nite ppl
thx for ur thoughts and advice

Your right my friend you do deserve a explanation if your feelings were known beforehand,but beware their are people who lie and deceive for sexual gratification,money,power, etc etc.The most important thing is you come away with a lesson learned, relatively unscathed. Your intentions are honorable and your heart is pure I'm sure another woman will see those qualities in you and desire that. Good luck and God bless.

Valid points if the OP's partner said she was making some kind of commitment. That would be despicable. But hardly a shock when instant intimacy occurs. People tell all kinds of pretty lies.

But I have rarely seen personally, or in any other third party conversation that having sex in a one nite stand with someone entitled them to any explanations of what their intentions were. The very nature of acting with out discussing intentions before impulsive sex suggests no intentions exist. Is that a bitter truth? Yea it is painful; especially if one of the participants hopes for more but and entitlement or obligation would that not make sex something other than a choice or even a gift?

What would be the right entitlement? An "after" phone call? "Hello Dear, Thank you for having sex with me. That is all I wanted. See ya." Or would another date or maybe playing him along for a week or a month be better? Or maybe a critique. "Hello Dear, You were great/not so great in the sack and that is all I need. Don't need to chat; you don't mean that much to me." Would a lie make it more palatable Sometimes no response is a response.

Exchange of sex, thankfully, does not constitute enslavement or servitude in our society, it doesn't in the absence of a license and vows constitute consummation a marriage or a relationship obligation, or demand a price that converts it to prostitution.

Would it be nice if both parties respected the other's dignity enough to at least have a polite contact after to follow up?

Yes that would be how I would respond to any date. I agree I too loath treating people like some casual kind of doormat to wipe your feet on. But when it happens you have to cut your losses and collect what is left of your dignity and learn from it.

all I know is that it's her loss

What strikes me as the real issue is the "no reply, no call" afterward...Jose is left without closure, which is really what is hurting him...To expect "having sex" will cement a relationship is immature, but if two people spend time together, even one date, and it leads to having sex and one person does not wish to continue seeing the other, they owe an explanation to the one who does if he or she is still showing interest...It's called common courtesy...Even if she is trying to avoid hurting his feelings, her silence is doing more damage...Damage that could affect his self confidence with someone new...I think she is being extremely careless about another persons feelings...

Sorry, but even if you hold a knife or a gun to someone's head, you can't make them love you. I'm not saying it was right for her to ignore you. Maybe you could get to know a woman better before jumping into bed with her. I've never understood how some can just have sex with a stranger, considering there's no bond between them. Did she promise anything before it happened? If not, then why should she come back? Maybe she was never going to take things further, despite what happened. She is what she is. So are you. Why force anything? Someone tried to force themselve's onto me, which felt wrong, because I didn't feel anything for him. So I told him we could only ever be froends. Never love someone who can't love you back.

I actually have a male friend who got involved with a woman and, as far as was discussed, it was serious. But then she suddenly stopped meeting up or talking to him. Sometimes women are worse than men as they seem to pretend that they're interested in something long-term when they're not, as if they're scared to admit to it, but then aren't even honest about wanting to back off afterwards.

In the future, it might help to discuss what each person wants from the relationship upfront, before you're intimate, or if it's even a relationship at all. And to accept whatever the other person tells you. I've been guilty of thinking, "Oh he'll change his mind" when in reality, he stuck to his guns, and all I had to do was leave him alone. Which I did.

Some people just want to hook up, so if you know ahead of time (assuming they're honest) you can avoid them if that's not what you want.

Good advice.

I would like to add that men have been doing this to vulnerable women for years.

Also, what irks me is if a man takes you out once or twice, I have known some who will suddenly think they own you or that you are engaged or exclusive when that agreement has never been made.

Don't assume things like that. Talk about it. This is reality and we are grown ups.

Hey there..

I feel what you've said... But:

- Most of women having sexual intercourses at the first date are most often not willing to meet and/or continue the relationship. So because, those women cannot overcome the social etiquette else than mind processing it as: I'm not a slut, I was drunk & we had sex. I don't have respect for this guy because he didn't stopped me to do so OR she just wanted to have a good time OR that's a woman who was taught to "reward" men with sex for attention.

