no chance!
Sexuality is Hardwired!
Whatever you are you are!
Besides,it is no-one elses Beeswax!

Ann Hecht >sp<, Ellen Degeneris <sp> last gf, changed, or is she bi now?

well considering that there are few absolutes in this world, you could be right about some of the people some of the time. but I still think that bi sexuality is a choice OR eventually that person will have to make a choice if they want to marry or enter a committed monogamous relationship.

What about the BIOLOGICAL aspect of who they "choose" to have sex or make love with? I really, really, can't see how someone born a lesbian would ever be attracted to a guy's body, the same for gay men. Gay men wouldn't be attracted to FEMALE body parts, because being born gay, they only are used to body parts of their own gender. As for bi people, I just don't know. If someone is truly gay, then why would they even just once think about sleeping with the opposite sex?

I say yes. If she is pointing north I can rotate her 180 degrees so she is pointing south. Then she will indeed have anew direction.

Wow, I have never thought it of that way. So the opposite must be true. If the right gay guy comes along, and turns you around then he can change your orientation. Seriously though, many Christians have went to their deaths all through history, instead of being forced to accept another belief. Some ways consider sexuality like religion.

Indeed not. But he would indeed be a grand friend. Who I would give my life for.

the dilemma:

'attraction' is about more than just physical
'gender' is about more than biology, or at least its perception is


it takes an honest insight into those two facts to begin a 'change' in our attraction to others



for instance, there was a show called 'what about miriam' in the uk where straight men all competed for the love of this beasutiful woman

at the end of the show, it was revealed, that biologically, this woman was a male

..so the perception these men had about what an attractive 'woman' looked like, is what attracted them to this man,,, not his ACTUAL gender

there are also people who become attracted to those who are not physically attractive at all,, which can be explained by their ability to put aside the MERE physical/instant attraction myth, and allowing who that person IS,, to be the attraction,,usually leading to an actual 'physical' attaction developing

attaction doesnt have to be gender or physical based, but we are programmed to believe it is the only path to attraction

those who can unprogram that way of thinking, can find themself attracted to all types of 'physical' packages,,,,,,

sure you can change her orientation for instance if she is facing due north you can turn her towards south east.

As with all conflicting subjects the deception is in the question.


The concept that we don't have chose in who or what we are is a lie. A deception. This is the queen of all lies.

So if this is a lie then what is the truth?

The truth is "Choice" is all we have control over.

Before you argue with me. Tell me what do you or I control in this world other than our own choices?

I think its all in ones 'conditioned' perception of life too

our elders raised us that 'everything is a choice except being born, the body we are born with, and dying'


having 'no choice' is foreign to my perception of life, so being born any 'way' besides a certain gender or of a certain ancestry is foreign to me


many people have a life perception reinforced by the 'who I am' type of philosophy,, where traits and preferences and activities are all some rigid engrained unchangable biological factor, like gender or ancestral history are,,,,

..I think thats where it starts,, people who believe in change can change, and people who are convinced change impossible probably cant,,,

To put the question in regards to experience:

A gay couple lived next door to me. One of them told me he had tried with a woman and gotten physically ill doing so.

So if you were able to change one's orientation, it would take years to put their mind at ease, I would think.

Oh yeah, I'm not a doctor, this was just a life experience.

That is correct. It is the true trap called blame.

IF you can blame someone or something else for the reason things are the way they are, then it isn't in your control to do anything about it.

thats not alot

heterosexual women have gotten physically ill with a MAN before,, not sure if it is merely or simply his gender which invoked the reaction though,,lol

and Id guess it was probably 'just' sex too, by the phrasing of 'tried to'

if I was just 'trying to' have sex,, it would probably make me sick too,,,


once we can fall in love, and let sex be an extension of that LOVE and not merely physical,, the merely physical attributes will cease to be the focus,,,,or the source of satisfaction

If I may correct you. It is an observation of someone else's life experience as they told it to you.

We don't know the actual details of his failed woman experience. we just know his justification for being gay.

He justified it by saying he tried it the other way and it didn't work.

but he didn't tell you that is wasn't the same experience or fun as when uncle harry used baby oil on him when he was 8. Or maybe it was the drama teacher in Jr high who gave him his first bj and how much easier that was than trying to figure out the complexities of Sally in the park that next summer.

Somewhere along the way, he chose this path.

Please note I didn't say it was right or wrong. I just stated he made a choice along the way.

I think the path was chosen for him as he grew up as a Nazi pretty boy since he was about six. He knows no other way, sadly, and his experiment, whether it was because she was a woman or it was just too different to his brain, failed. That's all I know about his past.

six years old? how terribly sad

what a childhood,,,,

That is rough. Without sounding heartless, I hope, and stepping away from the things in his life that brought tragedy, pain and suffering, it was still choices to make.

We can certainly say we cannot imagine what he went through. Well some can. Actually being abused or beaten down by a spouse, parent, sibling or so called friend, male or female, can have similar affects as being a prisoner of war.

And we can and do remain victims sometimes for a lifetime. It actually becomes a "Choice" to stop being a victim and move on. To abandon blame and choose healing. But healing involves more pain and sometimes remaining a victim is just too easy.

I will only say I speak from some experience. And abandoning the safety of being a victim wasn't easy or painless but it was worth it. The hard part is taking responsibility for the things we did to our own lives to cause us pain. We tend to just add that to the pile of blame we put on others. Once you do, you can be free of it.

But again, its all choices. The only power we really have.

Yes! We create our reality through our choices.

it is easy to change the orientation of a lesbian...

have her lie down with her head pointing geographic north.
nudge her gently until her head is pointing more like northwest.

there you go.
change again when you get tired of northwest or as needed.