Topic: Marriage is Outdated
littlesmexy's photo
Mon 09/09/13 12:19 PM

I do believe in marriage, but not the way it is construed. I think the "till death do us part" bit is out of date. And I'd never ever go for the "obey" part either.
I also prefer the old pagan way, not cos I wanna walk around stark naked by the way, lol. What a world that would be! At least we wouldn't have to ask anyone's size no more :laughing:

Personally think monogamy is one of the problems. Having to love only the one person for half a century or more, only be intimate with that one person, I get depressed even thinking about it. Is it fair, natural, logical to demand this of people?

We've all been reared to feel hurt,
upset, rejected if a partner strays. If you think about that: we HAVE BEEN reared ... meaning drilled, brainwashed. Who the h*ck done that to us???

As this subject has come up several times here, I'm currently re-assessing my vision. It ain't easy, as I also have been reared to get hurt and upset if my partner strays. But logical brain asks: Why????
If he (or I for that matter) share a physical moment, does that mean I love my partner any less? Not necessarily ...

Maybe if this bit was somewhat more pagan, marriages wouldn't fall apart so easily either ...

Food for thought, this subject


I like your views! Personally, I never believed man, or woman, were meant to be monogamous! There are too many avenues of choice for our species. In my opinion, the only reason religious teachings adamantly taught marriage, and monogamy, was to prevent the spread of disease in an infantile civilization. There are many who would argue this with me. At any rate, I believe we've outgrown marriage. Even those who have been married long term, seem to be looking for ways to evolve their relationship. Not everyone, but there are couples out there, saying, "Is this all there is? "

msharmony's photo
Mon 09/09/13 01:59 PM
saying man is not meant to be monogamous is like saying women are not meant to work outside the home

people are capable of what they are capable of,,many are more than capable of committing to someone and others aren't


the problem isn't expecting monogamy, it is being dishonest about whether or not one is capable of it,,,

Toodygirl5's photo
Mon 09/09/13 02:04 PM
I know people who still take marriage seriously! Marriage will never be outdated, because that is the way it was at the beginning of time. There is always people. who will value marriage.

msharmony's photo
Mon 09/09/13 02:05 PM

I know people who still take marriage seriously! Marriage will never be outdated, because that is the way it was at the beginning of time. There is always people. who will value marriage.




and wisdom,,


flowerforyou

Kleisto's photo
Mon 09/09/13 02:18 PM

I do believe in marriage, but not the way it is construed. I think the "till death do us part" bit is out of date. And I'd never ever go for the "obey" part either.
I also prefer the old pagan way, not cos I wanna walk around stark naked by the way, lol. What a world that would be! At least we wouldn't have to ask anyone's size no more :laughing:

Personally think monogamy is one of the problems. Having to love only the one person for half a century or more, only be intimate with that one person, I get depressed even thinking about it. Is it fair, natural, logical to demand this of people?

We've all been reared to feel hurt, upset, rejected if a partner strays. If you think about that: we HAVE BEEN reared ... meaning drilled, brainwashed. Who the h*ck done that to us???

As this subject has come up several times here, I'm currently re-assessing my vision. It ain't easy, as I also have been reared to get hurt and upset if my partner strays. But logical brain asks: Why????
If he (or I for that matter) share a physical moment, does that mean I love my partner any less? Not necessarily ...

Maybe if this bit was somewhat more pagan, marriages wouldn't fall apart so easily either ...

Food for thought, this subject


I agree with you......and not just cause I have so much energy anymore that I'd prefer a more open relationship. I honestly believe the way we view relationships and marriages is so rigid that it lends itself to cheating. Not everyone wants or is cut out for a one to one monogamous marriage. Some are and that's fine if it works for them, but for others they end up having to try and be someone they're not.....and they inevitably fail and end up cheating because who they are attempting to be really is not them.

