So the sweet romantic guys are gay? Serial killers? Boring?
Prince Charming has become redundant?
Bad boys are cool? Thugs? Secretly harbouring sensitive emotions?
HELP! I don't know what to look for anymore!!!!!
Dramatics aside though, am I the only one who keeps getting mixed and contradictory advice on dating? If he buys you flowers, "aaaaw, but watch out."; if he threatens to beat you, "He's an idiot, but he's only doing it coz he loves you." (Yes, there are people who think like this).
Why can't a spade just be a frikken spade anymore?

try find some of David de Angelo ' s works on behavioral psychology and relationships and you will understand how most female and male relationship dynamics operate

Thanx, will be sure to look them up.
I tend to take people at face value, I assume that you mean what you say and say what you mean.
My view of dating and relationships in general can be pretty black and white; if he's nice then he's nice. If he's mean then he's mean.
I know this is a bit of a simplistic way of viewing things, and there are grey areas in life but I'm also quite sick of kicking down doors that are already open so to speak.

It is simple ... but it is amazing how much people like to complicate it!

#1 issue my clients have is an fantasy version of love that isn't real. They expect men to act like women (and be for us what our girlfriends are) and then wonder why we aren't attracted to them over time.

His behaviour will show you who he is. Pay attention to that. If he has anger issues and treats you with anything less than respect, run for the hills.

Trust your gut pretty gurl!

The men I met inperson are mature adults, I don't have a problem with them like you say here. I meet Older men so maybe that is why they are so mature minded and have experience in dating a lady.

Men and women have this issue of sending mixed messages. Hell....it has been a common thing for both sexes for many, many years. There are guys who will sweet talk you just to get into your pants. However, there are those guys who are genuine. I always say this....if sex talk comes up on the first date A LOT then it is probably a sign that he wants the booty. If the both of you can joke about sex for a minute and then move on to social economic issues to discuss, then he might be a keeper.

People are different persons at different times in their lives. Life is a journey down a twisting road.There is no set signature or patterns that are obvious. You never know until you unwrap the gift to see whats inside. Thats why its important to cherish the right one when you finally have it in your grasp.

Human beings are complex things, and none of us comes in ready to date packages.

All you can do is look for what you want. Someone who makes you smile and who makes you happy. If the "messages are mixed" perhaps you need to look deeper to understand the cause. Not every guy is going to be everything you dream of in every possible way most likely, but that does not mean he won't be the guy who makes all your dreams come true.

The best judge for any possible relationship is not a book, your friends or random people on a website... it is yourself. And if you are really going by only what YOU WANT, and not what anyone else says you should want, then it should all work out.

afriQueen22, if you were 15 years older, then I would tell you to look for a Melmacian.

I find the best advice on relationships comes from those who have had a successful commitment,

,,,,as opposed to others trying to 'date' or 'experts'

follow your heart, ask people you respect who are in happy relationships of their own,,,,

I wouldn't worry about those who tell you things like sweet romantic guys are gay, normal conversations are boring, or bad boys are awesome. Go for what you like.

I pay more attention to the little hairs at the base of my skull than to what others say. If he makes me uneasy in some way, they usually raise up and say, "something ain't right here". I dont know what makes them so smart....they're only baby hairs. But they are usually right for me