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| Topic: friendship comes first | |
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In europe women do not shave. my german boyfriend loved it that I did. I met him that states and then stayed with his family for about a week when I went to germany. what he did not know is that for the rest of my stay in europe I stopped shaving. I didn't see many ugly danes germans or swedes when I was living there....it was about a year or so after I returned to the states that I started shaving again....none of my boyfriends ever objected to me au naturale
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Friendship ought to come first in a relationship. You start by knowing each other good and bad side , likes and dislikes. From there love starts. Love deosn't jump happen over night . Its a gradual process. which sort of answers the question "can Men and Women only be friends"? ... |
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Friendship ought to come first in a relationship. You start by knowing each other good and bad side , likes and dislikes. From there love starts. Love deosn't jump happen over night . Its a gradual process. which sort of answers the question "can Men and Women only be friends"? ... Yep, men and women can be just friends. |
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Friendship ought to come first in a relationship. You start by knowing each other good and bad side , likes and dislikes. From there love starts. Love deosn't jump happen over night . Its a gradual process. which sort of answers the question "can Men and Women only be friends"? ... True. I think some people will assume the 'friendship' referred to here is just that, while others will assume it is a low key primer to expected romantic connection. I spose there needs to be flexibility in our definitions of friendship with the potential love interest. As such, I think men and women can be friends. I'm not disputing it, I'm agreeing with the original poster, that if you are to marry someone or have sex with someone...shouldn't they at the least first be a friend that it goes against human nature that a man and woman can be friends and one of the two is not thinking about Love or having thoughts of knocking boots with the other |
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Friendship ought to come first in a relationship. You start by knowing each other good and bad side , likes and dislikes. From there love starts. Love deosn't jump happen over night . Its a gradual process. which sort of answers the question "can Men and Women only be friends"? ... Yep, men and women can be just friends. hopefully for the sake of their children |
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Nope. I start conversations with strange women often and have no interest in them at all. Example: Do you have a light? What time is it? if that were the case.. your demeanor would reflect your intent with a dismissive 'thanks' and no doubt.. you would simply walk away.. however.. if that person were somehow attractive to you (a voice, a comment, something either consciously or sub-consciously) you could continue a conversation.. but lets face if.. if she looked like Jabba the Hut.. by your own words.. you wouldn't give her a 2nd thought let alone hang out awhile and shoot the breeze.. Maybe he's just wanting to pass the time while waiting to meet a friend. if he is.. I would suspect some sort of explanation like "I'm just waiting for friends and.. blah blah blah" which immediately sets the tone or reason of intent.. which in this case, would be 'none' Also, addressing only the men in a group doesn't make one sexist. Maybe he's asking about something men generally know about that women don't like sports stats. Example; "My friend I disagree and need another opinion. Who was a better pitcher Nolan Ryan or Walter Johnson?" on this I would just remain quiet as I don't know the answer, I'm not into sports.. but I understood your original statement to mean the new guy was taking over the conversation.. if he was just 'asking a 2nd(or 3rd etc) opinion I would hope the approach would be something akin to "scuse me folks" for starters.. as to knowing sports questions.. I know some VERY knowledgeable women on the subject and wouldn't discount their input IF any were provided.. I remember once approaching a mixed group and asking the guys "would you date a woman that didn't shave her armpits?" I asked because I did once date a woman like that, but only once. I ended the date shortly after learning this and never called her again. I was talking about it with a friend who thought I was crazy for not seeing her for such a "silly" reason. So, I wanted to hear what some other men thought. well if the gent was to walk into an already existing mixed group and not make eye contact with any of the women but expect interaction only from the men. that would be a little rude would it not..? to exclude at least 50% of the group? and I'd "think" he was being sexist.. although I don't believe any of those I call friends would ever purposely try to exclude another from a general conversation.. but.. there's just my world |
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Nope. I start conversations with strange women often and have no interest in them at all. Example: Do you have a light? What time is it? if that were the case.. your demeanor would reflect your intent with a dismissive 'thanks' and no doubt.. you would simply walk away.. however.. if that person were somehow attractive to you (a voice, a comment, something either consciously or sub-consciously) you could continue a conversation.. but lets face if.. if she looked like Jabba the Hut.. by your own words.. you wouldn't give her a 2nd thought let alone hang out awhile and shoot the breeze.. Maybe he's just wanting to pass the time while waiting to meet a friend. if he is.. I would suspect some sort of explanation like "I'm just waiting for friends and.. blah blah blah" which immediately sets the tone or reason of intent.. which in this case, would be 'none' Also, addressing only the men in a group doesn't make one sexist. Maybe he's asking about something men generally know about that women don't like sports stats. Example; "My friend I disagree and need another opinion. Who was a better pitcher Nolan Ryan or Walter Johnson?" on this I would just remain quiet as I don't know the answer, I'm not into sports.. but I understood your original statement to mean the new guy was taking over the conversation.. if he was just 'asking a 2nd(or 3rd etc) opinion I would hope the approach would be something akin to "scuse me folks" for starters.. as to knowing sports questions.. I know some VERY knowledgeable women on the subject and wouldn't discount their input IF any were provided.. I remember once approaching a mixed group and asking the guys "would you date a woman that didn't shave her armpits?" I asked because I did once date a woman like that, but only once. I ended the date shortly after learning this and never called her again. I was talking about it with a friend who thought I was crazy for not seeing her for such a "silly" reason. So, I wanted to hear what some other men thought. well if the gent was to walk into an already existing mixed group and not make eye contact with any of the women but expect interaction only from the men. that would be a little rude would it not..? to exclude at least 50% of the group? and I'd "think" he was being sexist.. although I don't believe any of those I call friends would ever purposely try to exclude another from a general conversation.. but.. there's just my world No, I don't think it's rude. If a woman came into a mixed group I was in asking for make up tips I wouldn't find it rude if she ignored the men because we don't know the first thing about make up. |
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Getting back on topic now.
