Ms Tee you are a real sweetheart and you should do what makes YOU happy always lady !
I was just saying that "love" itself don't cost a thing



KiK

I got more money! Here's my two cents:

TeeBee, you and DoDoDavid post really good questions.

I am originally from the Wild Hundred's (South Side) of Chicago. The term "Gold Digger" was what we used to describe that girl that was primarily concerned with what she could get out of who she was with. Regardless of how you looked, how you dressed, whether you were pleasant or not, etc, it didn't matter. IF you had loot, you were IN in every sense of the word.

I don't see anything wrong with a lady that is lovely on the inside & out who is concerned about a guy's financial situation - it just shouldn't be the primary deciding factor...

Reminds me of a N.C. story (my own) Picture a nite-club on the ground floor of a Ramada Inn, a coochie-for-cash girl, and being out of like $2,200!!! The coochie was good, but I should have saw that one coming! Live and learn folks, live and learn.

Teebee.. in all reality, I’ve never known a female to fall in love
with a male and not be the least bit concerned about how he could
afford to take care of his current and future financial responsibilities,
she being one of them.

Unless, let me digress… the two are still in school, live at home
with their folks, who still support them. Then it’s her parents who
are concerned about whether her boyfriend is the best choice for
their daughter’s, and possibly grandchildren’s future happiness
and yes, support. Because not all women work, if they have children
to raise, and men are still the head of house bread winners,
providers. They have to have the fiscal ability to provide
for the children they bring into the world too. Our parents teach
us to value what they deem an acceptable partner to be from
childhood on.

There was a time, not too many decades back this would be
a non-issue for women as they were expected to stay home,
not have careers, and depend on their husbands for full support.

As the generations evolve, our cultures do too, and now women not
only work to support themselves, there are a lot of men who want
to sit back and let women take care of them now. I speak from experience…

So, we women still have to be choosey about our expectations
of the man we want to combine incomes with,
because it is more convenient in today’s economy
for people to cohabitate and split expenses, whether in friendship,
as lovers, or married. The woman should not pull more weight than
the man if based purely on old fashion values, which are still
highly honored by some. Although a lot of women will, but he has
to be worth the extra expense… bring something more to the table
in other ways…

just my humble female opinion…

I have to agree with AthenaRose2. If I don't be choosy about choosing a man for his qualities, then I'm not likely to want children with him. I just want what's best for any future children I may have. So I gotta pick a great one.

exactly, Rawrr_Girl, it's not about women being greedy, it's about being practical... we all want our children to have better chances and lives than we did, so we choose partners with the most potential to succeed and lead by their example.

as far as this "gold digger" label that all we women who care about the quality of our existence have to face accusations of at some time during our eligible lives, it is just an intimidation tactic wielded to guilt trip us into keeping our expectations and requirements low from the onset...

however, those of both genders who seek partners out strictly for what they can financially gain from the other are mostly just players who like to ride thru life on their backs and the backs of others, while any actual digging consists of manual labor that these types prefer to avoid...

just my take.. okay.. I'll shut up now...

Whore out!!! I think I have a new saying people!!!

Of course not! You are UNable to work, so you are seeking assistance not the same.

Honestly, If I was unemployed...a date would be the furthest thing from my mind!
Friendship fine... you may need the support, but a love interest while you are searching for work seems ...unfair to the other person.

Of course people have preferences,,,

and no, preferring a 'hot' girl is no better or worse than preferring a man with income

but when it becomes a MANDATE or an EXCLUSIVE club(will NOT date anyone that isnt hot, and will NOT date a man without income), then it just becomes shallow,,,in my opinion


I also prefer a man that provides for himself, and has children, and is taller then me,,etc, etc,,,

so when I have the CHOICE to whittle down the options, I will selext men with those traits,, HOWEVER< its not so rigid that if I met someone wonderful in real time who was shorter than I, or childless, or temporarily without income,,,,,but with whom I had other chemistry

I would count them out for not meeting every preference


I think or preferences as those traits which make someone stand out in front of others,, not those traits that make everyone else become excluded,,,

Not about right or wrong....If that's the way you feel, the way you REALLY feel, you wouldn't even be asking the question Tee...You're asking because there is that tiny little voice in your head saying, "Watch what you say girl cause it might just come back and bite you on the azz...Not possible to base feelings on material things...Feelings have a mind of their own...Sure, you can manipulate your choices around the size of a man's paycheck or the "source" of his income, but there is no way in hell you're going to control every minute of every day...Soooooooooo, the next time you lock your keys in the car and a good lookin, broad shouldered man, with beautiful eyes and big hands notices and takes care of the problem in 10 minutes flat while, at the same time, falling head over heels for you and your cuteness, you're saying you're going write him off just because he's been laid off and is drawing unemployment?...Yeah, right...

Oh I agree... I'd never count someone out due to money woes.. If I like you .. I LIKE YOU.
however, Being the honest person that I am... and expect from others. I can't pretend it wouldn't bother me if this guy doesn't have a job but trying to date me on his unemployment check?
Times are hard... so anything can happen to any one of us. I still feel the same though... If I'm unemployed, it doesn't make me a bad person to date.. but shouldn't my focus be on straightening out my finances??
I say it should... we can be friends all day... but romance should be on hold.
and Ps. I've dated financially strapped people because they were cool and I liked talking to them. It usually ended with an ego problem... Where he couldn't handle me paying or going dutch.

I bought my ex a t-shirt that said: Jesus Saves: But I Spend! For some reason, she wouldn't wear it.

I do not want a broke man, I like to spend money (like most women) And, I take care of my own expenses. When I was married, finances was not a problem for Us I had much more then. I don't date broke men. I am not that hard up.

I think this says a lot. Wise woman... nice to see.
Not just because you and I share the same opinion.

It really is instinctive to make sure your potential mate can take care of you and a family... comes from thousands of years of the way things were. A young woman made herself up beautiful and presented herself in public, she was selected by a man because of her looks and demeanor for the ability to conceive and take care of her husband, children, and home. Even large breasts were seen as a sign she was not going to let him down in the conception department, and suggested to him she was more capable of feeding his children than others. They got married FIRST and rocked on. The family of the woman would be involved so they could assess what this man can offer their daughter. This means money and possessions. HIS means to ensure their daughter's survival and family genes were entrusted to him because of his provision. We women sum up the traits in a man that will ensure our survival and any children that are produced. Even though these old fashioned ways are on on the shelf, they are still active in our minds. You can't take out thousands of years of instinct in a couple hundred years.

True story recently..

3rd date in... She asks to borrow 1000$

She has a family for that until she's committed to a man.
That's just.. wow...lookin scummy and needy there.

Face facts, men are booty-diggers!

Uh huh... I'm a magnet for the financially irresponsible

Gold digging is hard work.

I have a metal detector and pans but I need more energy.