Topic: obeying your husband
mom333's photo
Thu 10/09/14 08:50 AM


its amazing how many single mothers there are out there who are single mothers because the men in there lives could not cope with having children, this is the reason women are so much more stronger and able to keep families running smoothly. these single moms should be cherished and admired because some of the most amazing people on earth have come from them. children are amazing it does not matter how they entered the world they are still amazing and if the mothers of these children are loving and caring and can care for there children and bring them up good she herself is amazing. this is what can make or break a woman, raising children. this is why im so proud to have mine they are a credit to me and every single mother out there should feel the same. me and my brothers and sisters were abused as children and in our teens, I have scars on my legs from when she beat me with wire, she beat me because I wet the bed, she beat me for talking to anyone outside the house, I was not allowed to play out with friends or come downstairs when she was there unless it was to eat or talk to my dad. she would come into my room at night and start beating me for no reason, and she would call me a s**t and a w**re and she said I would burn in hell. I then went to school and got severely bullied Monday to Friday because I was shy and was scared to talk to people. when I turned 18 I was thrown out literally on the street with 2 black bags. I met a lovely man who I became friends with we had a relationship and I thought he treated me quite well even though I had bruises all over me from the beatings he gave me. we had children and everything was lovely until the kids went to bed and he would take out the days frustrations on me. i found a friend went to church got some strength not from the god stuff but from myself seeing couples that loved each other and not all Disney but real respect and I thought wow. with the new strength and self worth I found punched him in the balls got rid of him went and had a makeover started a new happy life with my kids as a single mom and now im me. by the way my dad beat my mum for years before she had me. so if I can believe marriage can still work and actually be happy even if you have kids already even if you a single mom even if your fat or thin then anyone can. the reason im not married is because this is me and my kids time to shine I make clothes my girl is going to excel at the piano and horse riding and my son can read a book and then recite the book back to you all this with a single mom. not all single moms are the same and some do better on there own than with the dad there.


Okay, all abused women will have a problem with the word "obey".

There is no reason that you HAVE to be married to have balance at this point. Would you be able to afford $$ for a divorce if you happened to pick the same type of abuser? It generally keeps happening until you realize how to stop allowing it. You should be more protective of yourself and your kids now. Abused women unknowingly have a flashing sign on their forehead that say, "Predator, pick me!". I know, I have one.

You do not need a marriage guarantee, to eventually complete your family to be balanced.

Couldn't you be happy with someone who promised to cherish you, in cohabitation, who became a father figure for your children?

It's about respect, trust, loyalty, love..values....not vows made in a religious church. Those are society's skewed values.
I pinpointed it the day I kicked my ex in the balls lol. plus im not married yet because I chose to not be. needing a man and wanting a man are very different things. im sorry you feel that you have a sign because of what you went through, but you need to relax just the fact that you can say that means you actually don't. you just think you do. flowerforyou

mom333's photo
Thu 10/09/14 08:50 AM



its amazing how many single mothers there are out there who are single mothers because the men in there lives could not cope with having children, this is the reason women are so much more stronger and able to keep families running smoothly. these single moms should be cherished and admired because some of the most amazing people on earth have come from them. children are amazing it does not matter how they entered the world they are still amazing and if the mothers of these children are loving and caring and can care for there children and bring them up good she herself is amazing. this is what can make or break a woman, raising children. this is why im so proud to have mine they are a credit to me and every single mother out there should feel the same. me and my brothers and sisters were abused as children and in our teens, I have scars on my legs from when she beat me with wire, she beat me because I wet the bed, she beat me for talking to anyone outside the house, I was not allowed to play out with friends or come downstairs when she was there unless it was to eat or talk to my dad. she would come into my room at night and start beating me for no reason, and she would call me a s**t and a w**re and she said I would burn in hell. I then went to school and got severely bullied Monday to Friday because I was shy and was scared to talk to people. when I turned 18 I was thrown out literally on the street with 2 black bags. I met a lovely man who I became friends with we had a relationship and I thought he treated me quite well even though I had bruises all over me from the beatings he gave me. we had children and everything was lovely until the kids went to bed and he would take out the days frustrations on me. i found a friend went to church got some strength not from the god stuff but from myself seeing couples that loved each other and not all Disney but real respect and I thought wow. with the new strength and self worth I found punched him in the balls got rid of him went and had a makeover started a new happy life with my kids as a single mom and now im me. by the way my dad beat my mum for years before she had me. so if I can believe marriage can still work and actually be happy even if you have kids already even if you a single mom even if your fat or thin then anyone can. the reason im not married is because this is me and my kids time to shine I make clothes my girl is going to excel at the piano and horse riding and my son can read a book and then recite the book back to you all this with a single mom. not all single moms are the same and some do better on there own than with the dad there.


Okay, all abused women will have a problem with the word "obey".

There is no reason that you HAVE to be married to have balance at this point. Would you be able to afford $$ for a divorce if you happened to pick the same type of abuser? It generally keeps happening until you realize how to stop allowing it. You should be more protective of yourself and your kids now. Abused women unknowingly have a flashing sign on their forehead that say, "Predator, pick me!". I know, I have one.

