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| Topic: Do men love? | |
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Edited by
davidben1
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Mon 12/15/14 06:40 AM
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maybe no one in the world is actually loving anything except getting what they want for them self...
at least most of the time... for it is hard to miss people first "love" but most when they are given to... and boy does the anger as hate come out if they feel they "should" be given to, whether it be sex or anything else they wish... maybe that's part of our evolutionary progress... for the mental miserableness that comes with "demanding" others love one self, no doubt can later create the greater insight of what one self once wanted, was not one self being loving at all, but rather only as demanding others fulfill the imaginations of one's own self satisfactions granted... maybe evolution simply created the "sad way" to first become lived out, for the true recognition of the intellect over the emotions of a better more "happy way"... maybe it's about becoming strong enough not to need love from others... becoming mentally durable... resilience that needs not to try to "steal" or take happiness from others... for it is hard to miss the most horrible people ever recorded in history, were those that expected to be served thinking this was someone loving them... perhaps the world at large is increasing in mental illness simply over anger at other's not loving them... anger over another not treating one self how it deems it self "should be" treated... anger at not be giving sex... anger anger anger... totally self sabotaging. smiles... do many think sex is love... one can have sex and not feel an ounce of love... but then one can have sex and feel love... will a man choose sex over love... many times... but in the end, to love another is far more precious than gratuitous self gratification followed. peace to all |
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Edited by
dreamerana
on
Mon 12/15/14 06:43 AM
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there is a saying that there is no person more blind than the one who chooses not to see.
sometimes people defend a position because they are afraid to take the chance on something different. they aren't happy where they are but it's comfortable because it's the realm of what is known. I once was like that too. having been a victim, I judged all men the same. it was easier to hold that expectation of all men than to hope and believe someone could love me. somewhere along the way I realized that this was punishing people wrongly and also. keeping myself from being free. sure I was being careful not to be hurt, but I was also holding off possibilities for what I most dreamed about. wishing you all the best. |
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maybe no one in the world is actually loving anything except getting what they want for them self... at least most of the time... for it is hard to miss people first "love" but when they are given to... and boy does the anger as hate come out if they feel they "should" be given to, whether it be sex or anything else they wish... maybe that's part of our evolutionary progress... for the mental miserableness that comes with "demanding" others love one self, no doubt can later create the greater insight of what one self once wanted, was not one self being loving at all, but rather only as demanding others fulfill the imaginations of one's own self satisfactions granted... maybe evolution simply created the "sad way" to first become lived out, for the true recognition of the intellect over the emotions of a better more "happy way"... maybe it's about becoming strong enough not to need love from others... becoming mentally durable... resilience that needs not to try to "steal" or take happiness from others... for it is hard to miss the most horrible people ever recorded in history, were those that expected to be served thinking this was someone loving them... perhaps the world at large is increasing in mental illness simply over anger at other's not loving them... anger over another not treating one self how it deems it self "should be" treated... anger at not be giving sex... anger anger anger... totally self sabotaging. smiles... do many think sex is love... one can have sex and not feel an ounce of love... but then one can have sex and feel love... will a man choose sex over love... many times... but in the end, to love another is far more precious than gratuitous self gratification followed. peace to all I can totally agree with this understanding, but I believe as wisdom increases with age, many change what used to be of importance to them and make wiser choices for their lives. JMHO |
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Edited by
Estelle79
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Mon 12/15/14 06:56 AM
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Another example: A man marries a woman knowing he is gay because he also knows nobody will accept his true feelings in life, so he deceives his wife and everyone else and in the end she finds out and it destroys her and her children's lives. Did this man show love? Nope, it looks like he only showed selfishness the whole time he was married. Plenty of men get married even though they are not in love. Often, the only time a man can express his love is when he cheats and that's selfish. But, that's because men are not generally in touch with their feelings, so they must lead a double life.
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Another example: A man marries a woman knowing he is gay because he also knows nobody will accept his true feelings in life, so he deceives his wife and everyone else and in the end she finds out and it destroys her and her children's lives. Did this man show love? Nope, it looks like he only showed selfishness the whole time he was married. Plenty of men get married even though they are not in love. Often, the only time a man can express his love is when he cheats and that's selfish. But, that's because men are not generally in touch with their feelings, so they must lead a double life. |
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I believe thatmen do find excitement in love, some women don't realize that men just have a different way of expressing love and they tend to be selfish whenit comes to love,women are the nuturers men are the protector and provider, for a woman to give a man the love and respect for being the man then yes the man will become excited . We all need to be adored ,men need it more "some women don't realize that men just have a different way of expressing love and they tend to be selfish whenit comes to love" So, you agree that men are too selfish to love and women should realize it (just accept it, not question it). "We all need to be adored ,men need it more" Why do men need love more than women? Oh, it's because women are nurturers and not selfish like men, I see. I was saying that women tend tto be selfish not men and yes men do need to be more adored because men are not the nuturers therefore they don't spend all day thinking about whether they have loved enough that day |
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Edited by
davidben1
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Mon 12/15/14 07:52 AM
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Dcastelmissy...
