When I was little lets say my mom was out doing bad stuff and my dad has a lot of hate towards my mom which I hate. Also he says and does things that hurt me alot. Why does my dad say things that hurt me or do them? Like ever kid I see in clermont drives,except me...... Also he said something basically about doing my friend, that was the end of it right there..........you don't say that type of stuff about 16 year old teenagers...

For the parents out there do you know why my dad says the stuff like he does? basically he always says mean stuff?

points out I did move out for a whole summer and when I came back he got nicer, but now hes back to the old way. He seems to be a really big evil dad compared to everone I talk to. I hate to say that about my own dad but its true. I can't understand my dad and I don't think I ever will

"When I was little lets say my mom was out doing bad stuff and my dad has a lot of hate towards my mom which I hate."

Humans can be broken. It would be great if your father could get over it, but maybe he never will. Tell him when he does things that hurt you, don't attack him, just inform him.

"For the parents out there do you know why my dad says the stuff like he does? basically he always says mean stuff? "

I don't know your father...it could be that he loves you but is judgemental of your actions. Maybe he doesn't know how to compliment and support you. You will have to communicate with him and let him know how you feel.

"Also he said something basically about doing my friend, that was the end of it right there..........you don't say that type of stuff about 16 year old teenagers... "

Maybe he's a pervert or maybe he was trying to bond with you. Without meeting him, I can't answer that question. It's hard because fathers have a tendency to try to become friends with their sons, rather than remain fathers. I agree that what he said was completely inappropriate, but maybe he is just misguided and not a deviant.

Hello Dooby,
Your father need to see somebody for his anger,,, I know what you are going throw, I'm a single mother, I felt my childrens father after 13 years of being with him,,, He had a hand problem with me, And a very nasty mouth, I delt with for a long time cause it was my children dad, But honey If you really need to talk to some body, You should talk to your school counselor, They will be able to help you more than I or anybody eles here,,,

I don't go to school anymore. I graduated High School at least.

Do you have a free clinic by you or maybe a church setting,,,
That you would feel comfortable to talk to some body close to home,,,

tryed that too. We went up north a week ago and he saw all the nice people and relized that he needs to be nicer. For some reason though it isn't working. I wonder if games effect thinking?

spyder i would have to say that you gave some very

good advice and some very viable points


imagine that

What kind of games are you talking about,,,,

I am so sorry your Dad is so mean to you...

I had a Dad much the same way- to this day he is still mean.
I do not know why some people are that way.

I would suggest you talk to someone- like a pastor in a Church. What he said about your 16 year old friend was just wrong...

Whatever you do... do not think it is something wrong with you-
because it is'nt. Some people just don't get it- that they can
hurt other people with their action's and word's.

It sound's to me like both your parent's are hurting. They seem to be taking it out on others.

There are alot of great people here to talk to also- if you need
an ear.

well there may be a factor from both that effect this outcome


maybe he is over critical (good chance)


but you mat also be oversensitive as well (fairly reasonable
possibility by not wanting to disappoint him like other
disappointments in his life)

so maybe just maybe mind ya

don't be so critical

and may he won't be neither

but also follow spidys advice and some time when yer just around each other calmly discuss it -- in a professional manner

"tryed that too. We went up north a week ago and he saw all the nice people and relized that he needs to be nicer. For some reason though it isn't working. I wonder if games effect thinking? "

Now I'm going to ask for trouble...

From a Christian perspective, humans can change, but without the help of Jesus, we always fall back to our previous behavior. Perhaps a Bible reading time and going to church would help your father make the changes he needs and desires to make.

You didn't mention or give out any details of the 'Games'
I hope I'm not thinking the wrong things here.
If these 'Games' were the '.........' sort of games, then it isn't right in any sense of the word.
Parents should be there to assist, teach and ensure that their kids have the correct upbrining. NOT to abuse them.If you have been physicall or mentally abused then you should seek advice and help immediately. The pschcological effects can be very disturbing. If neccessary, although it may be against your better judgement, talk to a police councellor.

If you feel you want to talk about it elswhere. PLEASE Feel free to mail me.

Tom

True is what I think. Instead of siting at home on the computer playing shooting games. I think he needs to get out of the house and go do something. What I do not know but I do know when he used to work in the yard when he was younger, he seemed happy. hmmm where would be a good place to get a dad to go with his son??

dooby,

Fishing. Hiking. Camping. You live in Florida, which should be great for fishing and hiking at the least.

Have you showed him "JustSayHi"? Maybe a love interest would help him to change.

Dooby.....I know how you feel. My mom was a very mean woman...would say the most horrible things to me....and I would wonder what I did or why I wasnt good enough for her to make her say those things to me

I took it all in for many years and finally broke down and called my older sister and asked her why our mom was so mean to us......I never cry, so she knew something was up. She called my mom, dad on the phone, gave my mom ****.....I think she finally realized she was being mean for once.

What I did learn, is it isnt you, its them. They are so unhappy in their life that they say mean things to you to make themselves feel better.

Stand up for yourself....don't take their unhappiness to your heart!!!

What I want to know is : Is he a drinker?

Alcoholics are notorious for the devastating comments and diatribes they spout

Nope he don't drink. He smokes though

Oh, man does that bring back some memories. My dad and mom divorced before I was three. I was like a yoyo between the two growing up. Dad was in the service. I idolized him when I was young. Later I was terrorified of him. My best friend was my first stepmom. We were both scared of him. Still keep in contact of her through my stepbrother. When he married my second stepmom who was two years older than me that really screwed with my head. Dad said she was attracted to me. He said to call her mom and to respect her. Was that ever weird. When he took my little stepbrother that they had together across state lines after she had got custody of the baby for five years that really screwed up some more of my thinking. Listening to him rave how bad she was because she took him for everything he got I just laughed my ass off. Finally somebody that has the balls to stand up to you. Really confused when I went with her little sister and she just walked away saying I was just like my dad. I mean what an insult. Was really happy when he married his fourth wife. They got along fine. She was just as mean as he was. It was like a marriage made in hell. It was so beautiful. Did get to spend some quality time with dad before he passed away. He did come to visit me in rehab. I guess the twenty page fourth step of all the reason I had angry against him was just too much of a challenge. I really love the way he brought the letter to me with all the grammatical errors fixed. He tried to get out of the hug that I gave him but he couldn't. I was just too big by that time.

Bottom line, your dad won't change until he sees a reason to and desires that change. Old habits die hard and the meaner the habit, for some reason, the longer it takes to change. Try counseling if you want - there are several self help books if you'd rather go that route. The biggest thing is how you think about yourself and how much of your dad's behavior you've unknowingly sucked up into your own personality - that is the area you can change if desired.

I think you need to sit down and talk to your dad. Some parents don't realize that they are being mean. Maybe he is still in love with your mom and he is a little bitter about the divorce? Its hard moving on when you are still in love with someone.
Do you go to church? If you do and your father does not, maybe you should invite him to go with you. I feel much better after I go to church....so try to get your father to go and maybe he will see a different version of life.
I wish you luck and I hope things change for you. If your father does not change soon...my advice would be to find a job and move out. Or better yet, go to college and live on campus. I think all young men and women should further their education, with out your education life is going to be tough. So, maybe get some info about going to college and then move in there