Hi! I'm new to the site and new to dating again after my 8-yr marriage ended, but that's a different story.
I'm a 2-yr breast cancer survivor. I am very nervous about dating because I went through a double mastectomy during my course of treatment. Although I've completed breast reconstruction, I'm not the same for obvious reasons. I feel like I'm ready to move forward with my life but am extremely nervous about talking to future dates about my history. I know that it will need to come up eventually, but I'm self conscious and scared of potential reactions. I know any person worth having wouldn't hold that against me, but still. When is the appropriate time to approach a subject like this one?

Telling personal medical information is best done when you feel it is the right time to share.

As a person just getting used to a new health issue I think I would take my time and be very selective about who I told because get real some people can be really stupid how they react to something that one would hope would be handled with grace and maturity but that is not always true.

While you may feel that you are alone in this the fact that millions of families have been affected by breast cancer and tremendous strides have been made in public education you may find it less of an issue than you expect.

I have found that being low keyed and giving people a heads up whether if is a lapel pin, wrist band, survivor t-shirt in a picture just gets the info out there and there is little or no need to make a big revelation conversation about it.

One thing I will guarantee you is there are plenty of great people it will not matter one whit to so just go on and live your life. Have a blast dating. Welcome to Mingle.

Great for you, lady!

And truly brave.

I am happy you survived and not afraid to tell your story!

Bless you, honey.

Why should your double mastectomy be a problem for any man?

This is coming from a man who looks like a cartoon character question his credulity. Your concerns are best met in counseling so you can learn the appropriate boundaries and social skills needed to move gracefully from personal and private to sharing aspects of yourself not ready to offer.,..

IMO, the lady is free to share what she wishes, when she desires.

What business is it for anyone to attempt to control her by telling her what is or not appropriate?

Only a control FREAK would put down a FREE woman. Or, would you still have them barefoot and knocked up?

Wow, what ad hominem. My question is valid no matter who asks it.

Can understand your difficulty and insecurity about this.
But I think you gotta bear in mind you are not cancer or a pair of breasts. You are a woman that happened to have had breast cancer and has now recovered. (don't mean that to be crude, but it's a different mindset)
As you're insecure (and understandably so) I wouldn't mention it too soon. If you were to get negative or even crude reactions, it will make you feel more insecure. You can do without that, what you need is positive experiences so you start feeling strong(er) again as a woman.
I think you should just go out and enjoy having some dates. Not every date leads to a more serious thing, so no real need to worry about telling or not. But dating might help you to get your confidence back. Maybe treat yourself to some really nice bras to feel real feminine. Even if no one gets to see it, you will know and feel better for it!

I think you will know when the time is right to tell. Probably when it feels good, when you've met several times and it feels like it's going somewhere.

Good luck and don't forget to feel good about yourself!

Agreed I dated a breast cancer survivor. It made no difference to me, because this woman was awesome:)

As or the OP. You are correct. I someone holds it against you about your past. They're are not worth your time. Gently ask a few questions on the first date. 50 questions can be fun, intriguing, and break a lot of ice on the first date. IMO.

Hey. I learned a lot from watching cartoons

The best time to bring it up is whenever you are talking about yourselves or the potential partner is asking questions about you. It should be early (but not the first moments!) in your relationship.

If it is an obvious negative to him, you haven't wasted much time on someone you really don't need to be with anyway. Be thankful for the minimal wasted time and move on.

A true man will see your heart, not the skin covering it.

Congrats on being a cancer survivor, I am also a cancer survivor. I think you will know when to tell someone, it will just feel right. IF they can not accept it, then you are better off with out them. Dating is very hard any way, but you will be shocked on how many men will say something like, wow I wish I was there when you were going through this.
Just be yourself and don't worry about it...it will all happen naturally. Again, Congrats for beating cancer!! God Bless!!!

I agree about telling the guy after you've really gotten to know each other and are sharing intimate details about life. After it's obvious that the relationship is really going somewhere. As with anything personal, why give up so much information with someone you'll never see again.

And congrats on surviving such an ordeal. I hope you find what you want.

Double post.

If I was in your shoe's, that experience alone would make me want to live it up. Why let illness get you down? Regardless of what you went through, I'm sure you're still the old you. I know cancer is no minor thing. What I'm saying is, grab life by the horns. Glad you got through it all the same ;)

I agree, the you that you once we're is in there somewhere I suggest finding her then finding a man then everything will fall into place. Your a string woman so don't let insecurities change that, good luck in your endeavours