yea, i feel ya... even though if we use the actions and emotions of the whole world as our guide, it would not seem wisdom is increasing at this moment in evolution, but rather decreasing... so time lived will not equate to "wisdom" carte blanche... if wisdom be equated to wiser choices... the world is "older", society as one, but yet we have more and more poor choices... if we take all things happening in the world as our tell... but then what are "wise" choices... those that result in one getting what it wants for it self... choices that result in others getting what they want... i guess there would have to be an agreed notion as to what wisdom actually is... is wisdom to be equated to solutions, versus dilemma's... nah, wisdom is at an all time low... emotional diatribe that "soothes" the emotions trumps in the present era... most all data emotional rhetoric as to the "defects" of others as the reason one does not have what it wishes for it self. and you still won't convince that such is not created by the human species first equating "love" with "getting"... and until that phase is passed through, creating a constant actual "love state" be impossible... simply since if one believes "getting is love", than each time it self does not get, or another does not do as one wishes them to, it will emotionally triggered in the body that "self was not loved"... and then the long long list grows longer each day one lives believing the same notion... it seems obvious we are at a peak of each human defining the entire reality of the world but through their own personal experiences, the essence of "knowledge"... hence all the generalizations of world and of the opposite sex, drawing innuendo into facts, with a large brush of painting an entire state of affairs of male and female, based upon what has happened in one's own life. anyhow... it's all subjective... and until that changes... well, words are pretty much just an exercise in keeping one's expression alive. |
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I realize everyone (the men folk) feel insulted atm but look at it this way, she ain't talkin about you.
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Estelle,
in reading through this I remembered some of your previous topics and perhaps gained some understanding of where you are coming from. and it reminded me of a time when I was working with the elderly. one of the best things about that is they talk to you and share advice from experience gained over their navigating through life. two things I learned even if it didn't sink in until years later are: we create self fulfilling prophecy. we expect something, in this case for men to be selfish. because we might be afraid to seek something real, we seek out a relationship we won't allow to get far. when the inevitable result plays out, it proves us right to begin with. one of my adopted grannies back then told me (when I was complaining that no guy was interested) she said it would help a lot if you weren't so stand offish. so there I go. hanging out with people who I knew I wouldn't commit to. then complaining about being alone again. it took time and understanding to break the cycle. the second thing is forgiving brings peace and frees you. when you hold on to the wrongs others do, you keep giving that memory the power to continue hurting you. when you can forgive, you can let go. you can let that hurt diminish in size, thus allowing you to move forward without dragging that unnecessary force with you. it may not be a question of whether or not men love, but of being open to the possibility. |
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the words of a person describe who they them self are, all their "own feelings", that they are looking thru.
and these have little to do with who others actually are. |
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Another example: A man marries a woman knowing he is gay because he also knows nobody will accept his true feelings in life, so he deceives his wife and everyone else and in the end she finds out and it destroys her and her children's lives. Did this man show love? Nope, it looks like he only showed selfishness the whole time he was married. Plenty of men get married even though they are not in love. Often, the only time a man can express his love is when he cheats and that's selfish. But, that's because men are not generally in touch with their feelings, so they must lead a double life. |
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I realize everyone (the men folk) feel insulted atm but look at it this way, she ain't talkin about you. I'm not insulted. I may not agree, but I think I understand where the OP's coming from. And how she came to feel this way. I also hope she can find a way to get past it. |
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... that's because men are not generally in touch with their feelings, so they must lead a double life. Meanwhile, in this universe ... |
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Do we love what?
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I realize everyone (the men folk) feel insulted atm but look at it this way, she ain't talkin about you. I'm not insulted. I may not agree, but I think I understand where the OP's coming from. And how she came to feel this way. I also hope she can find a way to get past it. 
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I may not agree, but I think I understand where the OP's coming from. And how she came to feel this way. I also hope she can find a way to get past it. Me, too. It saddens me to see a Human whine that "those grapes are sour". |
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I was just wondering. It seems like men don't want love they talk here about wanting sex and a sandwich. I'm not being a drama queen just noticed something.   (((Mikey))) .
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I'm happy as long as you are and I hope he continues to make you happy. I think the only way to truly find out about a man is by the way he treats you when the going get's tough.
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I'm happy as long as you are and I hope he continues to make you happy. I think the only way to truly find out about a man is by the way he treats you when the going get's tough. 
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I'm happy as long as you are and I hope he continues to make you happy. I think the only way to truly find out about a man is by the way he treats you when the going get's tough. now that no doubt is true... and it's also true one will have to see how a women treats a man when the going gets tough. it's the same for both sexes... human actions are human actions. those that keep it as a competition between the sexes just blind them self by looking at differences, instead of sames. |
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