This is why I believe that many relationships end in divorce now.....people are not able to be who they want to be, or express freely what they need in the relationship and from their partner, and these desires manifest behind their backs. If they could be able to be honest and upfront from the start, these issues would never come up you know?

Everyone needs something different, we are not all the same. If we were able to articulate the things we needed ahead of time with someone.....we'd be better equipped to make a good choice of a mate and a lot less likely to end up in a relationship we are not happy in, and a lot less likely to divorce. The ones who want monogamy, will find that, and the ones that want something else will find that. I do think in recent times there has been a shift towards such openness.....but there remains a stigma against people who reject the traditional norms. We have to stop this nonsense that everyone has to do the same thing, the ideology doesn't work, and is in fact harmful in my opinion, particularly if you don't fit in with the majority.

It's all about communication though in the end in a relationship.....if you can't do that openly there will be problems.

Kleisto's photo
Mon 09/09/13 02:20 PM
Edited by Kleisto on Mon 09/09/13 02:20 PM

saying man is not meant to be monogamous is like saying women are not meant to work outside the home

people are capable of what they are capable of,,many are more than capable of committing to someone and others aren't


the problem isn't expecting monogamy, it is being dishonest about whether or not one is capable of it,,,


which goes back to the societal pressures of expecting everyone to be the same that I just spoke of. If we stopped trying to put everyone in the one box, things would be different than they are and everyone could more easily get what they need.

msharmony's photo
Mon 09/09/13 02:40 PM


saying man is not meant to be monogamous is like saying women are not meant to work outside the home

people are capable of what they are capable of,,many are more than capable of committing to someone and others aren't


the problem isn't expecting monogamy, it is being dishonest about whether or not one is capable of it,,,


which goes back to the societal pressures of expecting everyone to be the same that I just spoke of. If we stopped trying to put everyone in the one box, things would be different than they are and everyone could more easily get what they need.


I don't agree society causes the problem

there is no stigma anymore in remaining single, so there is no excuse to feign commitment if one is not going to actually physically commit


there is sound reason to expect those engaging in sexual activity (heterosexual) to be monogamous due to the potential to create new lives, who study after study have shown to do better with both parents committed to their family

sex is not just a thing we HAVE to do, its something that brings with it ENORMOUS potential consequences and responsibilities,, that is why it is BEST and should be touted as BEST not to just spread ourself around being lead by our penises and vaginas

who people 'are' is only defined by whom they decide they are going to be,, there is no limit beyond that

and some people will choose to forever test different waters, which is their prerogative if doing so responsibly and not bringing innocent children into the equation

and some choose to commit to each other , in which case they are giving a much more sound foundation to those children they may bring into the equation,, and, quite honestly, just a deeper stability and bond with being that permanently, intimatelyy connected to another person in this world,,,

Kleisto's photo
Mon 09/09/13 02:47 PM
Edited by Kleisto on Mon 09/09/13 02:48 PM



saying man is not meant to be monogamous is like saying women are not meant to work outside the home

people are capable of what they are capable of,,many are more than capable of committing to someone and others aren't


the problem isn't expecting monogamy, it is being dishonest about whether or not one is capable of it,,,


which goes back to the societal pressures of expecting everyone to be the same that I just spoke of. If we stopped trying to put everyone in the one box, things would be different than they are and everyone could more easily get what they need.


I don't agree society causes the problem

there is no stigma anymore in remaining single, so there is no excuse to feign commitment if one is not going to actually physically commit


But maybe some people want to be with someone and still have fun in addition......this is the problem, we have a society where people are forced to decide between all or nothing, and maybe some want something in between. Such people should not be effectively cast aside and made to be either suffer alone or be someone they're not with someone else just because others see fit to judge them because they don't go along with the norm.

msharmony's photo
Mon 09/09/13 03:36 PM
Edited by msharmony on Mon 09/09/13 03:37 PM




saying man is not meant to be monogamous is like saying women are not meant to work outside the home

people are capable of what they are capable of,,many are more than capable of committing to someone and others aren't


the problem isn't expecting monogamy, it is being dishonest about whether or not one is capable of it,,,


which goes back to the societal pressures of expecting everyone to be the same that I just spoke of. If we stopped trying to put everyone in the one box, things would be different than they are and everyone could more easily get what they need.


