child abuse.
There's a topic on here which asks if religion is child abuse and it made me wonder about divorce.

I'm not saying parents purposely abuse children through divorce but often children are the ones who hurt the most.

Suppose that a woman divorces her husband because he has been abusing their children.

In such a case, the divorce is a way to get children away from a child abuser.

like religion and religious beliefs, there are too many variables to divorce to blanketly label it abuse in and of itself


I do consider it selfish to INTENTIONALLY bring a child in the world for just our own needs and wants, without planning on them even having the CHANCE at a mother and father

Good point David, for once lol
I wasn't giving an opinion myself, I was simply asking the question.

I agree.

If peace and quiet is restored to their family, they will be better off than with parents who can't stand each other, possibly argue all the time etc. The vibe and stress in such a home is not healthy to grow up in. In most cases I know, things got a lot better for the children after the divorce. If the parent the kids live with, is happy, she/he can provide a much stabler home for them than in an unhappy marriage/relationship, even if there wasn't any abuse.

I agree with David also ... being one or the other ...
there are so many circumstances out there that in a way can divorce can be abuse to the children ... some kids believe its their fault
but hopefully they come to find out its not them at all ... it is one of the two parents or s/o that had the issues ... and the kids see that later in their life and go that is true what you said or what i saw ... and then them selves being treated the same to know the feelings just as the one parent... so many things... its so complicated being each break up is different ... and I agree Op and will never forget what my child said right before the break up ...
heart rinching ...

True. Even though my ex continues to emotionally abuse my son and manipulate him into sabotaging our relationship. I have come to terms that my son will realize this when he becomes an adult.

True. Even though my ex continues to emotionally abuse my son and manipulate him into sabotaging our relationship. I have come to terms that my son will realize this when he becomes an adult.







I hope so to ... I have a friend that has had their child turned against the her mother ... and to hear her cry is very hard ...some parents play to many games with their children an is so not fair to the child ... becouse they love both parents even though their not directly in there life ... an some day will see the truth for what is was or is ...

Sadly child abuse is going on everywhere! There are different forms of child abuse and you can call some religion if you want. Physical, Mental ,(Sexual to me the worst) but its how You as a person that defines it. You and your partner needs to set a standard for discipline and stick by this! Being the real parent or not (man or woman)! And this i know from fathering a child myself and being a stepfather of anothers family! Manipulation on a child's part can be destructive in a relationship as anything else. This usually happens in their teenage years. Believe in your children but you also need to have faith in your mate unless proven otherwise. Been there with my own daughter and others children. Don't falter and talk before any commitment in a family situation. We all want what's best for a child or in a relationship in the future! These days its a packaged deal so be ready for the ride!

Yes, he will, as long as you continue the line you set out. Been there as well, and now my kids are starting to see the big picture and that I did the best I could. And that feels absolutely marvelous!
They now tell me stories of how their father 'fails' them. I treat that with respect, never use it as an opportunity to get back at him. I don't feel the need, plus I value my children's trust a he|| of a lot more. It gives me the chance to guide them, or simply listen to them. It feels so good to have their full trust again!!
So hang in there, Fleta! It will change

Probably won't change until that psychopath is hit by a truck. Hard....*sigh*

My parents were married 11 times between them.
That's a lot of abuse :-)

But no, I never felt it was abuse (having actually BEEN
abused by a parent) and, in fact it seemed to solve
their problems.

Forcing vegetables on a child "could" fulfill the legal definition of emotional child abuse if it could be proved to have lead to certain behavioral changes. And all you really need is the right doctor to say so, easily found by any helicopter parent.

I mean in AZ "serious emotional abuse" is satisfied if "...diagnosed by a medical doctor or a psychologist"...serious anxiety, depression, withdrawal, or social dysfunction behavior to the extent that the child suffers dysfunction that requires treatment"


Anything that causes any kind of stress in a child can ultimately be shown or proven to be "child abuse."

Personally, I think providing for and forcing kids to go to school from k-12th grades, and especially then expecting them to all of a sudden provide for school themselves otherwise be magically capable of providing for themselves in a working environment completely dissimilar to what they've spent their life training for, is a form of child abuse.


Some "abuse" is necessary and better than some alternatives.


Learning is pain.
Adapting to life is pain.
The more adapted you are to coddling, the less it will take to be considered "abuse."

Some kids think failing to get a car for their license-age birthday is child abuse so where do we draw the line?

Good topic Franky, I am a child of divorce and from the way I view it I think David nailed it right.

its a thin line, some people can be 'healthy' and not feel abused at all by the same behavior that makes others feel abused

is abuse something outsiders can label for others , or is it in the experience of the 'victim'?

Lets see if this is a good answer? Some children and adults won't accept the responsibility of Growing up! Some need to be guided in what is expected of them for what they accomplish in life as they grow by guiding them as they grow day by day! I inherited nothing from death expected nothing! Anything else (is a gift) to you from your Father or Mother after death,not expected but earned!! You only earn what you Work for!! What i've got" i've earned and worked for and expect to enjoy myself" or share with whoever makes my life enjoyable until my Death"! Anything i have now will be useless to me after death! Hopefully that makes since?

While it my have solved their problems, I would think having 11 "steps" in ones life would be a traumatic negative experience for a off spring. ( of any age) and very self serving on the part of the parents. Kudos..Don't know how you did it... I would have had a problem with that. That would have affected me.