I've noticed something in these posts. It may not be a new occurence, since my attention to it began with the post by USM.

Poor USM was obviously very distressed at the conversation that his innocent topic bagan.

Since then I've been looking at our posts in the religious column and I see a great many new faces and many of them begin a topic.

In the course of topic, usually near the beginning, they may even add a reply or two. But then they dissappear. Many of our conversations do go on but I was just wondering -

Does anyone who regularly post here, think we are too intimidating, too intense for others to feel comfortable joining us?

Any thoughts - all my talkative friends?

Hi, and as you can see by the lower post count I don't talk all that much, but I don't feel intimidated. In fact I'm getting used to hearing from some of the individuals on here, and miss them when they don't post.

Red, I think it might be that our individualism may be intimidating. It just goes against the whole herd mentality. How dare someone might have an original idea. It is just totally frustrating. It has the tendency to totally go against everything that we have been taught since childhood. Intelligence is evil but ignorance is bliss.

I read the posts often, and post occasionally. I find the regulars neither intimidating nor too intense. I respect everyone's viewpoint that posts, but, no insult intended, I see an appearance of arrogance in a lot of the posts. For myself, that is not an issue, however. I realize that religious discussions are difficult to have because it is such a personal topic, and is deeply rooted in one's person. Those type discussions often make a person feel personally attacked, so they leave them or avoid them. Just my own personal view...and I reserve the right to be incorrect on my analysis.

I cannot really speak for others who may be new. I have been looking at a lot of the posts to get a better understanding of each of the writers that, like you mention, may appear in a post frequently and then the new person disappears.

It helps to hang in there rather than back away too fast, but sometimes it leaves one at a loss for words.

I find that as a person reveals more about themselves, even though some things they believe in or have some interest in, may not be to my taste/belief I can at least understand or see their point of view.

My own preference is to allow people to share their thoughts and feelings rather than go on 'attack' mode. It probably isn't that to the people doing it, but it can certainly seem that way to someone just jumping into a topic for the first time and feeling like they are in a battle ground.

If they are brave enough to stick around I am sure they would find out for the most part that is not the case.

Gosh.... I hope not... I can't imagine that I am...

but you guys...well maybe


Seriously, it's "religion"; how could it not be intense? If you're beliefs are not important enough to get a bit excited about why even bother to discuss them?

And sometimes the "shy ones" send me a note instead of posting.

I like to hear the new voices... please speak up... I love talking to all the regulars but a new perspective is also always welcome... to me.

One of the things that has intrigued me in the Old Testament is the mention of groves. In Druidity groves are spiritual places but when you read about the good and bad kings before Jesus came along the good kings cut down the groves and the bad kings just let the groves grow. It is like this see saw effect with the good and bad kings. And this one was good but his son was bad but his son was good but his son was bad. Being both a spiritual and religious person I have to wonder what was so wrong about the groves since I really love trees. As frustrating as contradictions are I really love them.

It's culture shock.

It's like when you were a kid and you were first in the pool/lake/river/pond/ocean, you would say "The waters great, jump right in" and laugh as your brothers/sisters/friends would come out of the water screaming "It's freezing, you liar!"

i believe that sometimes is hard to keep up with the wording in the arguments.
even for me who enjoy being around here, sometimes I just don't post because the intelectual level of the debate is way too much for me.
I'm not afraid of the what somebody else can tell me when we don't agree, but sometimes the wiser people here get lost in semantics, and the get confusing for the average human being.

John,
Thanks for the response. I read your post and understand. I don’t have much time to post like I used to, but I do pop in just to see the people whose voices, I’ve come accustomed to hearing so often.
It’s good that you’re getting familiar with some of the voices, I just wanted to know if we were being --- well, inhospitable, I guess.

Hillfolk,
You made me laugh, because I had thought of that too. But then I wondered if anyone actually follows these threads to lean, but feels too self conscious to post. Being a dating site I don’t think people expect the kind of intensity of discussion we have. That made me wonder if we were being, in any way not beneficial, to the main purpose of this site. Know what I mean?

Willy_cents
Cute dog! I’m glad you know some of us; maybe we’d like to know you back, speak up more often. As for the arrogance – consider it a personality flaw, and look for the virtues behind it, at least it’s a good pastime. LOL!

Britty,
You said.
“My own preference is to allow people to share their thoughts and feelings rather than go on 'attack' mode. It probably isn't that to the people doing it, but it can certainly seem that way to someone just jumping into a topic for the first time and feeling like they are in a battle ground.

When I first started posting at JSH – there was almost no action in the Religious and little in the current events. But what was in the upper topic was so clique oriented; I just kept getting pushed aside. So I began posting in the Religious topics.

One of my concerns was that we had become just another clique and others just couldn’t get in. It is a dating site and I just wanted to make sure we weren’t disregarding others.

wow, I stop to make a reply and look at all who show up.

HI Everyone!

I was worried about the new comers, AND that I've been here so long, and have seen almost no "dating" interactions here.????

Just wanted to make sure that everyone is comfortable, even if they're just reading. Sometimes, that's all the comfort I come here for.

I hadn't thought of myself as intimidating...

The written word is so powerful...and usually concise, so there are no cues as to the emotion behind the post, and can be mis-interpreted.

I don't find anyone intimidating...sometimes I see/veiw someone as very strong in their convictions...which to me is admirable, no matter what my personal opinions are.

Intelligence and articulation can be veiwed as intimidating, I guess.

Gee Di, I hope not....

We're not scary....just long winded...and passionate...about EVERYTHING!

True Jess, very right on.

Scary?? Well, maybe you guys are...but not me. I'm just a simple long winded, OPINIONATED , sorta passionate and wordy, individual who just so happens to speak outta turn and get abrasive when I feel the urge to test the waters.
Sheeeeuuuwww. Was that long winded enough?
Hi Di, Jess and everybody. Against the likes of you two women, I am a mere pup.
Kat

This is my favorite place to hang out because those other places get just TOO OUTTA HAND!! The really smart people hang here.
Kat

Jess and Anoasis, have not found your comments to be intimidating, always interesting, lively or thought provoking.

My husband was a mensa so we had some pretty good 'discussions', I have found that one can get a point across in simple language as well as on a more intellectual level. Sometimes the 'heart' speaks volumes.

Hill folk - you have me thinking on that one:
Jeremiah 17:2 Whilst their children remember their altars and their groves by the green trees upon the high hills

The fact that this passage talks of groves BY the trees leads me to think there is a lot more to this and one would need to dig deeper to get the whole meaning.

I do not see things like that as contradictory. When I have delved into issues like that and researched the background of the people, history, customs I find that things become a lot more clearer and where there may appear to be a contradiction, there indeed is not.

I don't find it intimidating at all. I just feel that a lot of these arguments/topics just repeat themselves or else it's nothing I haven't debated before in other venues.

You guys are great about intellectually arguing your viewpoints on faith and I enjoy reading and posting with all of you, but sometimes I just want to come online and goof off on the other threads.

I agree BayGal.

I don't want to argue with anyone.

For the most part, I think we have lively discussions. Every now and then, yup, I get torqued. Then again, what better way to learn better communication skills than being upset, yet trying to remain calm and get your point across. Then again, there are times when nothing is going to get the point across and I'm getting better at learning to quit with those.

well ya won't see me in here anymore too much......


sheeeeesh....