I don't agree society causes the problem

there is no stigma anymore in remaining single, so there is no excuse to feign commitment if one is not going to actually physically commit


But maybe some people want to be with someone and still have fun in addition......this is the problem, we have a society where people are forced to decide between all or nothing, and maybe some want something in between. Such people should not be effectively cast aside and made to be either suffer alone or be someone they're not with someone else just because others see fit to judge them because they don't go along with the norm.


and nothing stops those people from finding each other and doing just that,,,


msharmony's photo
Mon 09/09/13 03:36 PM




saying man is not meant to be monogamous is like saying women are not meant to work outside the home

people are capable of what they are capable of,,many are more than capable of committing to someone and others aren't


the problem isn't expecting monogamy, it is being dishonest about whether or not one is capable of it,,,


which goes back to the societal pressures of expecting everyone to be the same that I just spoke of. If we stopped trying to put everyone in the one box, things would be different than they are and everyone could more easily get what they need.


I don't agree society causes the problem

there is no stigma anymore in remaining single, so there is no excuse to feign commitment if one is not going to actually physically commit


But maybe some people want to be with someone and still have fun in addition......this is the problem, we have a society where people are forced to decide between all or nothing, and maybe some want something in between. Such people should not be effectively cast aside and made to be either suffer alone or be someone they're not with someone else just because others see fit to judge them because they don't go along with the norm.

navygirl's photo
Mon 09/09/13 04:36 PM

To heck with marriage. I say live single, have many partners (safely of course), keep all your money, pay your taxes and create a good retirement fun. You do all that and you do not run the risk of some chick (or dude) taking your crap. Live in the now. :thumbsup: tongue2 :laughing:


laugh

navygirl's photo
Mon 09/09/13 04:41 PM


I do believe in marriage, but not the way it is construed. I think the "till death do us part" bit is out of date. And I'd never ever go for the "obey" part either.
I also prefer the old pagan way, not cos I wanna walk around stark naked by the way, lol. What a world that would be! At least we wouldn't have to ask anyone's size no more :laughing:

Personally think monogamy is one of the problems. Having to love only the one person for half a century or more, only be intimate with that one person, I get depressed even thinking about it. Is it fair, natural, logical to demand this of people?

We've all been reared to feel hurt, upset, rejected if a partner strays. If you think about that: we HAVE BEEN reared ... meaning drilled, brainwashed. Who the h*ck done that to us???

As this subject has come up several times here, I'm currently re-assessing my vision. It ain't easy, as I also have been reared to get hurt and upset if my partner strays. But logical brain asks: Why????
If he (or I for that matter) share a physical moment, does that mean I love my partner any less? Not necessarily ...

Maybe if this bit was somewhat more pagan, marriages wouldn't fall apart so easily either ...

Food for thought, this subject


I agree with you......and not just cause I have so much energy anymore that I'd prefer a more open relationship. I honestly believe the way we view relationships and marriages is so rigid that it lends itself to cheating. Not everyone wants or is cut out for a one to one monogamous marriage. Some are and that's fine if it works for them, but for others they end up having to try and be someone they're not.....and they inevitably fail and end up cheating because who they are attempting to be really is not them.

This is why I believe that many relationships end in divorce now.....people are not able to be who they want to be, or express freely what they need in the relationship and from their partner, and these desires manifest behind their backs. If they could be able to be honest and upfront from the start, these issues would never come up you know?