I have a number of close friends. But, becoming friends with them was a very long process. Years in fact before we were really what I'd call friends. Now I'd trust any of them to the ends of the earth. I just don't see a woman waiting that long. |
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not even these friends you speak of? Nope. |
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No, I don't think it's rude. If a woman came into a mixed group I was in asking for make up tips I wouldn't find it rude if she ignored the men because we don't know the first thing about make up. really? you don't find it rude to interrupt someone else's conversation by barging in with what may seem to 50% of the group as irrelevant? it would seem we were brought up very differently.. |
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No, I don't think it's rude. If a woman came into a mixed group I was in asking for make up tips I wouldn't find it rude if she ignored the men because we don't know the first thing about make up. really? you don't find it rude to interrupt someone else's conversation by barging in with what may seem to 50% of the group as irrelevant? it would seem we were brought up very differently.. I would see that as potentially rude and a little egotistical for her to think the group dynamics should change because she needs make up tips RIGHT NOW |
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No, I don't think it's rude. If a woman came into a mixed group I was in asking for make up tips I wouldn't find it rude if she ignored the men because we don't know the first thing about make up. really? you don't find it rude to interrupt someone else's conversation by barging in with what may seem to 50% of the group as irrelevant? it would seem we were brought up very differently.. I guess so. |
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friendship is important, but it's over-rated when it becomes a prelude to
a relationship. i want chemistry. that is what, for me, makes our lover our best friend. |
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I would see that as potentially rude and a little egotistical for her to think the group dynamics should change because she needs make up tips RIGHT NOW I agree with your analogy.. like that of a child running into an adult conversation demanding immediate attention.. I was simply brought up to believe this was very bad form |
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friendship is important, but it's over-rated when it becomes a prelude to a relationship. i want chemistry. that is what, for me, makes our lover our best friend. when that sync happens bastet it is the best....I like both - lovers who become friends and friends who become lovers but the latter is my preferred - good to see you metalhead 
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I would see that as potentially rude and a little egotistical for her to think the group dynamics should change because she needs make up tips RIGHT NOW I agree with your analogy.. like that of a child running into an adult conversation demanding immediate attention.. I was simply brought up to believe this was very bad form you were prolly also brought up to realize that your needs have to measured by your manners in that type of situation I mean make tips has a pretty low sense of urgency in my book 
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you were prolly also brought up to realize that your needs have to measured by your manners in that type of situation I mean make tips has a pretty low sense of urgency in my book
however if the place was on fire???  politeness be damned..
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friendship is important, but it's over-rated when it becomes a prelude to a relationship. i want chemistry. that is what, for me, makes our lover our best friend. Yep, this is where it's at. Chemistry or attraction. What ever you want to call it, it's king. |
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you were prolly also brought up to realize that your needs have to measured by your manners in that type of situation I mean make tips has a pretty low sense of urgency in my book
however if the place was on fire??? politeness be damned..
have you been talking to fear again?
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friendship is important, but it's over-rated when it becomes a prelude to a relationship. i want chemistry. that is what, for me, makes our lover our best friend. Yep, this is where it's at. Chemistry or attraction. What ever you want to call it, it's king. I virtually never have a genuine desire for someone who is not a friend already. my attraction to men I do not know at all is and was seldom strong - I mean when I was younger I might have said hmmmm, yes he's cute - as I still might think. But to really desire intimacy - not just a friendship - but a trusted friendship (on positive terms) is a prereq otherwise I really have no interest |
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