Topic: In love with a friend- need advice
iamamockingjay's photo
Mon 06/03/13 06:20 PM
Hi guys! I have a close friend, he's a guy. We've been friends for almost 4 years now. He's been my highschool classmate before but we became really,really close during college since both of us were taking the same course & we get to share a lot of things with each other. We're studying in different schools BTW. 2 years ago, I developed this certain kind of feeling, I realized that I have fallen in love with him. He's been a very caring & sweet friend. But I know, this is not right because we're just friends & the feeling might not be mutual. The thing is, I get really happy when he text me or when we see each other & I can't stop what I'm feeling for him. I don't want to break our friendship just because of this. Should I still take the risk of letting him know what I feel for him or not? I've been keeping it for a long time already & it really pains me but I don't that to create a gap on our friendshhip. :'/

pkh's photo
Mon 06/03/13 06:32 PM
That's tough I say tell him and be honest. Who knows he could feel the same. If he's really a friend he still will be

Bbrooks35's photo
Mon 06/03/13 06:53 PM
Yeah your best bet is to be up front about it. Let him know. I had a situation similar to yours a very long time ago. Long story short, she didn't feel the same way. While I was a bit hurt by it, I understood completely and to this day we're still VERY close friends. She knows more about me than anyone else does. I'm glad to have her in my life even though nothing will ever come of it. I hope your situation is better though and you find out that he feels the same way. Even if it turns out he doesn't, it's something you needed to know. Without that information you'll just drive yourself crazy and it could possibly make things worse between the two of you. Regret is a horrible thing to have on your mind. Just remember though, if he doesn't return the same feelings.. don't throw the relationship away. Always keep him in your life. He's your friend and the one thing about true friendships is, no matter what happens between the two of you.. you'll always be there for each other.

no photo
Mon 06/03/13 07:42 PM
I'd wager there's an excellent chance that he has feelings for you also and possibly even shares your anxiety of not wanting to spoil the friendship by saying something and discovering that you don't have the same feelings for HIM...lol

I say ask him for a quiet moment to talk. Chances are he is thinking similarly to you!

guys don;t often stay friends with a woman that long unless he is interested romantically also (there are probably exceptions but I haven't seen many)

go for it in the quiet moment time. use your own words....tell him that he is important to you. That you would like to be closer than you already are....suggest spending more time together doing things you both like...maybe suggest an activity...wait on trying to define the nature of your relationship until you see how he feels about spending more time ALONE together :) good luck

I am encouraging you because I lost a really great guy by hesitating.

iamamockingjay's photo
Tue 06/04/13 06:41 AM

That's tough I say tell him and be honest. Who knows he could feel the same. If he's really a friend he still will be


I'm really afraid to let him know, what if he begins distancing himself to me? That will really break my heart. I don't want to lose just like that. :'(

no photo
Tue 06/04/13 06:57 AM
Right now, you're distancing yourself, by not telling him. Will you act this same way, if you have a crush on someone else in the future? I'm just not sure you're doing yourself any favours by being scared of rejection. It's just making you feel worse. You don't have to be so bold when you tell him. You could put it across in a really sweet way like "I think you're cute". Don't listen to your fear. Fear never let's people win. You need to tell him. Trust me ;)

notbeold's photo
Tue 06/04/13 07:04 AM
Friends being just friends sometimes need a little distance, while still enjoying company etc., like a strait men's relationship.

You must be clear with eachother, think with the head not with pants; communication without fear, but don't ignore your hearts.
I wish I knew which women loved me, and stayed silent. So say something. The true answer will come out sooner or later anyway, may as well make it sooner, and enjoy. Best of luck.