I never wanted to write this type of post but it's eating away at me and I need to vent

After my divorce in 2012, I NEVER wanted to get married again... still don't really. However, I met and started dating a very handsome, jeans and tee shirt sexy younger guy. I was having fun... 9 months ago, he asked me to marry him and AGAINST my better judgement I said, Yes! Well, 3 months later we are no longer together! I couldn't put up with the lies and deception... such as " falling alseep over his brother's house" or sending me a 2 paragraph text saying he couldn't talk because he was driving.. Really? This one right here, was the final straw!

I know he's a sneaky little weasel... but damn I miss my sneaky little weasel.

I know what I would tell a female who posted this.. " He does not Love you chick, move the hell on"

I've never been on THIS side of the coin... and it really is a lot cloudier over here.

Someone once said " Sounds like I may still be hung up on my ex" I might be, but LORD knows I'm trying NOT to be, he really is NOT a good guy.

I was with someone who was constantly unfaithful before Not my ex wife though for some reason I found it so much easier to cut those ties. but one of the ones that followed. I was head over heals for and I kept on forgiving and trying to forget. All that did was make it acceptable for her to do the things she did to me. It wasn't till I had finally moved on with someone that I was able to put her out of my head and my heart. Don't get me wrong she's still in there but in a different way than before and it always takes two to tango. If I hadn't just let it keep happening to me it wouldn't have continued but I did. I knew it was stupid but the way she made me feel when we were together was such that it was almost like a drug addiction.

Its hard to tell our hearts to leave alone the things that are detrimental to them when they have this habit of touching on the parts that make them feel so good. Its gonna be hard but you have to seriously force yourself away from them and literally cut off those ties that bind.

Best of luck to you in the future Just don't put the"Love" issues out anymore, Seems most are players anymore! Have Fun, you are young but i wish i had used this advice myself "years ago" now prospects are "slim to none" at my age and location!! Too many here are like D C Government (lie,cheat,steal)!! Just put that beautiful on and be "Confuses the he-double-hockeysticks out of everyone around here anyhow"

a DRUG! that's exactly it! All I can remember, when I miss him,is how great we were together! Then I force myself to remember all the NOT so great moments! Talking to other chicks in MY house, staring at this woman's AZZ at a store when he was with me!
I can go on... but it just makes me look worse!

Thanks Gray.. but I'm not as young as I use to be If I would have learned then, what I know now!

I doubt if I would even know his name becauuse our paths would never have crossed !

Hey, be thankful that you didn't already tie the knot.

I know exactly how you feel. I'm to the point now, where I want to feel respected...honored and appreciated. The sex will just be the sprinkles on top. But ya know...my guy was over 350 pounds, I love him but, I guess I wasn't good enough...so he is alone , so to speak...he is married, but it didn't make me love him less. I still think about him every day..miss him, and wonder how he is getting along (BTW, his wife lives in another state, has been for 4 yrs) so I'm not a homewrecker...
But it is an addiction. I don't know what else to call it...

Every day, Dodo, Everyday!

It is some type of addiction! I'm so embarrased to admit it, but I keep thinking deep down, he's going to come to me on his hands and knees begging for my forgiveness and he's going to get counciling for whatever drives him towards this need to have more women in his life or bed ! Truth be told , he could barely handle me and I'm 6 years older than him! I digress.... It's not going to happen and I know this..

The bitter truth for which i am known in mingle2 must be told.Yes members and their far-left views notwithstanding.MARRIAGE IS FOR BETTER AND FOR WORSE.RECONCILE WITH YOU FIRST HUSBAND

Dude... that train has left the station... Time to board elsewhere.

There is no way I would stay or advocate someone else to stay with someone they do not love " romantically" it's cruel.

There will be no reconciling, now or ever. If this is offensive to you so be it... burn a candle for me in remembrance, but let it go.
There are a lot of us DIVORCED people on here.

Don't you think you're moving a bit too fast here?
You only got divorced in 2012 and already said "yes" to a new proposal? And it went horribly wrong, but what do you expect?
It's not that you're not over your ex hubby per say, but you've likely not completely got that relationship out of your system. Those things take time and barely a year or less is not a lot of time at all!

