For things to work we need responses. Rating profiles is great. Let's take it one step farther. Rate my message. These are actual messages I sent 2 different girls. The profiles didn't say much so I didn't have much to work with. I kept it short and sweet. Would you respond to it? If I don't get a response and I really would like to get to know them I'll wait a few months and try again after that I don't bother any more

Hi I'm Dave Love your pic. I live in Mt.P a little south of Myrtle I'm a good guy ask me anything
Lets talk


Hi I'm Dave how long have you lived here? any ways I'd like to meet you. Feel free to ask me anything
Dave

I'm a Good Guy is a red flag.jmo

I am iffy on the second one...


One of these smart beautiful Minglers will show up soon, and give you some ideas...Welcome

To be honest, I don't really care what a guy says to me in his first email, as long as he's not being a straight up perv or jerk about it, if I like him I'll respond. If he looks good, I'll respond. If I've enjoyed talking to him in the forums, I'll respond. If he's not too far on either side of my age requirements, I'll respond.

On the other hand, if I don't like how he looks, if something on his profile turns me off, if I've seen him make stupid posts or comments in the forums, if he's too old, or too young, or from a place I don't care for (ex. Nigeria or India, or some other states where I'd rather not interact with anyone from there) then I'm not replying to him. I've replied to guys who just said "hi" to me, because there was something about them that I found appealing. Also, I'm very, very picky....

In regards to you emailing them later after they initially ignored you, that reeks of desperation and there's no way I'd respond to someone who did that, unless I wanted to tell him what a tool I think he is.

So basically, there is no "magic message." I don't understand why this is so hard for guys, and some women, to understand. There is no one thing you can say that will make someone want to talk to you. For years I was all caught up with a guy who was a major ****ing *******. I liked talking to him. Why? I really don't know, but I enjoyed our conversations. I didn't care what he said to me, as long as he kept talking. So I really don't know what to tell you.

Nothing wrong with them. This is one of my usuals: "Hello you. Wanna play?"

That phrase always reminds me of the doll from the Chucky movies.

As paintecards01 says, it really depends on the person's interest in you. There's enough in your message that's it's personal and gives them the opportunity to start a conversation if they find something appealing, at the same time you're not investing too much time in a message if you're unsure of how they'd take you.

I, personally, love more input. What I would be turned off by are messages that do seem too desperate. Mentioning in your first message you want to "meet up" would make me feel uncomfortable - I don't know you, you don't know me. What reason would I have at that point to agree to it?

I also have a problem with people repeatedly spouting about how they're "nice guys" and "genuine". If you weren't, would be inclined to admit to it? Of course not, that I would learn from spending time getting to know you.

I hope that helps. Best of luck!

I am so holding my thumb and finger in the shape of a L on my forehead

I'd probably be laughing too much to ever reply if I got a mail like that.....

Thanks I see what to work on

as far as the second message a few months later, from what I understand you women seem to get many many messages from creeps and I think that maybe I was over looked not meaning to sound desperate

I don't get that many emails. So I read all of them, except for the one that had "Will You Marry Me" in the title. I figured that one had earned a place in the trash, unread.

Okay, so now THAT cracked me up.

Actually I might reply to an email that began with that- "I am so holding my thumb and finger in the shape of an L on my forehead."

At least it'd be good conversation starter.

This!!!!

I do decide to respond or not from the initial hello. I don't like "just ask and I'll tell you" that's code for I'll have to drag out a conversation with you

"Anything you want to know ask me." Sounds like something people put in their profiles when they don't really have anything to say.
When you are approaching someone it should be all about her, and in the form of a question so if she responds you are giving her a ready
made topic to talk about.

"Hey, great looking tramp stamp. Where'd you get it done?"
"Hey, that's a really good photo of your gerbil. Did you take it yourself?"
"Hey, I see you're into gourmet foods. Do you have a good ramen noodle recipe?"

Ramen noodles.

Exactly. And then you're sitting there wracking your brain trying to come up with something to talk about, not worth it.

Cool yall This is some good advise Thanks how you see it and what I should change is great.

Your not alone aquaDave. It it's hard to put your personality into words, and even harder to make your first message about her if she doesn't give you much info on the profile...but for us guys that actually think before we write a message, maybe we should chase the ladies that edit thier profile?

I just sent this one, what do yall think?

Hi I'm Dave cute dog, he looks like he's still a puppy. What kind is he? I see you like bikes do you mean motorcycles? I ride an 83 FXRT Harley. I'm born and raised in Mt. P lets talk
Dave

Here's another point that may be handy:

I have just given someone the benefit of doubt by ignoring the bog-standard "Hello, how are you?" message to view their profile. They have one sentence in their description, and it starts with "I'm a bit boring for someone my age..."

Oh yes, I really want to know more! Oh wait... no I don't.

So yes, my advice? Whilst honesty is great, failing to sell your positive traits are not.

* * *

With regards to your last post, Dave. I'd drop the comments like "let's talk". If a person wants to talk, they will. They won't need to be directed to do so.

If I'm really nit-picking, take a little time developing your message. As it stands it's very curt question-answer-question-answer format and would benefit from more of a prose-like approach if you want it to be more inviting, particularly if you attempt to appeal to their senses.

For example:

Hi, I'm Dave!

I love the picture with the dog - he's so cute! Is he still a puppy? Is he a pedigree or a cross? I grew up with dogs so I know how wonderful they are as companions and very good listeners. Do you find yourself telling them all your secrets, or is that just me? My family used to always have smaller dogs like Jack Russels and terriers. If I were to get a dog now though, I'd go for something like a Newfoundland - they're beautiful and I'm sure would make a fantastic snuggle-buddy for these cold, winter nights in! I believe they need a lot of space though...

I read on your profile that you like bikes, is that motorcycles? I ask as I am a big fan! I currently ride an 83 FXRT Harley and my favourite places to ride are down country lanes in the summer. Dorset is great for that as there are lanes that look like archways filled with bluebells and fields full of rapeseed... The smell is intoxicating! Do you ride?

...

I've embellished details with my own experiences, but I'm sure you get the picture. This is the kind of message that I love - ones that have information I can read and be interested by, that give me the impression that conversation will be easy. If people avoid details, I feel like it'll be hard to keep a conversation going however pleasant a person they may be.

I feel people respond better when they can visualise us doing something we both enjoy doing, such as this lady being able to visualise you loving her dog and playing with it, or riding through bluebell archways and past rapeseed fields with you... You see what I mean?

I know it's the kind of message that takes a little more time to write, but hopefully that will come across well as you've taken a genuine interest in them and their profile and you've written about something you're passionate about. They should pick up on that and be more inclined to talk, even if they don't want a relationship.

Best of luck!