Everyone needs something different, we are not all the same. If we were able to articulate the things we needed ahead of time with someone.....we'd be better equipped to make a good choice of a mate and a lot less likely to end up in a relationship we are not happy in, and a lot less likely to divorce. The ones who want monogamy, will find that, and the ones that want something else will find that. I do think in recent times there has been a shift towards such openness.....but there remains a stigma against people who reject the traditional norms. We have to stop this nonsense that everyone has to do the same thing, the ideology doesn't work, and is in fact harmful in my opinion, particularly if you don't fit in with the majority.

It's all about communication though in the end in a relationship.....if you can't do that openly there will be problems.


Now this is so true. Wish more guys thought like you. You are very wise. :thumbsup:

Kleisto's photo
Mon 09/09/13 04:53 PM





saying man is not meant to be monogamous is like saying women are not meant to work outside the home

people are capable of what they are capable of,,many are more than capable of committing to someone and others aren't


the problem isn't expecting monogamy, it is being dishonest about whether or not one is capable of it,,,


which goes back to the societal pressures of expecting everyone to be the same that I just spoke of. If we stopped trying to put everyone in the one box, things would be different than they are and everyone could more easily get what they need.


I don't agree society causes the problem

there is no stigma anymore in remaining single, so there is no excuse to feign commitment if one is not going to actually physically commit


But maybe some people want to be with someone and still have fun in addition......this is the problem, we have a society where people are forced to decide between all or nothing, and maybe some want something in between. Such people should not be effectively cast aside and made to be either suffer alone or be someone they're not with someone else just because others see fit to judge them because they don't go along with the norm.


and nothing stops those people from finding each other and doing just that,,,




The way the culture is set up though doesn't exactly make it easy for them. As I said it's beginning to change, but we are still predominantly dominated by the monogamous w/that lifestyle pushed onto others in the process even if they don't desire it.

KinBarrie's photo
Mon 09/09/13 04:55 PM
Edited by KinBarrie on Mon 09/09/13 04:57 PM


To heck with marriage. I say live single, have many partners (safely of course), keep all your money, pay your taxes and create a good retirement fun. You do all that and you do not run the risk of some chick (or dude) taking your crap. Live in the now. :thumbsup: tongue2 :laughing:


laugh



Just remember after living your hedonistic lifestyle,
and on your deathbed, that the "live in the now" Life
is short ways of living won't get you a ticket to Heaven.

Yeah, life is short. However, the soul is eternal
and living a short life of sin, isn't worth an
eternity in hell.


And you could, at the very end, start to repent
and ask Jesus for forgiveness.I'd just advise that
you do it in plenty of time before you go. And mean
everyhing that you confess to Jesus, sincerely.

You don't listen or believe what I say. Only you
can save yourself. I can just spread the message.

Kleisto's photo
Mon 09/09/13 04:55 PM



I do believe in marriage, but not the way it is construed. I think the "till death do us part" bit is out of date. And I'd never ever go for the "obey" part either.
I also prefer the old pagan way, not cos I wanna walk around stark naked by the way, lol. What a world that would be! At least we wouldn't have to ask anyone's size no more :laughing:

Personally think monogamy is one of the problems. Having to love only the one person for half a century or more, only be intimate with that one person, I get depressed even thinking about it. Is it fair, natural, logical to demand this of people?

We've all been reared to feel hurt, upset, rejected if a partner strays. If you think about that: we HAVE BEEN reared ... meaning drilled, brainwashed. Who the h*ck done that to us???

As this subject has come up several times here, I'm currently re-assessing my vision. It ain't easy, as I also have been reared to get hurt and upset if my partner strays. But logical brain asks: Why????
If he (or I for that matter) share a physical moment, does that mean I love my partner any less? Not necessarily ...

Maybe if this bit was somewhat more pagan, marriages wouldn't fall apart so easily either ...

