There has been a lot of talk about the "breakdown of the family" for about 2-3 decades now.

There seems to be a consensus that it started with a much more general "vein" of a breakdown of "extended" family and tight knit communities.

It's (in most cases) only in the very rural or very urban communities that this lovely web still exists. Romantic intentions aside I think many of us are "here" to try to get some sense of "that".

I'd like to hear from the demographic that has Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, and generational family friends...just to know it is still around.

I have to believe that having the extended network of caretakers (feeding, caring, disciplining, noticing, helping with studies, ...loving, etc.) the children HAS to have a positive effect on the "nuclear family" staying together.

My family stayed together...
Lots of my relatives have passed on though.
Meals were allways around the table, you did'nt have a billion people leaving and heading off in thousands of directions...
Family was family and you were there for each other- no matter
what...

Unfortunately my own children did not get to exsperiance that
kind of life style. I raised them as a single parent. Tried to install family values in them- and it was'nt easy. Yet as
adults they have stuck together as family... So I guess I did'nt
do too bad.

Now a days I see so many youth wandering aimlessly around getting into trouble- while a drugged up parent is no where to be found. Some kids don't know what to do or are board out of their wits- even though they have plenty of machines around to keep them occupied. People pawning their kids off on others.
Familys being split up everyday... Its sad...

WELL I DON'T KNOW ABOUT ALOT OF PEOPLE THESE DAYS BUT WHEN I WAS GROWING UP MY GRANDMA RAISED 13 GRAND BABIES IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE AND WORKED A 9 TO 5 JOB SHE ALWAYS PROVIDED FOR US I STILL HAVE THOSE OLD FASHION VALUES SHE HAS TAUGHT ME AND I HAVE SPENT ALL OF MY LIFE HELPING PEOPLE AND TAKING CARE OF FAMILIES AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT WILL NEVER CHANGE FOR ME ANYWAYS........BUT TODAYS PEOPLE WELL I JUST DON'T KNOW ABOUT THEM ANY MORE THERE ARE ALOT OF RUDE PEOPLE OUT THERE ..YOU KNOW I TRUELY BELIEVE THAT IF EVERYONE WOULD JUST HELP EACH OTHER WE WOULD NEVER WANT OR NEED FOR ANYTHING

This topic to me speaks of morals,values, loyalty and love, as parents and people we strive to teach this and practice it daily.
We all fall short of this from time 2 time, but i feel it's the only way to be.The break down of families is the saddest thing to see and feel. Loving unconditionally,forgiveness, understanding that each person is unique and acceptance, the key to love.
A very sought after kind of life that few understand.

Dakota - I agree. If we would just give more of ourselves and do what we can in our circle of influence, then the world would definitely be a better place.

Not JUST families...good point!

I wonder how many people know their neighbors that are any more than 2 doors down.

I so miss the feeling as a kid in the midwest of driving on a road and WAVING as you pass by.

The only thing that comes close anymore is hiking in the National Parks.........everyone ALWAYS says "Hello" on the trail.

It's just so "civilized"!

Beachfarmer - I agree. Society is so global and mobile these days that people don't seem to "root" themselves anymore. It seems that people aren't that interested (maybe they don't know how) in building a community anymore. They just go from job to job, or relationship to relationship and just can't seem to find contentment in the simple things.

Beachfarmer- wow I miss those days when people used to wave at each other. Now when you wave at someone they look at you like-
What the hell are you doing or give you a dirty look.

Neighboors were there for each other- looking out for each other. Now all I see is fighting and complaining. Maybe I live in the wrong area... It has to exist somewhere still? Does'nt it?

Living in the rural setting now a sponsor of mine even brought that up as a topic concerning the hand waving. People still wave here but some up raise up a few fingers. My sponsor told me he thought the few fingers off the steering wheel was a half-assed wave and that when somebody waved at him he wanted the whole hand. You can really tell the real friendly type they wave with both arms. They kind of scare me though because they must be using the knees to control the steering wheel with.

Yes it's obvious that many long for that common bond. Places like "this" thrive because of it....it's a good thing I think, but not a substitute.

Oh. Was your original question about the use of online sites like this to help replace our need for a sense of community?

If so, I agree it's not a substitute. The internet is a great resource, but we should all be mindful of it's place and its limitations. I think there are a lot of reasons people are on here. Some people want a date, some people like to stir up things on the forums, other like a good discussion or debate, and other do enjoy the cyber "friends" they make. It's anybody's guess why someone else is on here. But hey, as long as we are here and play nicely, then who cares what other people's motivations are?

It was general. I wanted to hear from areas where this might still exist and anticdotes like that of Roy's sponsor.

Just looking for some hope I suppose.

((((Beach))))

My Family is close on my mother's side we all live with in about 8 miles of each other, except 1 cousin in FL & he was just here & got married at my sister's house last weekend..
We've lived here my whole life so I know alot of people & having a older sister & younger brother there is alot of the people we went to school with around or come back to see family & stop by..

It's nice to know it still exists (((catch)))

All of us in our family tend to take in extras too... when I was growing up we always had extra kids here..
some times we didnt like it cuz we didn't get to go where ever & hang out at other peoples houses, maybe cuz they were always here..
Each one of us had a few differnt friends that lived with us when they needed to..
Even today I think there is extra kids at my cousin's, my sister's & our house..
Our doors are never locked..We've never had that feeling of being intruded upon if somebody just shows up..
So I'm in a nite gown come on in..

The other night I had gone out to get water out of my mom's van at 3am. here was the G/F of the kid down the street parked 1/2 way in our driveway (in her BMW she must come from the area around the high school) anyways she cry her eyes out & I was afraid to say anything.. finally I got her attention & told her to come in the house..
She was so embarrassed & acted like it was so wrong of her.
She first was saying oh! I'll get out of your driveway!!
That is so terrable that anybody should feel that way or to be raised that you wouldnt feel like you could come into a house of your friends..
I know since july she has stayed here maybe 10 times.. just piled out in the family room with the boys.
It's one of those that reminds me $$$ doesn't buy LOVE!!

When I read posts like this it makes me again realize how lucky I am to live where I do. I know the first and last name of all but two people on my road, I only know their last names. I know a great deal of the people in my community. We still wave at each other as we pass by. We still stop and chat it up at the local grocery store. We mow lawns and water gardens when someone is sick or elderly. The community club still holds potluck dinners that most of us attend. I know when someone has had a baby or a death has occured. I know when Mrs A walks in the daytime and if I don't see her on my way to work something isn't right. I know Mr A walks at night cause the cool weather is easier on his heart and it is not because hes a pervert.. I forget how lucky I am sometimes so thank you Beach