This year I was engaged to a man who I am still deeply in love with. We were perfect for each other, yes we did have little tiffs but doesnt everyone. He is kind, considerate, a hard worker, a wonderful lover, a loyal friend, and an amazing father.

However, people that were around me, friends mainly, critized him and mine's relationship. We have a large age difference. He is 18 years my senior. My friends did everything to try and break us up, and eventually, I am disheartened to say that the pressure worked. I broke off our engagement in April.

Two weeks after no phone call from him, I called him apologizing. However, he was at work and could not answer. The next day I got a lenghthy text message telling me what happened. After I left him he was upset and a few friends were going to Las Vegas so he went and wound up having a few too many drinks and got married to a good friend/ex girlfriend.

I was crushed. Simply put. We didnt talk again until July. I called him because I was missing him. He asked to see me, but I wouldnt because he was still married. We didnt talk the rest of the summer.

A few weeks ago, he called to see how I was doing and how I was liking New York (I am orginally from Michigan, but he is from Poughkeepsie New York). He told me that his divorce was being finalized, and he wants to see me in October.

I am just confused as to should I see him again? I love him more than anything, but there are several new men in my life. I really dont know what I am asking, I just wanted someone to listen or at least act like it. Thanks

Really think about what U want. Do u want your x-fiance back despite of your feelings for him? Or do you want these other guys. Really think about it and its up to u girl, its YOUR life and YOUR future. U choose who is a part of it and who isn't.

Well, i would say follow your heart and your gut instinct from what i understand you can never go wrong. I hope the best for you!!

That is so true, you do make the choice in your own life. Just wish all of us could be brave in that area.

ok here goes. i would not see him.

he does not seem to be very stable if he would do a "Britney Spears Vegas weekender". just not quite long term material there. it is really too bad - but it would seem to have worked out for the best. you live and you learn.

develop your new friends and take your time. don't be pressured.
find someone who is great and stable for the long haul!

You must have fell in love with him for a reason. Obviously the age difference was not a factor to you. If you still love him, then I would be with him. The decision is ultimately YOUR's. I hope it works out for you....

That was a good point also!!

Did he annual the marriage?
If not- there is your answer...
Develope friendships with these other guys.
You may find something better.

dear blueeyedanomaly, I think his behavior over the last several months says all that needs to be said.
so he's 18 yrs older than you-but how old are you?
if you're 20something then he's 40something, you are both in completely different phases in life...and if you are both 'on the same page', then you need to have serious questions about his maturity.
please do not take offense, but really, what does a man have in common with a woman nearly 20 years younger.
yes, it is your life and your future...that's why you owe it to yourself(and your future potential) to really get it!
if he married someone safe after you broke up with him, and now he's divorcing after you called to express your love, he sounds desperate. like he's not able to be alone with himself. that doesn't bode well for a healthy relationship.
you may find yourself completely responsible for this man's happiness-that's a huge burden to carry.
please be smart and take your time. if you are that attached to this man, take time to figure out why.
your future depends on it.

NO one is drunk enough to just go and get married. I think he was getting even with you for dumping him, just a thought. You broke his heart and he broke yours and it is clear that there is no real hope for this relationship if the two of are playing these types of games, tit for tat. If you are seeing other guys then see if you can find someone who really loves you because if he loved you marring someone else was a funny way of showing it, drunk or NOT.

OP !!!!

From reading your profile, I guessing he's 36 years old, while you are 18 years old. First, I'm under the impression that he posses "No Maturity" at all, second I feel you are to young for marriage, especially with someone like him. At your age, he and you have nothing in common, you really need to "Re-Visit", your feelings for him.

Yes, we all make our "Choices" in life, some with excellent outcomes and others.......well !!! At your age, "Marriage" should be one choice that you should put off for the moment. Try thinking of your future, like "Collage", meeting "New People", "Employment", and so on for now.

I hope you are a good swimmer, because the water is getting to deep, and the sharks are looking for dinner !!!!

Good Luck...............Benz !!!

that is a hard place to be. Do not know what you have for faith, but for me I would be praying about the situation. It will become clear to you what you need to do and will be able to live with that decision. Take your time.

This is one shady situation. Do you take everything he tells you at face value? Don't let him pull anything over on you, think for yourself. You are young and he knows it, he may be using it to his advantage and you will be stuck with someone you wished you had stayed away from. Good luck, hopefully you will figure this one out.

If your only 18 NOW! how old were you when you met him?
Did you move to NY to hook up with him??

It doesn't sound like a smart move no matter what the deal.
He is in a totally differnt stage in his life.

I made the mistake of marrying a guy my mom's age, not a good thing at all...