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| Topic: obeying your husband | |
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I should've mentioned she would do the laughing after I regained consciousness. Much more believable :-) |
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the reason I did this topic was I wanted to find out what people really thought about the old vows, and then I got thinking marriages rarely work now something has changed and its obviously women. women have got stronger and can choose for themselves what they want to do with there lives what jobs if they have children etc. is that wholly a good thing though, yes its good that women gave choices I mean im a woman and im glad that Im not being persecuted for having children out of wedlock, but have some things that have changed, changed for the worse. marriage used to mean that the both of you would be together forever you married because you wanted to spend the rest of your lives waking up with each other, arguing and then making up the good old fashioned way ;) having children together and watching them grow together while the both of you grew old but happy together. marriage meant each having roles that you stuck to so your home ran smoothly and the wife would (if she was)be happy that she could depend on her husband to watch over her and the kids, love them and provide. when he gets up early for work she would get up with him to make sure he had a good breakfast and she did that because of love because he sacrificed sleep ins and long weekends to make sure the bills were paid and the wife and kids had everything they wanted. a lot of women say I wouldn't do that now. but because we have the choice to do that or not does that not mean a married couple even ones that have taken the old vows are actually equal in the marriage, and because of the freedoms offered to both now instead of just the man doesn't that mean they both can choose to completely give themselves over to the other( and if the man tries to live a moral and good life and is not selfish)knowing she will be protected and loved along with any children they have. just a thought what do you think.
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I think the same but it's hard to find good man who get's it these days. It's not just the women who have changed. Men want too much now and without responsibility. Now that women work so much men think it means they can sit around and hang out while the woman does everything.
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...marriage used to mean that the both of you would be together forever you married because you wanted to spend the rest of your lives waking up with each other, arguing and then making up the good old fashioned way ;) having children together and watching them grow together while the both of you grew old but happy together. marriage meant each having roles that you stuck to so your home ran smoothly and the wife would (if she was)be happy that she could depend on her husband to watch over her and the kids, love them and provide. when he gets up early for work she would get up with him to make sure he had a good breakfast and she did that because of love because he sacrificed sleep ins and long weekends to make sure the bills were paid and the wife and kids had everything they wanted... You have a very romanticized version of What Marriage Used to Be. Yes, divorce and single-parenthood IS more prevalent today...but it has little to do with Folks Back Then Loved Each Other Bigger and Better Than ANYone Can Today. Yes, some people did fall - and stay - in love, for life. But, many, many, MANY people married for convenience and/or stayed together because society frowned on singledom - for both women AND men. Women entered into and stayed in loveless marriages, because there was no other option; men entered into and stayed in loveless marriages "because that's what was expected". Frequently, gay men married simply "to pass". Throughout history and throughout cultures, including as recently as the 1950s in the U.S., many, MANY men carried on affairs...either with their wives' blessings or with their wives turning a blind eye. You can *blame* the Sexual Revolution, which began when the Victorian Era ended and the concept that women could actually enjoy sex began taking hold. It really took off with the advent of The Pill in the 60s, when women could begin exercising their right to have as active - and varied - a sex life as men had been doing for generations, without fear of getting *caught*. We won't even get into how modern day feminism has ruined womanhood, men, and all of mankind, forevermore. 
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I think the same but it's hard to find good man who get's it these days. It's not just the women who have changed. Men want too much now and without responsibility. Now that women work so much men think it means they can sit around and hang out while the woman does everything. 
