I have not really posted for awhile but would like to hear others point of viewer's sure most of us have some one we talk with quite often and I'm sure some of might have feelings for some one.My own thoughts were that this on line friends or dating site you would never really meet some one you cared about never really meeting face to face just getting to know each other through emails,let alone the miles.But a friend I care about said they believed you can build a relationship slowly by getting to know each other like this by sharing thoughts and views,just like having a cup of coffee only you have never met face to face.So do you or do you not believe you can really build on a relationship like this on line?

I think that sites like this can be a strong basis for getting to know each other and deciding if you want to take the next step. I don't know about people who say they've met and fallen in love on-line, without spending any "actual" time together, though perhaps I'm just a little cynical. I don't think e-mails, IMs, and phone calls can really replace actual face-to-face meetings, I think it's only in actually spending time together can you truly decide whether your relationship can go further. I do think, though, that long distance relationships can work, at least in the short run. But, eventually, something or someone will have to give and you'll need to move to be together or end it. But, that's an individual thing. Some people simply can't imagine doing that or it's way too impractical. Something to think about before you even begin, "Would I be willing or could I, If?"

Yes, I more than believe; I know.
PKH, we have chatted & I felt your pain.
For those that really open their hearts to others, matters not if it be on line, on the phone, or with pen & paper; if you speak from the heart & are being totally truthful, a grand friendship can grow.
It just takes a little time & we can tell if someone is here for friends or just to play with people.
I pity some on this site, for they don't know the time they waste. Time a VERY precious thing. I learned many of my lessons the hard way, hope now to be able to help others from the same stupid mistakes.

It HURTS to learn the HARD WAY.

Does anyone remember pen pals, when they were kids?

The letter in the mail...the cute kid writing squooshed to fit in the space on the envelope?

Was that real? Did real friendships bloom?

This meduim is no different...

and back before we had this luxury, of instant internet connection, whole lives were created, or held together by letters...

My grandmother met her husband, my grandfather, by mail...she kept every letter...held his hand during the first world war....they were ever so polite, but the letters spoke volumes..


So short answer? Yes.

PKH-You know what your heart can take. Long distance relationships can work. My ex-husband and I managed one and got married.

I don't know if you can 'actually' know someone until you do meet face to face. However, that does not mean any feelings that you are having are less than real.

After all, who is further than our own Michael and BonnyMiss? Is their love less true and pure? I think not.

Hugs, M

Look at the site like this an old fashion courtship, and a place to make lifelong friendships. Not to repeat what Jess said but if you go back in history, a good number of relationships started by using the mail, writing to each other, then so on......its a matter of trust, honesty, and communication.

Thats how my last wife and I first met after emails and chat rooms for a year. I wasn't even talking to her that much. Was chatting with her friend. I was in the chat rooms with both of them and was actually going with her friend you might say. She thought the other lady was just leading me on. Each time I was chatting with someone knew and we would just check up on each other from time to time. Finally she asked me if I was tired of all these other women just playing games with me and if I wanted her just to come get her. I worked for eight hours then drove for thirteen hours and then stayed up for eight more hours with then passed out from sheer exhaustion. Within a month we were married for six and half years. It can work if you both want it to.

pkh, i really think a lot of people can form a strong realionship without meeting face to face. Not everyone is visual, most are so that when they meet the perfect person after spending a lot of time chatting they discover that he or she is not so perfect and we start to back off a bit because they are too fat, too skinny, too ugly, too tall, too short. but there are a lot of people who truely follow their heart and not their eyes. unfortunitly there are not enough of those type of people around

Hi Pkh and Everyone,
My thoughts are that it can really work if you want it to.
I felt that nothing will ever come of my relationship with Tiger, but I was wrong after hours of phone calls and e-mails we really felt strongly about eachother. I think it's a way of looking at the inside first and you know them from the heart.
When I went down to Florida to meet him and stay for a week, well I knew then I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.
We both were very skeptical at first because of the 1800 plus miles that were between us, but as we talked more and more we knew there was something special there.
When I got of that plane to meet him I knew that was where I belonged for the rest of my life.
Now I am leaving to live down there with him. He is the most kind, caring and understanding man I have ever met in my life.
My life has been full of pain and anger for a long time but now it is only filled with the love we both share.
((((((PKH)))))) I love this thread and thank you for posting it.

(((((Sage))))))
With this I say thank you to all my friends on here, if it wasn't for you all, with your love and support, I wouldn't be here today (on this sight) You made me not want to give up on me at all. I am glad you were there for me.

