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Topic: It still hurts:
Amelinng Joined Tue 08/12/14 Posts: 1547	Sun 01/18/15 03:26 AM
Pain doesn't go away, we just get used to it... Some wounds never heal, but we find a way to move forward. For example, I will never get over the death of my unborn children, even though Ive never seen them, I still mourn over them. I see children around the age my children would be, it makes me think about how things should have gone. I do cherish my neices and nephews even more now than I did before. The woman I was with, I will forever miss as well, not only because she would have been the mother of my children, but because she was the last woman I loved, and I had the deepest and purest love for her. I still mourn the loss of her as well, and I dont think I will ever stop mourning, but I'm moving forward in my life and will continue. I guess the trick is not to fight the pain, but not to let it control you either. You have to find the strength to pish through it, even when you don't have the strength. Sorry to hear about your loss, totage! I cried for weeks when I miscarried my 3rd child, and still think of what & how the child would have turned up, even though it has been nearly 20 yrs now. The memory is still there...but it doesn't hurt anymore. I'm sorry for your loss as well, but glad that you're getting through it. I know how hard it was and still is on me, as a would be father. I stood by the mother and have seen the pain, but still can't imagine how awful it would be for a mother to go through that, not only emotionally but also physically. She had previous children which are happy and healthy, but she always said I never wanted children which was not true at all. I guess it was the pain and fear that caused her to use that excuse and it was a factor in why our relationship dissolved. I buried my very first son when i was 18 Totage, he was born premature and only lived for a couple of minutes. Took me to a dark place in my life also. So i have an idea what you experienced. I might have a son that's 23 now and another that's only 1 month old, but you never forget mate! Sorry for your loss. Mine childeren would be one and a half years old and six monthes old. They would have been awesome childeren. I imagine me with the mother, her two children and our two children living happily ever after at times, but I have to move on from that. They say times a great healer? but it's not really. It doesn't take much to reopen that wound and take you back again. When my 2nd son was born i just threw everything into being the best dad i could to him, as i appreciated having him more, after losing his brother the way me and his mum did. My youngest son is only a month old, but i'll continue to be the same way with him also, only this time with more experience! Sorry for both your loss Looks like we never get over it ....even after so so many years! Yeah, takes just a little to reopen that wound and then you hurt all over again remembering. Time heals and the hurt gets less over the years. Great that you are enjoying fatherhood, Tim! Makes you appreciate the little ones more after your previous loss. Totage.....you will have that joy in time! Stay positive!

mightymoe Joined Sun 11/19/06 Posts: 37362	Sun 01/18/15 03:40 AM
Pain doesn't go away, we just get used to it... no, it goes away, if you let it... holding on to it helps, in a weird way... when your done hurting, you'll stop...

Astrea09 Joined Sun 06/29/14 Posts: 22	Sun 01/18/15 03:43 AM
It's comforting to learn about someone getting over his/her pain.. Thank you for replying to my post. My post was about my mom who i always miss and still dream of specially on special occasions.. It's meaningful as always. Every time i think of the past, it hurts me, because i never said i love her... Sometimes, i wonder if we showed her how we love her because it was always her giving... My sisblings and i still talk about how could have done differently.. So, i urge you please show how much you love your love ones, every minute, every day...

mightymoe Joined Sun 11/19/06 Posts: 37362	Sun 01/18/15 03:47 AM
It's comforting to learn about someone getting over his/her pain.. Thank you for replying to my post. My post was about my mom who i always miss and still dream of specially on special occasions.. It's meaningful as always. Every time i think of the past, it hurts me, because i never said i love her... Sometimes, i wonder if we showed her how we love her because it was always her giving... My sisblings and i still talk about how could have done differently.. So, i urge you please show how much you love your love ones, every minute, every day... even though you miss her terribly, remember all the good things and the great life she had... i'm sure she wouldn't want you to be sad, mothers don't teach that. and people don't always have to say i love you, showing it means more than words...

mysticalview21 Joined Sat 06/28/14 Posts: 5462	Sun 01/18/15 09:03 AM
Pain doesn't go away, we just get used to it... ... especially when your spouse dies, like mine did 4 1/2 years ago. I did not know ... so sorry for your loss ...I am sure its one of those at the top of the list know one should have to go through ... I might agree... we just get use to the pain ... as we may know it was real ...