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...marriage used to mean that the both of you would be together forever you married because you wanted to spend the rest of your lives waking up with each other, arguing and then making up the good old fashioned way ;) having children together and watching them grow together while the both of you grew old but happy together. marriage meant each having roles that you stuck to so your home ran smoothly and the wife would (if she was)be happy that she could depend on her husband to watch over her and the kids, love them and provide. when he gets up early for work she would get up with him to make sure he had a good breakfast and she did that because of love because he sacrificed sleep ins and long weekends to make sure the bills were paid and the wife and kids had everything they wanted... You have a very romanticized version of What Marriage Used to Be. Yes, divorce and single-parenthood IS more prevalent today...but it has little to do with Folks Back Then Loved Each Other Bigger and Better Than ANYone Can Today. Yes, some people did fall - and stay - in love, for life. But, many, many, MANY people married for convenience and/or stayed together because society frowned on singledom - for both women AND men. Women entered into and stayed in loveless marriages, because there was no other option; men entered into and stayed in loveless marriages "because that's what was expected". Frequently, gay men married simply "to pass". Throughout history and throughout cultures, including as recently as the 1950s in the U.S., many, MANY men carried on affairs...either with their wives' blessings or with their wives turning a blind eye. You can *blame* the Sexual Revolution, which began when the Victorian Era ended and the concept that women could actually enjoy sex began taking hold. It really took off with the advent of The Pill in the 60s, when women could begin exercising their right to have as active - and varied - a sex life as men had been doing for generations, without fear of getting *caught*. We won't even get into how modern day feminism has ruined womanhood, men, and all of mankind, forevermore.
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No. - Audlove515 
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No. - Audlove515
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I would not promise to OBEY anyone if I had my choice. My idea of marriage is "joining two people as one" so I would I would more be obeying what was in the best interest of both of us but I just would not want to make my partner "obey" me any more than I would be comfortable having to obey him as a separate entity of authority.
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Edited by
fleta_n_mach
on
Wed 10/08/14 02:56 PM
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No. - Audlove515
short and to the point. I agree. I would just be repeating myself in this thread. cont... |
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Edited by
mrld_ii
on
Wed 10/08/14 02:59 PM
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but is that not tarring every man with the same brush. there are good men out there, they are hidden well with the men who use women and treat them badly but they are there. some things from the past are bad and not worth repeating but other things well... you say a lot of women were not happy in those marriages back in the day, well I know that is true, the women then and a lot now did not and do not have a choice they are stuck. and now marriages don't last because its so easy to just separate and get divorced even with all the battles along the way custody money etc. what im talking about is a new age of marriage where choice is there from the start and you choose to be dedicated to each other for life sticking to your roles and having a steady balance. I am not "tarring every man with the same brush"; it's sociological and historical fact. ..."Though marriage has ancient roots, until recently love had little to do with it... "...[from the 9th century on] monogamous marriage was very different from the modern conception of mutual fidelity. Though marriage was legally or sacramentally recognized between just one man and one woman, until the 19th century, men had wide latitude to engage in extramarital affairs, Coontz said. Any children resulting from those trysts, however, would be illegitimate, with no claim to the man's inheritance. "'Men's promiscuity was quite protected by the dual laws of legal monogamy but tolerance,�� basically enabling, of informal promiscuity,' Coontz said. "Women caught stepping out, by contrast, faced serious risk and censure..." You might find the other 12 facts about the history of marriage equally interesting... http://www.livescience.com/37777-history-of-marriage.html 
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but is that not tarring every man with the same brush. there are good men out there, they are hidden well with the men who use women and treat them badly but they are there. some things from the past are bad and not worth repeating but other things well... you say a lot of women were not happy in those marriages back in the day, well I know that is true, the women then and a lot now did not and do not have a choice they are stuck. and now marriages don't last because its so easy to just separate and get divorced even with all the battles along the way custody money etc. what im talking about is a new age of marriage where choice is there from the start and you choose to be dedicated to each other for life sticking to your roles and having a steady balance. I am not "tarring every man with the same brush"; it's sociological and historical fact. ..."Though marriage has ancient roots, until recently love had little to do with it... "...[from the 9th century on] monogamous marriage was very different from the modern conception of mutual fidelity. Though marriage was legally or sacramentally recognized between just one man and one woman, until the 19th century, men had wide latitude to engage in extramarital affairs, Coontz said. Any children resulting from those trysts, however, would be illegitimate, with no claim to the man's inheritance. "'Men's promiscuity was quite protected by the dual laws of legal monogamy but tolerance — basically enabling — of informal promiscuity,' Coontz said. "Women caught stepping out, by contrast, faced serious risk and censure..." You might find the other 12 facts about the history of marriage equally interesting... http://www.livescience.com/37777-history-of-marriage.html
[/quote its true marriage was and still is for some horrible, and a lot of people were hurt, but we have changed as a society and I think marriage can work if the mind set is right |
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its true marriage was and still is for some horrible, and a lot of people were hurt, but we have changed as a society and I think marriage can work if the mind set is right
Again, you have a very romanticized idea about what marriage is; it probably comes - in large part - from your realization about just how tough being a single parent is, with just a touch of rescue-fantasies thrown in for good measure. Good luck to you...I hope you DO find that person with whom you can have a successful, happy, and love-filled marriage; actually, I hope that for everyone. Today, more than ever, having one IS simply a matter of choice.
