But I feel so damn stupid right now. Walls back up, twice as high and three times as thick. Live and learn.

I'm intrigued now... what happened??

So The discussion is?..you brought it here.

I just let myself care too much and I got burned. It just sucks this was my first "dating" experience after my divorce. 11 years out of the dating game. Guess I forgot...

It happens to the best of us. Don't blame yourself.

Thank you. I needed that

I think the first time after a divorce is the most difficult one. You're rusty and maybe you have expectations or are still influenced by stuff from your relationship (good or bad).
My first date after splitting up wasn't bad, but nevertheless it upset me --> It reminded me of the fact that I'd have to start from scratch again. Things that worked by themselves, the things you automatically understand, the familiar stuff in a relationship, it's all gone. I suddenly really missed all that.

Indeed live and learn. Give yourself a big hug, and don't blame yourself.

Sometimes, after a divorce or a long term relationship ends, it's a good idea to step back and let your heart heal so your mind can clear...Your relationship or marriage ended for a reason(s) and you need to really understand all the whys before throwing your heart in the ring again....When it comes to healing, it's true that everyone has their own time frame, but its pretty safe to say the longer the relationship, the longer the healing time....Be good to yourself Peachy and be patient!....You are the whole package, beautiful, smart, fun, but in a new relationship the man you are with deserves to start out with a clean slate, be sure you can give him that...

His loss. I think a glass of wine and the company of some good friends relaxing to get the bad experience out of your head is in order.

Shows you that,even after 11yrs,you can still get up and walk..that you actually have genuine feelings still!

But,I agree with them..go slow,first enjoy being you as you"regroup"(now,where did I get that word?? )

Sit back,
Someone a m a z i n g will show up one day,and the'll reciprocate yours!

Thanks everyone! I figure almost a year and a half was enough. I let my guard down with the wrong person. It is what it is and it sucks but oh well

Been there too.. ((((hugs))))

Sorry happen to you.

One thing about putting your "ouchie's" up on line it kind of paints a target on your back for all the wolves to see you as the "walking wounded". They know all the right things to get to you when you are feeling down. Rotten meanies. Karma is rough eventually they will get theirs.

Hang tough and draw your Mingle pals close until you get your sea legs. One thing about how big Mingle is there is usually somebody who knows somebody that can help you check things out.

Words of wisdom!

this is a really good point, and probably the core of what has kept me from seriously dating. Right after my divorce I wanted to "rush" that familiar feeling, but in an effort not to appear that way I was probably too distant. Now I don't care so much about the "old familiar feeling" because the perspective of time had allowed me to see the flaws there. Now I just don't want to deal with starting over.....

but I can think of a few times with my last BF when we first got together where I had some "married" expectations....at least I knew enough to keep that to myself, but it was confusing. I'd break up with him because he didn't meet those expectations and I couldn't really explain very well what the problem was. lol. Ultimately when we did break up for good I was just relieved.

Yes, very good advice. I think it will have the opposite effect though, my guard is up, big time. I wasn't going in with any expectations except honesty and respect. Guess that's too much to ask for sometimes. I hate the dating game.

Damn right. You were smart enough to leave him, so you should be praising yourself, not worrying about it :) I have definitely been gullible in the past, but not anymore. Keep your wits about you. Some men think we will buy into just about anything. Well, pah, not me. Let some other woman be his floozy. If she's gullible enough.

Stop caring too much. As of now. . Seem's he was mistaking you for a fool. NEVER feel too sorry for anyone. Even if their situation sound's heartbreaking. You just never know who could be telling you porkies. It reminds me of those fake worldwide charity advertisements, where they try to get you to feel so much sympathy for them, so that you'll volunteer to send them money. Always ask detailed question's. If their details only seem brief, then I'd question how genuine they are really being. And if he can't show you a profile pic on here, then that's enough to doubt whether he really wants what he say's. Some are just on here to play with others feelings. So be very cautious with who you speak to.

It's so hard to find someone you are compatible with, it could take many misses before you get a hit. Don't give up, it's not about you personally but about finding the right person in a sea of wrong.

...And the taste out of your mouth as well



Sorry for your pain...