Seriously though, no sane person would marry a jerk. *waits for someone to prove me wrong*

i was married once... is that enough proof?... (but i can't be for sure she was 100% sane)

I think you can reconnect if you really want to. Trust is one of the main building blocks of a healthy relationship. If you feel you cannot trust him than it is not going to work. If you have to smother him and check on his every move, either he will get tired of it or you will go insane with insecurity.

You need to take a hard look at your relationship and ask yourself if you can be happy with this person. If the answer is no, then you need to move on.

Nobody should ever have to settle.

Well, at least you got past stage one, I suppose, by admitting to yourself that he really seems like he doesn't care. You can always deny it, and act
like it never happened, but then it would still be
in the back of your mind, no matter HOW MUCH
you try to ignore it. Did
you come here to find a
new guy, for revenge? If
you can't/don't show him that you can let him go, I think he will abuse your
feelings. If he thinks he
can use you as constant
back-up, then he pretty
much will feel he can get
away with it. Every time.

A couple of times I have come to the site for revenge or to officially move on. Now I'm really looking for friends and advice. But I do agree that he will continue to take me for granted, not give me the respect he should, & abuse my feelings if he thinks I will always put up with it.

stupid question, but if you did not get along with this *** why did you marry him in the first place ?

You're being played like a fish. Dump his crap onto the front lawn.
Get a divorce, then get your life together.

The only reasons you want this lousy guy back is YOU
1)Invested a lot of time in him even though he obviously does not invest in you like wise cheating with multiple others
2) Don't want to admit that you lost out to some Bimbo even though you have and continue to do so
3) Are easy to fool with a little "jolly time" .
4) For some unknown reason like the drama and punishment of being shown he still continues to put you second to his sexting friend.

Sure this guy is a creep, and you know it, but until you decide you have not the power or the need to try and fix this toad of a guy you are going to continue to be his sloppy second who is probably supporting most of the chores and probably the bills where you live together.

You don't deperately need advice you need to hit bottom where you find yourself addicted, pregnant, or sick with a major STD, or abandoned completely, maybe even beat down physically since he has already done it psychologically and socially since that is obvious what you are waiting around for.

Just for the heck of it look up the local Battered Womens Shelter and Hospice for Aids patients so at least you know where to go when the enevitable happens. Maybe go visit both as a volunteer. It is remotely possible seeing that you are not the only woman to delude yourself to think you can make a frog a prince will make it somehow easier to admit and move forward with your life before it gets worse is possible.

Hope springs eternal but hey try hopeing for something possible like yourself ratherr than this BOZO.

If this sounds hard core and like blameing the victim then STOP being a VICTIM and be a Survivor!!!!! Instead of wasteing your time torureing yourself reading what ole Hooter's Humper is texting try texting a mental health or county health center for aids testing, Habitat for Humanity and get on their list to earn yourself a place, go to school, a job center if you are online you have some skills, find an affordable place, and join a support group. Find a law clinic that will show you how to file your own divorce and ditch this miserble mess you have slide downhill into over the last decade. I can pretty much promise you that he won't notice your are even gone.

Pacificstarr is wise..goog advice..NIP IT IN THE BUD GIRL.you are in a rut you deserve better and you will again be loved by a good man.

Everyone wants to improve their circumstance,
but nobody wants to improve themselves.