After a long time of searching and hoping to find someone, recently I finally thought I did. So I disappeared from these kinds of sites and the internet almost altogether and started dating this person. But then after I missed thanksgiving with my family to spend it with this person and stay with them for a few days even though everything seemed to go well and I was really happy, they suddenly call me at 1am in the morning after I head home and basically decided that they only saw me as a friend and broke up with me. I'm not sure if I just have bad luck or there is something wrong with me. But now I just feel really confused and don't know what to do in general.

pull up yer boot straps and put on a smile.. nothing you can do about the past.. what's happened has nothing to do with you.. it was a decision that person made and probably cuz it wasn't the right one for you.. hang in there.. THE one is out there SOMEwhere for ya..

Thank you. I know like my family tells me, I'm young and probably just being overemotional. But it still really hurts to be suddenly rejected like that.

there's no escaping the hurt one feels after rejection.. just tell yourself that it's THEIR problem.. if you like who YOU are... other peoples opinions shouldn't change that perception (unless of course yer an azz )

we're all looking to connect in some form or another.. but finding THE right one for us.. will be well worth the wait..

Yeah, I know...though I'm not entirely sure I trust how I feel about anything anymore. I've thought I've found THE one for me before, but then things changed in one way or another and I just end up getting hurt. I've had way more heartbreak in my life already than I should have, I'm starting to wonder if I should just stop letting myself get attached to anyone.

in my opinion that's not the right attitude to take.. you're being very hard on yourself for no reason.. really..

I've found something that helps me when dating.. I sit back and watch how they react to my comments and silliness.. reactions say a LOT about a person, so does their body language.. perhaps being a wee bit more cautious by not allowing your feelings to get in the way RIGHT away could help you ease into a more meaningful relationship instead of just jumping into something with both feet.. time WILL tell if that person is right for you.. moving too fast (as you've seen so far) can only lead to hurt..

this works for me.. and I've not been seriously hurt in a VERY long time.. life unfolds as it should.. and protecting yourself from rejection by not moving to fast could be a benefit!

That makes sense I guess. I think I just am usually very up front with my feelings, probably too much and that makes me get attached to someone a lot faster than I should. Maybe I should try and be a bit more hard to get and mysterious too? XD

I'm not saying you have to change the root of WHO you are.. I'm only suggesting that you take a deep breath before just diving in.. maybe test the water with a toe first instead of a full plunge.. all that means is you're protecting your heart from being trodden on and broken from those that would abuse or just use you..

everyone IS a mystery for the others to discover.. and only TIME allows for full disclosure.. keep in mind your values and what YOU are looking for in a partner.. then watch and see how THEY fit into YOUR world.. chemistry doesn't ALWays mean they're the right one for us down the road

This is exactly it.

But, it's not a reflection on you. The feelings were just not there.

Yes, it hurts. But, time will take are of that. Try not to dwell on it and find things to occupy your time until the next person comes along. Good luck.

I do the exact same thing. I get too attached too quickly. And I am a bit older than you. I jump in with both feet. I wear my heart on my sleeve.

I have to protect my heart. I am going to go slowly next time, take the advice here about watching actions more than listening to words.

I feel your pain. Hang in there.

Thank you, I'll try. It's just kind of hard at the moment because almost every little thing I do is somehow reminding me of the person.

Thanks, I used to be the kind of person that hid everything from everyone and watched and analyzed every little detail about someone. Then I learned that wasn't good for finding the right person, so then I did the complete opposite. Guess I need to find a happy medium between the two.

words are good.. but if the actions don't follow them.. they're JUST words.. I prefer to see the actions FIRST.. THEN I take a step closer.. people talk a good game.. but those that can WALK their talk are golden in my books!

remember.. life(and LOVE) is ALL about the Journey!

I wasn't suggesting HIDING everything.. BE YOURSELF no MATTER what! just go slow is all.. no rush really when there's a LIFEtime ahead... better to move slowly then rushing into an UNhappily ever after.. I'm STILL me.. in all my silly craziness.. I just refuse to allow people to rip out my heart, stomp on it.. then hand it back broken 'n bruised!

So true.

I have begun relationships based on how men describe themselves to me. They talk a good game about who and what they are. But, the reality ends up being very different.

Take time (a lot of time) to get to know someone. Sooner or later the real person shows up.

Well once I took a long time to get to know someone over the internet and phone before, but then when we finally were together in person they ended up being physically and emotionally abusive.

Listening works well too.. a suggestion (I've used this often but don't tell anyone else here ) is to ask a question (example) today and listen how they respond.. then ask the SAME question a few days later (maybe just using different words) and see how they respond the 2nd time.. if it's the same? typically that proves they're an honest person cuz it's harder to remember a lie than it is the truth

No, I don't mean a long time over the Internet. I mean in person.

...That's a really good idea, never thought about that.

it kinda sucks that there's no guarantee's in life huh..