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| Topic: Anger | |
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I have been hurt so much so many times by the father of my kids, so now i have so much anger that i cant control, im always angry and i hate it so much, coz it has taken over who i am. I get angry over little things, or innocent people. What should i do, i really dnt like what is happening to me
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Counselling for anger management might be a good place to start.
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You have taken a huge step in just admitting that you are angry! Way to go!
Now step 2 is to take action. If you have benefits at work, they may partner with a counseling company. For employees, there is no fee. There are also free counseling through your church or through Family & Children Social Services or even through the YMCA. Ask your doctor - he'll be able to guide you. Or call a call-in crisis centre and they have an abundance of resources available to you. I wish you the very best. Do this for yourself, your quality of life and those of your children. 
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Anger is not a primary emotion but a secondary one. Meaning underneath anger is another emotion. Usually this emotion is hurt, pain, sadness which doesn't/didn't get properly dealt with.
If you feel you can handle it yourself: It can help to release the anger, in a safe way of course, i.e. beat up a pillow (you'll be amazed how what a relief it can be to do so!) and oftentimes you start crying at the moment most of the anger has gone. Anger is a signal of the brain that something is amiss, so don't try to suppress the anger, kind of embrace it, pay heed to it. That alone helps softening it too. If you've managed to release some of the anger (screaming in the woods is also a good one) you might want to think about the 'roots' of it. Sure you're angry with this man, but maybe you're also angry with yourself because you let things happen? Just delve into it and allow whatever you find to just be, don't 'argue' with it. The more you can let the causes of it all just be, instead of fighting / suppressing them, the sooner the anger will dissipate. There are also books on this subject (just Google). If you can not work it out yourself, indeed get a counsellor or coach in.
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Anger is not a primary emotion but a secondary one. Meaning underneath anger is another emotion. Usually this emotion is hurt, pain, sadness which doesn't/didn't get properly dealt with. If you feel you can handle it yourself: It can help to release the anger, in a safe way of course, i.e. beat up a pillow (you'll be amazed how what a relief it can be to do so!) and oftentimes you start crying at the moment most of the anger has gone. Anger is a signal of the brain that something is amiss, so don't try to suppress the anger, kind of embrace it, pay heed to it. That alone helps softening it too. If you've managed to release some of the anger (screaming in the woods is also a good one) you might want to think about the 'roots' of it. Sure you're angry with this man, but maybe you're also angry with yourself because you let things happen? Just delve into it and allow whatever you find to just be, don't 'argue' with it. The more you can let the causes of it all just be, instead of fighting / suppressing them, the sooner the anger will dissipate. There are also books on this subject (just Google). If you can not work it out yourself, indeed get a counsellor or coach in. Well said. |
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I have been hurt so much so many times by the father of my kids, so now i have so much anger that i cant control, im always angry and i hate it so much, coz it has taken over who i am. I get angry over little things, or innocent people. What should i do, i really dnt like what is happening to me
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Thanks so much people, i feel much better now jus with your words and i promise to take an action coz this is eating up on me, mentally and physically.
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