Food for thought, this subject


I agree with you......and not just cause I have so much energy anymore that I'd prefer a more open relationship. I honestly believe the way we view relationships and marriages is so rigid that it lends itself to cheating. Not everyone wants or is cut out for a one to one monogamous marriage. Some are and that's fine if it works for them, but for others they end up having to try and be someone they're not.....and they inevitably fail and end up cheating because who they are attempting to be really is not them.

This is why I believe that many relationships end in divorce now.....people are not able to be who they want to be, or express freely what they need in the relationship and from their partner, and these desires manifest behind their backs. If they could be able to be honest and upfront from the start, these issues would never come up you know?

Everyone needs something different, we are not all the same. If we were able to articulate the things we needed ahead of time with someone.....we'd be better equipped to make a good choice of a mate and a lot less likely to end up in a relationship we are not happy in, and a lot less likely to divorce. The ones who want monogamy, will find that, and the ones that want something else will find that. I do think in recent times there has been a shift towards such openness.....but there remains a stigma against people who reject the traditional norms. We have to stop this nonsense that everyone has to do the same thing, the ideology doesn't work, and is in fact harmful in my opinion, particularly if you don't fit in with the majority.

It's all about communication though in the end in a relationship.....if you can't do that openly there will be problems.


Now this is so true. Wish more guys thought like you. You are very wise. :thumbsup:


Well thanks, I like to think I am pretty smart even if others don't always understand how I think. flowerforyou

Kleisto's photo
Mon 09/09/13 04:56 PM



To heck with marriage. I say live single, have many partners (safely of course), keep all your money, pay your taxes and create a good retirement fun. You do all that and you do not run the risk of some chick (or dude) taking your crap. Live in the now. :thumbsup: tongue2 :laughing:


laugh



Just remember after living your hedonistic lifestyle,
and on your deathbed, that the "live in the now" Life
is short ways of living won't get you a ticket to Heaven.

Yeah, life is short. However, the soul is eternal
and living a short life of sin, isn't worth an
eternity in hell.


And you could, at the very end, start to repent
and ask Jesus for forgiveness.I'd just advise that
you do it in plenty of time before you go. And mean
everyhing that you confess to Jesus, sincerely.

You don't have to take my word for it. Just my two cents.


Oh boy.........you do realize this isn't a religious section right?

msharmony's photo
Mon 09/09/13 04:58 PM
Edited by msharmony on Mon 09/09/13 04:59 PM






saying man is not meant to be monogamous is like saying women are not meant to work outside the home

people are capable of what they are capable of,,many are more than capable of committing to someone and others aren't


the problem isn't expecting monogamy, it is being dishonest about whether or not one is capable of it,,,


which goes back to the societal pressures of expecting everyone to be the same that I just spoke of. If we stopped trying to put everyone in the one box, things would be different than they are and everyone could more easily get what they need.


I don't agree society causes the problem

there is no stigma anymore in remaining single, so there is no excuse to feign commitment if one is not going to actually physically commit


But maybe some people want to be with someone and still have fun in addition......this is the problem, we have a society where people are forced to decide between all or nothing, and maybe some want something in between. Such people should not be effectively cast aside and made to be either suffer alone or be someone they're not with someone else just because others see fit to judge them because they don't go along with the norm.


and nothing stops those people from finding each other and doing just that,,,




The way the culture is set up though doesn't exactly make it easy for them. As I said it's beginning to change, but we are still predominantly dominated by the monogamous w/that lifestyle pushed onto others in the process even if they don't desire it.


bottom line,, people want to do whatever they want and insist everyone else be happy about or promote it

that's not life

but it still does NOTHING to stop people from doing wh at they want to do,, with their bodies and their lives

msharmony's photo
Mon 09/09/13 04:58 PM






saying man is not meant to be monogamous is like saying women are not meant to work outside the home

people are capable of what they are capable of,,many are more than capable of committing to someone and others aren't


the problem isn't expecting monogamy, it is being dishonest about whether or not one is capable of it,,,


which goes back to the societal pressures of expecting everyone to be the same that I just spoke of. If we stopped trying to put everyone in the one box, things would be different than they are and everyone could more easily get what they need.


