Christmas Eve...1996...my ex hubby and I would host for my family's christmas. My parents had bought my son a remote control car, but forgot to buy him batteries. He so desperately wanted to play with it, but I explained that gramma and grandpa forgot to buy him batteries. He disappears for a moment, only to return with my vibrator, and says "Here mommy ! Use the batteries out of this !"...right in front of my parents, my brother, my sis in law, and my nephew...my ex hubby and I wanted to crawl into a hole and DIE !! LMFAO

if that doesn't LIFT his spirit nothing will

thanks everyone!! keep them coming.

to accomplish an ordinary task, tackle it with extraordinary effort

My poodle is always sniffin' around for food. 1 night my ex got tired of it and stuck a peppercinni pepper up to her nose...First she sniffed, then sneezed, then showed her teeth. He put it back up to her and she tried to bite the Sh** out of him

most of my family was together one sat afternoon and were discussing getting together for a dinner. My baby sister offered her house for the dinner a few sundays later...her three year old dau piped up and said "Not on sunday mornig, that is when mommy and daddy take there clothes off and wrestle in the bed." She turned bright red and the rest of us bustd out laughting.

betsy_baby you havent only used that line on me have you.