Hi! I've recently reactivated my profile here on the mingle site. I tried this for a while last year, and got zero success. It's been a long time for me since I was out on a date, or even entered the "dating pool", so I'm probably somewhat out of practice.

I was married for a long time, got divorced, and then went through a long, slow period of working through a lot of issues, which I now have done. So, I'm ready to try this again. But my question is, is being a "nice guy" an unattractive quality? Is it a fault or a detriment? Because I don't know how else to be. Maybe it's a case of trying too hard, but is it a bad thing I want someone else to be happy, no matter what? I used to have this platonic female friend who would criticize me for being "too kind". Even my own mom, a long time ago, said I was "too good" for my own good. What does that even mean? I've had exactly one substantial relationship in my life, and even when it imploded, I took the high rode out of decency and wound up getting messed up in the process.


So I guess what I'm asking is: Do women not like nice guys any more? Do they want someone who's kind of a jerk? Because I don't think I could be that. Just wondering what some of you all might have to say about this.

no, they don't... treat them like chit, make them happy...

the operative word in the title of the thread is 'too'

if there is a 'too' in front of anything it signifies an excess, which is usually not attractive

balance is attractive, where there is not too much of one or the other, but a tolerable balance between the two

we women are diverse and like different things

sure, some go for scum

but some go for confidence (that they sometimes happen to see in scum}

still others go for shy

and others, anything that has a handsome paycheck or a fit body and handsome face

,,,the possibilities seem endless,

calling someone 'nice' is the highest compliment I can pay.

Nice is never a fault....Trying too hard can put people off because it can become burdensome...When your mom told you you were too good for your own good, she was trying to protect you from being taken advantage of, I'm surprised you didn't/don't understand what your mother meant...I can't speak for others, but I ONLY like nice guys and pretending to be nice does not count...Welcome back Matt!!...Luck, love, and happiness!

I was once told that I was "too nice" when I asked a girl out. I said "what do you want, should I slap you around, treat you like crap?" The funny thing is, girls from other schools and towns who took the time to get to know me, went out with me because I was nice, and knew how to treat them with love. Women, you can't live with 'em,...Pass the beer nuts. Just kidding ladies!

I agree with msharmony. Everything is fine in moderation.