I don't agree society causes the problem

there is no stigma anymore in remaining single, so there is no excuse to feign commitment if one is not going to actually physically commit


But maybe some people want to be with someone and still have fun in addition......this is the problem, we have a society where people are forced to decide between all or nothing, and maybe some want something in between. Such people should not be effectively cast aside and made to be either suffer alone or be someone they're not with someone else just because others see fit to judge them because they don't go along with the norm.


and nothing stops those people from finding each other and doing just that,,,




The way the culture is set up though doesn't exactly make it easy for them. As I said it's beginning to change, but we are still predominantly dominated by the monogamous w/that lifestyle pushed onto others in the process even if they don't desire it.

KinBarrie's photo
Mon 09/09/13 05:09 PM
Edited by KinBarrie on Mon 09/09/13 05:24 PM


Times have changed, and for the worst. People now
are selfish, lustful or just don't have the patience
to stay married anymore. Divorce rates I'm sure are
the highest they've ever been.

Sorry, but I think that's absolute BS! Have you ever read anything about the new times, the New Golden Age and so on? Then you'd understand it's not at all for the worst. It only seems that way if you're stuck in the old ways and/or fear the new and/or haven't really read anything about what's going on with mankind.
This is the dawning of the age of Aquarius and we're going through times of change, big changes at that!
We've had centuries of being told how to live, what to do, when to do it and so on. Now we get more and more responsibility ourselves and the freedom to choose. Meaning we have to learn how to deal with this new responsibility and freedom. It's a huge step, happened quite fast as well. Look back 2 generations and this freedom wasn't there at all. Well, not really anyways.
So quite understandably we are simply fumbling our way through, learning and trying to find a new balance. And this is for the better, not the worst!!

These things will take time, it's a major learning curve, not just of the individual, but of mankind.


That new age stuff is illuminati propaganda. It's the big satanic bigwigs trying to brainwash you into what they want you to believe.
It's getting you ready for the one world government system that
will eventually come into place.

Check this vid out from a person who was heavily into
the new age movement.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FmLWrErh7t8&feature=c4-overview-vl&list=PL26E2140113379158

Aquarius-Age of evil two hour documentary

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJdXrRyroc4&list=PL26E2140113379158


Kleisto's photo
Mon 09/09/13 05:30 PM
Edited by Kleisto on Mon 09/09/13 05:30 PM







saying man is not meant to be monogamous is like saying women are not meant to work outside the home

people are capable of what they are capable of,,many are more than capable of committing to someone and others aren't


the problem isn't expecting monogamy, it is being dishonest about whether or not one is capable of it,,,


which goes back to the societal pressures of expecting everyone to be the same that I just spoke of. If we stopped trying to put everyone in the one box, things would be different than they are and everyone could more easily get what they need.


I don't agree society causes the problem

there is no stigma anymore in remaining single, so there is no excuse to feign commitment if one is not going to actually physically commit


But maybe some people want to be with someone and still have fun in addition......this is the problem, we have a society where people are forced to decide between all or nothing, and maybe some want something in between. Such people should not be effectively cast aside and made to be either suffer alone or be someone they're not with someone else just because others see fit to judge them because they don't go along with the norm.


and nothing stops those people from finding each other and doing just that,,,




The way the culture is set up though doesn't exactly make it easy for them. As I said it's beginning to change, but we are still predominantly dominated by the monogamous w/that lifestyle pushed onto others in the process even if they don't desire it.


bottom line,, people want to do whatever they want and insist everyone else be happy about or promote it

that's not life

but it still does NOTHING to stop people from doing wh at they want to do,, with their bodies and their lives


I don't believe asking for some respect is asking for that much, you don't have to like it, but when you start placing judgment on someone for it because they dare to do something different with their lives regardless of what it gives them, you cross a line. Simple as that.