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| Topic: How long are you willing to stay in an unhappy marriage? | |
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Just wondering what your thoughts are... how long do you try to save the marriage before actually calling it quits? In my situation, I've been married for almost four years, but before that, we dated for about 3.5 years. He has a lot of personal issues that he's supposed to fixed, he always gets started in fixing them, but will stop and go back to doing them. I guess I am at that point where I am tired, my patience is running out, and I don't see myself dealing with it longer. He also has insecurities with how much money I make more than him, that he sometimes treats badly (nothing physical, just the way he talks to me, or handles me).
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when you dont want to go home because you know whats behind the door
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When it's easier to walk away, than it is to stay...
It's time to call it quits. |
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Just wondering what your thoughts are... how long do you try to save the marriage before actually calling it quits? In my situation, I've been married for almost four years, but before that, we dated for about 3.5 years. He has a lot of personal issues that he's supposed to fixed, he always gets started in fixing them, but will stop and go back to doing them. I guess I am at that point where I am tired, my patience is running out, and I don't see myself dealing with it longer. He also has insecurities with how much money I make more than him, that he sometimes treats badly (nothing physical, just the way he talks to me, or handles me). zero minutes. life is way too short. Time is the fire in which we burn, how long would one willingly be miserable? for me? Gone in sixty seconds. |
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Edited by
Leigh2154
on
Tue 09/02/14 03:53 PM
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Just wondering what your thoughts are... how long do you try to save the marriage before actually calling it quits? In my situation, I've been married for almost four years, but before that, we dated for about 3.5 years. He has a lot of personal issues that he's supposed to fixed, he always gets started in fixing them, but will stop and go back to doing them. I guess I am at that point where I am tired, my patience is running out, and I don't see myself dealing with it longer. He also has insecurities with how much money I make more than him, that he sometimes treats badly (nothing physical, just the way he talks to me, or handles me). This is not a question you can ask another...Only you can decide if and when to end your marriage...I will say two things....If, after nearly 7 years, your husband has not addressed his personal issues, there is a better than average chance he is not going to ...and....If you married him on his promise to change, shame on you...Good luck Bella.... 
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i really think you answered your own Que
you said I guess I am at that point where I am tired, my patience is running out, and I don't see myself dealing with it longer. so its time to go |
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Edited by
m3k4y
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Tue 09/02/14 04:07 PM
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Letting go s hard..but sometimes holding on s harder...
How long..?zero minutes..if possible..  
Goodluck..
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Makes sense. :)
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Thank you every one for your responses. Every one has a good point.
I guess, in some sense, I feel like he needs me which made me stayed. I am a very loyal person, hence, all my previous relationships are long term. This is my first marriage though, and it's definitely harder than I thought. I didn't think that Divorce is an option for me, but I am starting to see the light. |
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Just wondering what your thoughts are... how long do you try to save the marriage before actually calling it quits? In my situation, I've been married for almost four years, but before that, we dated for about 3.5 years. He has a lot of personal issues that he's supposed to fixed, he always gets started in fixing them, but will stop and go back to doing them. I guess I am at that point where I am tired, my patience is running out, and I don't see myself dealing with it longer. He also has insecurities with how much money I make more than him, that he sometimes treats badly (nothing physical, just the way he talks to me, or handles me). 
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I go 40 days and 40 nights.....and if I don't see a sign from God then I will call my lawyer.
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Just wondering what your thoughts are... how long do you try to save the marriage before actually calling it quits? In my situation, I've been married for almost four years, but before that, we dated for about 3.5 years. He has a lot of personal issues that he's supposed to fixed, he always gets started in fixing them, but will stop and go back to doing them. I guess I am at that point where I am tired, my patience is running out, and I don't see myself dealing with it longer. He also has insecurities with how much money I make more than him, that he sometimes treats badly (nothing physical, just the way he talks to me, or handles me).
He already spoke to our church priest, and for a moment, I thought he's enlightened. In a blink of an eye, he's back to his old self. |
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Just wondering what your thoughts are... how long do you try to save the marriage before actually calling it quits? In my situation, I've been married for almost four years, but before that, we dated for about 3.5 years. He has a lot of personal issues that he's supposed to fixed, he always gets started in fixing them, but will stop and go back to doing them. I guess I am at that point where I am tired, my patience is running out, and I don't see myself dealing with it longer. He also has insecurities with how much money I make more than him, that he sometimes treats badly (nothing physical, just the way he talks to me, or handles me).
He already spoke to our church priest, and for a moment, I thought he's enlightened. In a blink of an eye, he's back to his old self. In that case, we gve all the advice but the last decision will be all yours because it was you who are in situation. But before go to a final decision always remember that God is always their to lead us in every confusions. God bliss!
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Do you think that he knows this is where your head is at? That is if he hasn't already read your profile??
There is a lot of good and ambivalent advice on here already except to talk to him directly and let him know what is on your mind if you have not already of course! You have been together for some time before getting married, I should suppose there are some things that you did and maybe still do like about him? D is quite final? |
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People mature and grow, sometimes together, and sometimes not. It's nice to be with a person who gets and loves you unconditionally. Isn't that what you deserve?
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Can't really say when you should give up and walk away.. That is up to each individual and what is going on..
Myself with my ex I stayed two years hoping things would change..Thought they were going to but did not happen so I walked away... With the last bf I was with I gave it 6 months..... Once you have done it the first time you tend to do it sooner on the ones after that... A person can only do so much... before they have to throw in the towel and walk away... |
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Can't really say when you should give up and walk away.. That is up to each individual and what is going on.. Myself with my ex I stayed two years hoping things would change..Thought they were going to but did not happen so I walked away... With the last bf I was with I gave it 6 months..... Once you have done it the first time you tend to do it sooner on the ones after that... A person can only do so much... before they have to throw in the towel and walk away... I think because we get smarter! We learn that it's not worth being with people who don't treat us with kindness, love, and respect.
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Do you think that he knows this is where your head is at? That is if he hasn't already read your profile?? There is a lot of good and ambivalent advice on here already except to talk to him directly and let him know what is on your mind if you have not already of course! You have been together for some time before getting married, I should suppose there are some things that you did and maybe still do like about him? D is quite final? He knows what I am thinking of because I am always vocal about my feelings. I don't sit around and just cry, I tell him right away. I am naturally a caring and affectionate person, so I guess through the years, I always try to understand what he's going through. I am in my early thirties now, and I started thinking if I want to waste any more of my years dealing with this situation. |
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Can't really say when you should give up and walk away.. That is up to each individual and what is going on.. Myself with my ex I stayed two years hoping things would change..Thought they were going to but did not happen so I walked away... With the last bf I was with I gave it 6 months..... Once you have done it the first time you tend to do it sooner on the ones after that... A person can only do so much... before they have to throw in the towel and walk away... I think because we get smarter! We learn that it's not worth being with people who don't treat us with kindness, love, and respect.
I agree with both of you ladies. It gets easier. I had an 8-year relationship from high school through college, and he cheated on me once and i let him go and never looked back. I guess this time it's different because we are married. |
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I know what you are going through...
I've been there... It is hard but sometimes you have to do what right for you... If you are exhausted by the situation, then maybe its time to stop carrying him and nurture yourself... I left it too late and it took me a long time to heal... It is hard but you are just as important as he is... |
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