I love you all

Michele and Snuggles have hit the nail right on the head. When it comes to relationships, any relationship, communication is a major player.Being open and honest from the start are also a good vantage point to begin your journey.

Sure, I know lots of people will say that a person will only tell you what they want you to hear and know about them,but; shouldn't the same principle be applied for anyone you meet, whether it be on line or from the same city as yourself ?

It doesn't matter how long you know someone, you never truly KNOW that person. One only has to look at the divorce rates and observe how many of those couples have had long engagements or had dated each other sometimes for years, only to end up in a divorce court.

Meeting a like minded other and a willingness to share ( listen to each other ) can also have an impact on a relationship.I suppose we ( Michael and myself) have been called lucky, we both know however, that we are both kindered spiritual souls, with insight and sharpened insctincts ( his is sharper than mine). Sharing laughter, giving respect and being comfortable and confident in ourselves are also elements we share.We've placed God at the head to guide us, with this in place, the element of trust has not been an issue for us.


When it comes to distance, as both of us believe, the world has become a city and in a matter of 24 hours or so anyone is able to travel to the other side of the world.

Thank you all for your thoughts I really neeed to hear them,for Tiger and Fallen and Michael and Bonny you are what gives me hope to believe it can be real.And I really do want to move forwrd and believe that.Everyones thoughts have helped me with this so thanks to you all for sharing them,Pam

When I first came online to this site I didn't really no what to expect like some of us. I was actually shy and it took a little bit for me to post anything. I stayed in the shadows and was checking things out but once I started to post I realized that for me being on the forum was the best place to meet people. So in doing so, it opened me up to the idea of geting to know some of the friends I have today. I can say it's been a real neat experience knowing some of the friends that I have on here and I have yet to meet face to face with them. Although there is a bond with the friendships that I have through this site that I don't think I would of had if I just met them outside of this site. Your friend is right and as time went on and I been on here for a year now. I met my gf on here and she lives over 400 miles away but were doing it and thats because were putting everything we have into it like you should with a relationship. The thing I did find out being on here, is that not alot of people are willing to go all they way so they rather just have friends and this is one place that you can actually meet real people

pkh -- the best relationship I ever had started on a site like this one. I was trying to locate a friend who had disappeared, back in 1999, and someone suggested I go to a certain site and look for people from the town where my friend lived, contact them and see if they might know anything. I thought it was a little bit scattershot, but I figured I had nothing to lose.

One of the people I contacted turned out to be someone that things just clicked with almost immediately. But we took things very slowly (she had been through some truly traumatic experiences in the period just before I contacted her) and it was a number of months before we met in person.

And things clicked even better then.

She was unquestionably the best person I have ever been involved with. I'd still be with her today, if it was up to me, and if I had been foresighted enough to imagine the lengths my ex-wife and her family would go to in order to prevent me from being happy.

The point is, you can meet someone on line and build something meaningful. I don't think it's easy, but it can be done.

I have to add, though, that I have met eight other people who I first talked to on line, and all eight were absolute train wrecks. There is something to be said for caution!

But is it possible? Sure. I think a lot of it is a sort of "luck of the draw," a timing thing where the right person just happens to be in the right place when you're looking there, or when they're looking there.

To be honest, that (and the fact that there is no possible way for me to meet anyone in person where I live) is really the only thing that keeps me on these sites at all!

Well, that and the llamas....

there is a will, there is a way pam,

Yes you can build on it but one must met face to face to bond that relationship and see if the connection is actually there just because you have that connection and that deep feeling for them there is no guarantee once you meet it will be there. At times some of us and I have been guilty of it we jump to conclusions let our emontions over run our hearts and ignore the red flags.If you have a gut feeling someything is wrong then 9 0ut of 10times its wrong check out your gut feelings to the extreme if needed. Meaning even if you have to do a background check better safe than sorry you don't have to let them know but if it calms your suspicions then do it better safe than sorry after your heart is too far into it and it brings your self esteem down.

Thanks to all of you.I'm trying to get over things and move forward but sometimes it's hard to let some one really in again.

Oh, PKH, open that beautiful heart of yours. Otherwise, you will never know all the good things out there to fill it. Take baby steps if necesary!

Hugs, M

Thanks Michelle i really appreciate it,hugs to you to.

pkh yes open your heart dear...

we never know who is out there!

I'm trying MsTedy