As for falling for a so called bad boy, take the logical, psychological approach (when you feel up to it):
- you got seriously involved shortly after your divorce
- Is your self-esteem near a 100%? Divorces can bruise our egos (which is why you need proper time to recover). If your feelings of self-worth, being confident etc are at a temp low, chances of falling for a man that confirms this, are high.

I'd suggest some soul-searching. Both your feelings after the divorce (sometimes ppl have a unconscious feeling of having failed or, if the partner wanted out, feel rejected and so on), as well as why you fell for this new man.

Apart from all that, I wish you lots of love and Light



Aren't you supposed to be humble? I didn't think true believers were supposed to practice self-revering?
And the bitter truth? ... Nah, I'll shut up. This topic is TeeBee's

Do you really think you are qualified to give Advice on Marriage,On A Dating-Site?

do you know for sure he was not as his brother's house asleep, or pulled over on the side of the rode to text?

if you know those things aren't true that's one thing....either way it sounds like it is just too soon for you ......keep it light. no reason you can't see him till someone better comes along...just no commitments, maybe?

All I can say teebee is get over it. You are worth far better...

Thanks Crystal I was moving to fast with the saying yes! I knew I didn't want to be married again!

But, No.. I've been over the husband for 7 of our 17 year marriage.
I stayed for the kids. He's not a bad man, but I've had no romantic feeling for him for a while before we divorced. I was really afraid of of possibly cheating on him... I NEVER CHEATED ON HIM... but It was getting harder not to notice other men. It was at that point I said" I had to get out"
If I ever hurt him like that.. I could NEVER forgive myself. He is too good of a guy for that!
NOW... I have this situation where this guy was everything else my "ex husband" wasn't, yet he's also NOT a good guy like my ex husband, either!

What's funny... I tried this! I figured he's a liar, so I'll stay around until someone better comes along. It doesn't work for me. When I'm into someone... I'm into them.

Thank you

MoonStruck" SNAP OUT OF IT" !!

My dear teebee. It is a drug of sorts and I get that you know this. I know I stayed with my husband far longer than I should have. My self esteem was in the toilet and I kept thinking I needed to just try harder. Trying to be superwoman, supermom, super-everything only resulted in my losing total respect for him.

That's when I realized I no longer loved him and that all those years I think I was in love with who he could be. The idealized version of him.

The next man that came into my life just blew me away! It was a drug for sure! Getting all that positive attention, the closeness, the intimacy! My ego soared! Then I realized it could almost have been anyone! It wasn't him I fell for at all, it was the ideal of him. I overlooked all his faults and he sure had some doozies! I did this so I could feel good!

I've come to realize my self worth and I do know that I deserve a lot more than that! I'm tired of the lies and deceptions! Not that I'm perfect - far from it! Bu then again, I'm not looking for perfect! I'm looking for someone real!

Teebee, I've read so many of your posts and I know that you are worth a lot more than you give yourself credit for sometimes. I think you need a true best friend and that needs to be YOU! A good friend once gave me that advice. Be a true friend to yourself and listen to what she is telling you!

I know you get it and I know you know what you are going to do! May you draw some strength from your Mingle family while we hold you dear in our thoughts. It's just another stepping stone to something more beautiful. You go girl! I'm on your side!

Thank you dear! and I would agree with you, if he were the 1st or 2nd guy I dated. After leaving my husband I was off to the races! I dated a lot, because I was with my ex husband since I was 17 years old! I was having fun! Ran into " J' shall we call him and it was a wrap! I've NEVER felt that way about my ex husband... which explains why I said " Yes" to the marriage proposal.

You are right, I did look past some/ MOST of " J"'s faults... my eyes are wide open now!

And I'm not ready for a relationship, It did take Mingle to help with that one... I'm just happy to make friends!
My self esteem has always been pretty high... it took a hit when I couldn't understand WHY he couldn't be happy with just me! LOL
Yeah... A cheater is going to cheat regardless of who they are with