And please, Buddy, get your manhood back! You are the Man.. You must lead.. Take decisions.. Show that you have guts and nerves. A woman will NEVER get aroused/interested by a "nice" guy. It's simply not that way in real life.. but Hollywood. If you've heard otherwise, then those people are to blame because they lied to you.

A true Man knows where is going (he got a or many goals). He takes decisions and DON'T ask for approval. He knows what's best and again he DOESN'T ask for approval. He makes the first step to a Woman and all the following ones. He doesn't buy drinks nor flowers nor pay the bill for the restaurant at the first date or at the club/discotheque during the weekend.

If you do otherwise, the woman will discard you because deep inside she doesn't feel respect for you, just pity.. And pity is a BIG turn off for a woman.

You must NOT tell her all your life.. Keep some mystery.. Let her understand that she hasn't deserved all the good "treat" right away... She must "work" for it.. She a "stranger" and you may say your mom told you "that you should never tell a stranger all your life" ;)

Unfortunately, as you didn't know at the time, you let this woman LEAD you to her place. This meant for her that you didn't PLAN anything. You should have had a plan already, knowing that "your place was a mess", which also translates her your mindset & how you "take care of yourself as a MAN" and what kind of "future" she may have besides you (cleaning lady?) ;).

So get back on track, man... Clean your place up.. Buy some good bottles & write to her that she's invited, as she's not answering your calls, to your brand new renovated place to have some chat & nice drinks.

But as the others said: a woman that need alcohol/weed and God knows what else to relax.. Jeeeeez... Dude, you deserve MUCH BETTER than "that"... Imagine if she got pregnant? Is she the kind of "woman" you want for your children? Really?

Cheers up, give my advises a try & let me know!

I agree I hate when women use me as a dildo really jam a battery in my *** lol. Yikes some people are out for just one thing and that is it. I never cared for one night stands but they have happened. Sucks when you get emotionally attached and the other walks away.

If you were baking a cake, would you put emotion into it?

What I'm trying to get at is, sex is just sex. A physical act. Emotional attachment would require more. As in, spending time with the person. To her it was just a good time. It happens to a lot of people.

Amen to the idea that gender does not determine who is the bad seed in situations.

I have seen barely 5' little she-devils slice and dice guys that were gigantic Teddy Bears three ways to Sunday and I have seen guys that had it all and still thought it entitled them to bully their wives and kids in ways that put Hitler to shame.

When people come on here carrying on how someone did them wrong I take it with a healthy dose of doubt. No matter how you tell something there is two sides and then the truth.

No offense, OP. Just that if it was with some stranger you barely got to know, would it really be worth worrying about?

Also she didn't know you planned a future with her inside your head.

All the same, it takes two.

You can only be upset for so long. Unless you turn it into a thing.


I suggest 'Tinder' for now.

I guess ur rt when it comes down to it I'm a nice guy I can't b mean to women my grandmother taught me to respect them as aperson I love deep and care to much and bottom line is I'm a nice guy looking for my nice girl is that to much to ask?? I just want girls to stop taking advantage of my kind nature

I guess ur rt when it comes down to it I'm a nice guy I can't b mean to women my grandmother taught me to respect them as aperson I love deep and care to much and bottom line is I'm a nice guy looking for my nice girl is that to much to ask?? I just want girls to stop taking advantage of my kind nature

I'm with Rawrgirl, I don't see what the problem is really, you hooked up, you had a good time. Now it's over. It's not like anyone cheated. Things end all the time.

I've heard that said in a lot of movies.

Truth is though, all you both had was an exchange of bodily fluids. Was it sympathy sex? Or just "I want you now and can't wait to rip your clothes off" sex? Either way, she wasn't interested enough to stay. I can only give out so much sympathy. One day you'll get over it. We all do. She's already moved on, so why bother worrying about it?

Yes your mother may have raised you to treat women with respect, but a LOT of people say that. Even one's who treat their next lover like crap, because seeming too nice must win prizes. Not everyone will trust straight away, which makes sense. So try not to sound overly-nice. Just saying, it makes some suspicious if you seem TOO nice. Maybe balance that out a bit.