I'm new to dating. I've been the kind of guy, who wouldn't walk up to a girl and start talking. I'm shy and just looking for a girl that wants to have fun and would be fun to hangout with. I don't really know what to do to get a girl to notice me. Someone, please help..

There was a post almost identical to this last week or so. I posted a few links to things that might help. But, the thread was deleted. Probably because it was considered a "self pity" thread. This time I have a question first.

Are you truly shy or do you simple fear approaching women?

One in the same with some people. Sometimes there's no difference.

Sometimes I do fear approaching them, but I'm mostly shy.

Run, save yourself...In this life, it is almost always better off alone.

Well if you are not some turkey that just marches up and thinks he can demand attention then you are smarter than most of your peers.

It doesn't matter that you are shy or if it makes you a little anxious to try to approach a female all you need to do is keep in mind is they are people too and if you treat them with respect and kindness you can develope friendships that may or may not move into relationships.

You are 22 years old so you need to MAN up and start thinking about what to do to get a Woman to notice you. That is probably going to require you have a better plan than to look for someone to hang out and have fun with.

Would suggest you get serious about a plan for your life, improve your job skills, and improve your financial situation. Women expect guys to be able to Date and that requires a budget for it. If you expect to have a private life you need to have a plan to live on your own. Other wise women are going to figure out fast you are just a over grown kid and even if they like you as a nice guy they are going to pass you up.

First off, I'm no expert and I have a few of the same issues as you so take this with a grain of salt.

Outward appearance is important to make a good impression. You don't have to be Brad Pitt but you do need to put some thought and energy in the type of person you are trying to convey. