Why do nice guys lose when it comes to having women?

There's different types of nice guys. And I never really believe any guy is as nice as he say's, until we know each other. Anyone can say they're nice. But until conversation happens, it can't be shown.

Oh good, it's been a while since we've had one of these threads.

Well, they say that you have to treat them mean to keep them keen.

Act like a doormat and she's going to walk all over you. You might get the girl but can you really put up with that?

That's an excellent point.('You might get the girl but can you really put up with that?') When you're being nice to someone that's how you should be acting but you need to remember that it's between you and the other person. A lot of the time I think that women want a man to show off to their friends and/or to somehow get then more social credit or higher their careers or what not.. If you're just interacting with her for the sake of that then it doesn't accomplish those goals.(sad to say!) It's a little bit of a headgame to be sure but I think it's worse in the cities than it is in small towns.

And I was enjoying the absence of them.

There is being nice as you call it, and there is being overly nice that will drive a women nuts. personally i don't think there is such a thing called a nice guy. It just men that try to hard ln something that just started.

yipee! another nice guy thread

oh cry me a river and call it a day

I agree with klc - you attract people to whom you are similar unless of course you have the control issue of wanting to "fix" or change someone....and that's not "nice"

if u don't like the situation get out but constantly harping on how horribly you've been treated by women just makes us all wonder if u just have poor judgement lol

or don;t understand why she doesn't appreciate "nice" disguised as control...

Hmmm, well if you attract people who are similar then wouldn't a 'nice guy' attract a similarly 'nice girl'?(whether it's a superficial niceness, overly nice or... controlling nice? actually I don't really get that one but ok!)

(and by the way that's a better pic for you than the one in the tie)
(to Ejyro)

the circle of life is now complete.

I'm a nice guy, always had pretty good luck with women myself, maybe your just doing something wrong, lol

Why would I date a not nice guy?

I don't get the controlling thing being passed around here.

To me nice is caring, considerate, compassionate, treats people with respect...and not just the woman he's trying to impress, but everyone.

I would not date anyone less nice than that. You don't have to be a doormat to have those qualities. In my experience, most are not.

Nice guys finish last because they are slower than the other racers.

Lol thank u. Am rily enjoying the interesting comments am getting.

Especially be wary of the one's who SAY they are. As they always have a reason for saying it.

I also agree with Cynderella. Some guy's really are nice, but I think we all have our own definition's of nice. I've had too many try-hards. I could just tell they were being a bit over-friendly. They thought they were being some unique gentleman, and then got grumpy with me, if I didn't force myself onto them. lol. What's the point of forcing? You can't. Either someone is atrracted to ya, or they're not :)

I don't think that wanting to "fix" someone has to be a control issue.

To me, it's being a nice guy to want to give help and support to a woman that has problems. I've seen this from both sides because I've been with a woman that claimed to want to help me with my problems but she didn't really do it in the right way and it just ended up with me getting constant criticism, put-downs and abuse.

The problem I've found is that at some point in a relationship (after the "honeymoon period" is over perhaps) you are going to have to stop just being "nice" and discuss problems that you see with the relationship. If a person is damaged goods, or has "issues", they will most likely take any personal criticism negatively and try to turn it around and say that you have become controlling. Women on the rebound are generally looking for a "nice guy" in comparison to ex partners that they had some sort of conflict with and they will give you stuff about, "I've had to put up with a lot of grief from my ex and I'm not taking it from you".

i love bad witches thats my friggen problem.