You do not need a marriage guarantee, to eventually complete your family to be balanced.

Couldn't you be happy with someone who promised to cherish you, in cohabitation, who became a father figure for your children?

It's about respect, trust, loyalty, love..values....not vows made in a religious church. Those are society's skewed values.
I pinpointed it the day I kicked my ex in the balls lol. plus im not married yet because I chose to not be. needing a man and wanting a man are very different things. im sorry you feel that you have a sign because of what you went through, but you need to relax just the fact that you can say that means you actually don't. you just think you do. flowerforyou
just because you say obey does not make you a doormat, a marriage should have love respect and loyalty maybe some other things but I thought I would say those.

no photo
Thu 10/09/14 09:00 AM
Edited by fleta_n_mach on Thu 10/09/14 09:31 AM

Yes, a doormat. First, you should understand Co dependence. Once you have understood that and have researched that, then come back with your arguments for "balance".

mom333's photo
Thu 10/09/14 09:15 AM




its amazing how many single mothers there are out there who are single mothers because the men in there lives could not cope with having children, this is the reason women are so much more stronger and able to keep families running smoothly. these single moms should be cherished and admired because some of the most amazing people on earth have come from them. children are amazing it does not matter how they entered the world they are still amazing and if the mothers of these children are loving and caring and can care for there children and bring them up good she herself is amazing. this is what can make or break a woman, raising children. this is why im so proud to have mine they are a credit to me and every single mother out there should feel the same. me and my brothers and sisters were abused as children and in our teens, I have scars on my legs from when she beat me with wire, she beat me because I wet the bed, she beat me for talking to anyone outside the house, I was not allowed to play out with friends or come downstairs when she was there unless it was to eat or talk to my dad. she would come into my room at night and start beating me for no reason, and she would call me a s**t and a w**re and she said I would burn in hell. I then went to school and got severely bullied Monday to Friday because I was shy and was scared to talk to people. when I turned 18 I was thrown out literally on the street with 2 black bags. I met a lovely man who I became friends with we had a relationship and I thought he treated me quite well even though I had bruises all over me from the beatings he gave me. we had children and everything was lovely until the kids went to bed and he would take out the days frustrations on me. i found a friend went to church got some strength not from the god stuff but from myself seeing couples that loved each other and not all Disney but real respect and I thought wow. with the new strength and self worth I found punched him in the balls got rid of him went and had a makeover started a new happy life with my kids as a single mom and now im me. by the way my dad beat my mum for years before she had me. so if I can believe marriage can still work and actually be happy even if you have kids already even if you a single mom even if your fat or thin then anyone can. the reason im not married is because this is me and my kids time to shine I make clothes my girl is going to excel at the piano and horse riding and my son can read a book and then recite the book back to you all this with a single mom. not all single moms are the same and some do better on there own than with the dad there.


Okay, all abused women will have a problem with the word "obey".

There is no reason that you HAVE to be married to have balance at this point. Would you be able to afford $$ for a divorce if you happened to pick the same type of abuser? It generally keeps happening until you realize how to stop allowing it. You should be more protective of yourself and your kids now. Abused women unknowingly have a flashing sign on their forehead that say, "Predator, pick me!". I know, I have one.

You do not need a marriage guarantee, to eventually complete your family to be balanced.

Couldn't you be happy with someone who promised to cherish you, in cohabitation, who became a father figure for your children?

It's about respect, trust, loyalty, love..values....not vows made in a religious church. Those are society's skewed values.
I pinpointed it the day I kicked my ex in the balls lol. plus im not married yet because I chose to not be. needing a man and wanting a man are very different things. im sorry you feel that you have a sign because of what you went through, but you need to relax just the fact that you can say that means you actually don't. you just think you do. flowerforyou


Sorry, the Department of Justice will tell you that if you ever sought proper help to flee. Predators can pick out vulnerable women out of a room of 200 other women, and single you out. Yup.

Forget about your thoughts of marriage.
in my life I've seen a lot couples who's marriage's are balanced. ill give you an example...she was abused by her husband her treated her quite bad, I met her 2 years ago for the first time at the church I went to, we still talk today actually were quite close. she left him and got a divorce she has only 1 child, she cant have anymore. she met a man not at the church but through a friend of hers. she had been single for well over a year I think about 18 months in all then she met this man. they have been together married for 4 years and I have to say she believes in balanced marriages they are so so happy. everything you would want in a marriage is there and they are going through the process of him actually adopting her child. just because things started out bad that is no reason to cut yourself of from the things you want now or in the future.

