that you're getting through it. I know how hard it was and still is on me, as a would be father. I stood by the mother and have seen the pain, but still can't imagine how awful it would be for a mother to go through that, not only emotionally but also physically. She had previous children which are happy and healthy, but she always said I never wanted children which was not true at all. I guess it was the pain and fear that caused her to use that excuse and it was a factor in why our relationship dissolved.
I buried my very first son when i was 18 Totage, he was born premature and only lived for a couple of minutes. Took me to a dark place in my life also. So i have an idea what you experienced. I might have a son that's 23 now and another that's only 1 month old, but you never forget mate! :smile:


Sorry for your loss. Mine childeren would be one and a half years old and six monthes old. They would have been awesome childeren. I imagine me with the mother, her two children and our two children living happily ever after at times, but I have to move on from that.

messi_is_a_tim_1888's photo
Sun 01/18/15 01:34 AM






Pain doesn't go away, we just get used to it...


Some wounds never heal, but we find a way to move forward. For example, I will never get over the death of my unborn children, even though Ive never seen them, I still mourn over them. I see children around the age my children would be, it makes me think about how things should have gone. I do cherish my neices and nephews even more now than I did before. The woman I was with, I will forever miss as well, not only because she would have been the mother of my children, but because she was the last woman I loved, and I had the deepest and purest love for her. I still mourn the loss of her as well, and I dont think I will ever stop mourning, but I'm moving forward in my life and will continue.

I guess the trick is not to fight the pain, but not to let it control you either. You have to find the strength to pish through it, even when you don't have the strength.


:thumbsup: :thumbsup: flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou
Sorry to hear about your loss, totage!
I cried for weeks when I miscarried my 3rd child, and still think of what & how the child would have turned up, even though it has been nearly 20 yrs now. The memory is still there...but it doesn't hurt anymore.


I'm sorry for your loss as well, but glad that you're getting through it. I know how hard it was and still is on me, as a would be father. I stood by the mother and have seen the pain, but still can't imagine how awful it would be for a mother to go through that, not only emotionally but also physically. She had previous children which are happy and healthy, but she always said I never wanted children which was not true at all. I guess it was the pain and fear that caused her to use that excuse and it was a factor in why our relationship dissolved.
I buried my very first son when i was 18 Totage, he was born premature and only lived for a couple of minutes. Took me to a dark place in my life also. So i have an idea what you experienced. I might have a son that's 23 now and another that's only 1 month old, but you never forget mate! :smile:


Sorry for your loss. Mine childeren would be one and a half years old and six monthes old. They would have been awesome childeren. I imagine me with the mother, her two children and our two children living happily ever after at times, but I have to move on from that.
They say times a great healer? but it's not really. It doesn't take much to reopen that wound and take you back again. When my 2nd son was born i just threw everything into being the best dad i could to him, as i appreciated having him more, after losing his brother the way me and his mum did. My youngest son is only a month old, but i'll continue to be the same way with him also, only this time with more experience! :smile: drinker

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