BTW ANYone can look up their first posts :-)

This discussion thread is aimed at Mingle2 members who have been here for at least a year.

Do you remember your first posts on this site?
Would you say the same things over again under the same circumstances?

Or do you think back to those posts and go "Why did I say that?" ?

How about the way that you originally introduced yourself to the other members? Were you satisfied with it, or did you want a do-over?

If you were to start over in this site, would you do anything different?

.omg.. what rock have I been living under.lol

obviously didn't work we're on to you.. it's just a matter of time..

Love? that elusive word. What does it really mean to love someone? is it a feeling? is it those fleeting 'butterflies' that are there one minute and gone the next? is it that intense desire that lurks within us when we see 'the one'? what does it truly mean to love someone? I can only tell you what my definition is. The way i've loved and learned. So if it is worth anything to anyone out there here you go. I beleive love is more than a feeling, it is more than butterflies it is more than lust. Love can only be defined through experiences. Love is work, love is a commitment. To truly love someone you have to be truly committed to it. I have had the oppurtunity to demonstrate love to the one i love most in this world. From the beggining i have done my best to demonstrate love. I met her while she was living at home. Controlled by a militant father no opinion she had of herself was ever good enough. I'd like to think i rescued her from it. She had no self esteem, i gave her confidence by showing her how really beautiful she was. I had my ups and downs with family butting in. I was torn between ones i've taken advice from and this thing they call love it was a battle but i overcame in the end. But during this battle their were injuries as there are in every battle. This injury being an emotional scar on my heart for you see while I was fighting to be on one side, she slept with another. But this i overcame and took her back in, i loved her i wanted to be with her. She seemed that the battle had taught her a lesson as well. I guess that was not so. 3 years later i married her, after much encouraging on her part and on the part of my own family(i had won them over to my side)i joined the navy and she waited for me througout boot camp. I even post poned being promoted to move to D.C. which was her childhood home. Well i guess not all battles are final for you see when i went away again to build a home, again she found another only six weeks after our vows. The wound in my heart not only opened up again but exploded. I've never felt so betrayed. But seeing that we were in a new place i thought we could have a new beggining as well. So i forgave her for that too, but it changed my attitude a little. I was no longer the giving, giving type. I still tried my best to show her i loved her, but i ask for her to prove her love to me. But what i had asked her to do hurt her, and i never knew until recently. I never wanted to hurt her. I loved her. But we all make mistakes and i made a mistake too. I became friends with a older women, a very homely older woman. Wanting desperatly not to put the same pain on my love that she had placed on me. But at the same time hurting so bad and having someone else telling me i didn't have to hurt like this. Well i fell. I let her seduce me. I thought i found a way out, a way where i wouldn't feel the pain i had been feeling. Well i realized she wasn't the one i wanted at all. I still loved my wife. So i told my wife. She selflessly returned my forgiveness and we have been rebuilding ever since. I thought the construction was nearly complete. Until i went on a deployment with the navy. You see i knew my wife needed someone around so i moved my little brother in. My brother would never do anything bad against me so i knew he was a safe choice. However, My wife decided she like my little brother more than me, my brother however didn't return the feelings and is actually quite mad that she had them to begin with. Well she is leaving me now, packing her stuff up and running. She says i've hurt her too bad, but she says this as she hangs on to me for dear life. She says she's happier without me so I'm letting her go. I've loved her in every way i can think of. But if i'm no longer what makes her happy than she can go. I still wish i was the one that made her happy though. But her happiness is more important than my own. The moral of the story you ask? well love is work, its not butterflies it's a commitment on two peoples behalves. It's loving someone enough to stay when your hurt, its loving someone enough to be mad, but to forgive. But if two people don't each commit to love then it will never be. You can love someone all you want and be committed to love and to building a house. But if only one of you is building your still only going to end up with half a house and without both halfs of a house all you have is a pile of wood no matter how nicely it is stacked. Well that is my story and my definition of love