Ɔʎɹɐx's photo
Thu 10/09/14 09:22 AM

respect and obey your husband.

it's not a Commander - subordinate relationship to be based on obedience !
there should be a complete understanding , respect and above all equity in everything : responsibilities and rights .

mom333's photo
Thu 10/09/14 09:26 AM


respect and obey your husband.

it's not a Commander - subordinate relationship to be based on obedience !
there should be a complete understanding , respect and above all equity in everything : responsibilities and rights .
and that is why we call it balanced

sybariticguy's photo
Thu 10/09/14 09:35 AM

This is my question as well...what is a good wife in 2014? Does she obey her husband, does she do typical wifely duties, sometimes those conflict by the way, does she work and everything else as if single, it's just confusing me what being a good wife means? I just don't know what the role of a good wife is supposed to be in this day and age, and I've never been married.
People demanding obedience are simply dictators of the soul....

mom333's photo
Thu 10/09/14 09:40 AM

I think for me I'm going to focus on myself. Being good and loving myself also focus on God. Then hopefully I'll attract the same type of man. Take my time and when/if I find a man who wants to marry me and I see he shares the same values as me I won't have a problem vowing to obey him. If i dont ever get married I'm okay with that too.
flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou flowerforyou

no photo
Thu 10/09/14 09:41 AM
I think for me I'm going to focus on myself. Being good and loving myself also focus on God. Then hopefully I'll attract the same type of man. Take my time and when/if I find a man who wants to marry me and I see he shares the same values as me I won't have a problem vowing to obey him. If i dont ever get married I'm okay with that too.

Ɔʎɹɐx's photo
Thu 10/09/14 09:43 AM



respect and obey your husband.

it's not a Commander - subordinate relationship to be based on obedience !
there should be a complete understanding , respect and above all equity in everything : responsibilities and rights .
and that is why we call it balanced

yet using the word ( obey ) gives a negative impression

mom333's photo
Thu 10/09/14 09:43 AM




respect and obey your husband.

it's not a Commander - subordinate relationship to be based on obedience !
there should be a complete understanding , respect and above all equity in everything : responsibilities and rights .
and that is why we call it balanced

yet using the word ( obey ) gives a negative impression
the word obey does not mean doormat.

no photo
Thu 10/09/14 09:44 AM
Maybe the word "obey" isn't meant to be taken so literally?

Ɔʎɹɐx's photo
Thu 10/09/14 09:47 AM
Edited by Ɔʎɹɐx on Thu 10/09/14 09:50 AM

Maybe the word "obey" isn't meant to be taken so literally?

what other meanings does it have rather than to respond to someone's will whether you liked it or not ?




mom333's photo
Thu 10/09/14 09:50 AM


Maybe the word "obey" isn't meant to be taken so literally?

what other meanings does it have rather than to respond to someone's will either if that suits you or not ?
if its in the best interest of your family and the husband that is asking this of you ahs the same morals and is on the same path as you he wouldn't ask something of you that is bad or negative.

no photo
Thu 10/09/14 09:55 AM
Well...I believe that traditional wedding vows are from the Bible. The original language of the Bible was Aramaic. The Bible had to be translated in to Hebrew and Greek and English. Things get lost in translation. Some words in the bible mean one thing here but in another place the same word carries a different meaning.

no photo
Thu 10/09/14 09:57 AM
Besides obeying doesn't mean that a husband and wife can't work together....

Ɔʎɹɐx's photo
Thu 10/09/14 09:59 AM
Edited by Ɔʎɹɐx on Thu 10/09/14 10:01 AM
we are not discussing the moral side , the point here is : why should the female obeys the male's orders - or points of view if you will - while they both have the same sharing in the family establishing nowadays ( i am not only talking about the financial side )




no photo
Thu 10/09/14 10:08 AM
Without considering the moral side I don't see a reason to vow to obey anymore.

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Thu 10/09/14 10:21 AM

we are not discussing the moral side , the point here is : why should the female obeys the male's orders - or points of view if you will - while they both have the same sharing in the family establishing nowadays ( i am not only talking about the financial side )





Totally agree!

RealCareBear, those vows were meant to be as literal as it sounds. They come from the days where women had no say in anything really, wasn't even all that long ago, and still the way life goes in several countries around the world.
The days when women were not much more than breading machines, housemaids and good for spreading her legs when her man needed to dump his load.

Sure nowadays you can take these vows less literally, but doing that suggests you aren't taken them serious and/or don't condone. If that is the case, then why vow to obey to begin with? To me a vow is serious. You either mean it, or if you don't, you don't vow.

I don't think I'd vow "till death do us part" either. Because you simply can NOT know. "Till death do us part" basically means that whatever chit someone may throw at you, you're going to put up with, till death do you part.
I could live with the intention till death do us part, but as not the fait accompli.

People take these things lightly, because it has been said for hundreds of years, going back to the days where we didn't have a choice, nor a say in the matter. Now we do, and I feel we should think about what it is you're vowing to, really think about what it means. If you don't, it's a meaningless statement.

I think it was brill that Princess Di had the "obey" think removed from her wedding vows when she married Charles :)

flowerforyou

Ɔʎɹɐx's photo
Thu 10/09/14 10:24 AM

Without considering the moral side I don't see a reason to vow to obey anymore.

lay aside Morals and deal with facts , there is ( or there should be ) total equity between male and female in today's life , thus , the word obey has to be replaced by the word collaborate .