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if you were getting married now to the man you love would you choose to say the traditional vows. if you said yes to the first question would you live by those vows for the rest of your life. would you for the rest of your life honour, respect and obey your husband. From wikipedia... Traditional Anglican marriage vows from the Book of Common Prayer... Groom: I,____, take thee,_____, to my wedded Wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth. Bride: I,_____, take thee,_____, to my wedded Husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey, till death us do part, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I give thee my troth. Then, as the groom places the ring on the bride's finger, he says the following: With this Ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow: In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen. No, I would not take the TRADITIONAL marriage vows.... |
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its true marriage was and still is for some horrible, and a lot of people were hurt, but we have changed as a society and I think marriage can work if the mind set is right
Again, you have a very romanticized idea about what marriage is; it probably comes - in large part - from your realization about just how tough being a single parent is, with just a touch of rescue-fantasies thrown in for good measure. Good luck to you...I hope you DO find that person with whom you can have a successful, happy, and love-filled marriage; actually, I hope that for everyone. Today, more than ever, having one IS simply a matter of choice.
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see even God... says women should obey man.... now the big guy can't be wrong..can he...hmm.. God must be a man... because he is sooo..right..
 
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not really I don't need to be rescued from anything ive personally wanted a balanced marriage since I was a kid because in the right circumstances and I do know of some quite a few actually that have had and still have amazing balanced marriage's with no cheating or abuse. I personally think you seem very angry about marriage I wonder if that's due to yours not working out ?. Ummmm...several of your posts in this thread, alone (as well as in other forums) do NOT suggest you desire "a balanced marriage"; just your pondering as to what's so bad about "obeying one's husband" negates that. Your personal feelings about how I feel about marriage AND about "(mine) not working out" are completely incorrect and without merit, but I'll bet those facts won't stop you from continuing to feel that "(I am) very angry about marriage...due to (mine) not working out". Again, I provided you with a hotlink (you need only push a button) to a beginning point to become familiar with the factual history of marriage and the role it's played in society; by becoming familiar with the facts, you may change your opinions. Or, not. Again, best of luck to you.
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see even God... says women should obey man.... now the big guy can't be wrong..can he...hmm.. God must be a man... because he is sooo..right..
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not really I don't need to be rescued from anything ive personally wanted a balanced marriage since I was a kid because in the right circumstances and I do know of some quite a few actually that have had and still have amazing balanced marriage's with no cheating or abuse. I personally think you seem very angry about marriage I wonder if that's due to yours not working out ?. Ummmm...several of your posts in this thread, alone (as well as in other forums) do NOT suggest you desire "a balanced marriage"; just your pondering as to what's so bad about "obeying one's husband" negates that. Your personal feelings about how I feel about marriage AND about "(mine) not working out" are completely incorrect and without merit, but I'll bet those facts won't stop you from continuing to feel that "(I am) very angry about marriage...due to (mine) not working out". Again, I provided you with a hotlink (you need only push a button) to a beginning point to become familiar with the factual history of marriage and the role it's played in society; by becoming familiar with the facts, you may change your opinions. Or, not. Again, best of luck to you.
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see even God... says women should obey man.... now the big guy can't be wrong..can he...hmm.. God must be a man... because he is sooo..right..
Nahhhhh...God never said any such thing; no one has ever heard the voice of God, as being on the receiving end of it would surely destroy us. Everyone who's watched Charlton Heston's portrayal of Moses knows that. Even Jesus (allegedly) said: "And the Father himself, who sent Me, has testified of me. You have neither heard His voice at any time, nor seen His form" (John 5:37) Men, who wrote The Bible after being *inspired by God*, wrote that women should obey man. Go figure. You probably meant "men who are *inspired by God* can't be wrong". *cough*JimmySwaggart*cough*JimBakker*cough*JimJones*. 
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