Why is it hard to find someone u been looking for? someone u really click/connect with..wants the same things as u do..same personality etc..

Because they are few and far between, most people select someone with a degree of faults and we compromise to accept them......to find someone that is 100% compatible is a rare thing indeed.

Keep trying though they are out there.

Welcome newbie if you join in the forums I think you will have a much better chance of finding what you are searching for.

It's not hard :)) it's really easy but first you must to stay and thinking if this is an good place where you can find what you are looking :P

Rina74 "Looking for a gentleman with class..."
Age: 41 to 48
Live within 100 miles
NOT seeking an intimate encounter
NOT married



good luck

alright. I used stealth mode for about 10 mins,tryn to be all selective an **** and para tryn not to totally offend womens sense of harbour. Then i thought " What's the use, if say when I'm in public and smile at a person , I don't always expect a smile in return but there are no underlining motives other than to doff ones respect. Simple as. At least on this , theres no dirty trigger poised, primed and pointed at your head. civil convo with other humans.As the rain ebbs and the blue day reveals itself...The greatest of joy, to one and all "

Nothing good comes easy....be patient,the best is coming your way!

The answer of experts;
As you get older the choice gets narrower but that's just quantity. And the numbers are not important here. You only need one person, just one -�� and there is always more than one willing, ready and close by.
The main reason you can't find him or her at any age �� is your belief that it's hard or impossible to do it, and that you don't deserve it now, here, just the way you are.
Once you start believing there is enough choice, there is enough potential partners, there is enough love in the world for each and every one of us at any age, finding your right partner will become a viable reality.
One of reasons is our criteria – we add more conditions to our list of potential partner qualities as our experiences and maturity teach us what we want and don’t want from someone.

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Expectations can be very high. Try and see if the idea in ur mind is pragmatic more than romantic: to find someone real. Many times I read,"I want someone funny, outgoing, smart...". Some smart people may not be all that sociable. So they maybe funny, smart and somewhat sociable... but not all the way "outgoing." Finding a person that matches requires patience, determination, understanding and clarity from the person looking... are you clear on the characteristics u want?

The last thing u read of profiles with "clear" characteristics is "it has to be local." lol UR limiting ur own chances. People move all the time. It happens.

And if u find a person that fits ur life well, why not move? What's keeping u?

Disclaimer: all questions are rhetorical. lol

Patience is a virtue....i think once you aren't looking they just fall right into your lap.....that's how it was with me...just be open and don't just depend on the internet to find someone and your success rate will be much better....

a lot of wounded people out there---i believe most are scared to risk----for good reasons i might say

because attraction is not a choice ( not a conscious one anyway )--- to validate limiting beliefs and

recycle favorite feelings ---- when things do not go perfect most put the blame ''out there'' and do not

work on seeing there part so they are doomed to repeat---for growth we must have some self-

awareness--what we are looking for in simple terms is our '' imago match '' --- every person was born

with a beautiful natural child inside-- very few of us escape being wounded growing up because we are

faced with making decisions we are not ready to make as a child about ourselves,others, and life ---that

little boy or girl in us is where are feelings and emotions come from---good luck in finding your

''imago match''---our imago match is the best chance to heal the wounds---

Times have changed, we have much to select from, we also are more independent and great on our own.
Then the Materialism has grown and with that we have high expectations from
possible future partner.

In my opinion if you truly open yourself up and want some one, this person will
appear in your life, when the time is right, but you do not get to decide when the time is right.
Also I personally do not like woman , that need someone to make them happy.
You should master you way around , learn to be you and that special person will be in your life, when the time comes.
I am not saying you want somebody to make you happy. I know you just want to be
hold and spend time with. I just in general have observed that there is allot of those woman that seek another person to live life for them. So but hay, we all
are on a journey...

It's not.
Just everything else in your life is easy.
Most of westernized life is just choosing which store carries what you want.
You're essentially trained to expect their "should" be a place you can go that will hand you choices that will fulfill your perceived need.
Where you can just buy it, go home and enjoy it.
It's premade. There should just be some sort of "click" or "spark" or "chemistry" that communicates that it's "right" and basically notifies you of ownership and right to wallow in it.

Relationships and people don't really work like that and individuals will constantly fight being treated like that.

Relationships are constant work. What makes them "easier" is your innate biological processes that you're "supposed" to be aware of, understand, value, and use to help you bond with someone in your efforts.
They offer information. But a lot of people simply let their emotions rule them. e.g. if you have "red flag dealbreakers" you're more than likely letting your emotions rule your decisions.


You seem to be asking two questions here.
I'm not sure which one you "really" meant.

1. "Why is interpersonal, romantic, social communication so difficult?"
Because you've specialized in your communication. Career, education, community. You've chosen to learn how to communicate in ways that are totally different and possibly incompatible with the type of communication you actually want.
Most people in westernized society know how to communicate in 3 ways.
1. Me me me. Individual, my perspective, all about me and what I see.
I want a real man, I don't want a one night stand, I want someone that clicks.
2. They they they. What does that group want, what does society want, what do women want, what do men want, what do the cops want, government sucks, old people are irrelevant.
3. Cost cost cost. What do they want from me to get what I want. What do I have to know, think, act like in order to get money, a grade, attention. If there is not something in it for me, if the cost is too high, I'm gone.

That leaves less room to learn "who is that other person."

2."Why can't I just find the male version of me? A male extension of my ego?"
Because you are unique.

Thanks for the kind words and support

Separated with teens.

A big turnoff for many men.

I'd do a gal with those qualities. Just nothing serious or long term.

Good luck anyhoo

Thanks...thats true...just like that other saying "good things come to those who wait"

Yes thats true ..i agree..u seem to find it when your not looking..Thanks..

Do wish ya best of luck
keep your head up , they could just be around the next corner and you not even know it : )

Thanks...and by the way, i saw your pics and u did the right thing by cutting your hair off..u look much better

I really enjoy reading every ones answers.Such great people on here.
Seriously just imagine you ask this question somewhere in a bar
just one person. You get one answer.
Where on here vie the Internet you get a ton of information to work with.
How freaking cool and educational is that , he?
I mean you who made this post, if you read all the responses to your message, you should deep think about it and never ask this question again.
I just love the Internet for this. I have learned additional today also something ,thanks to all of you.
Just love it.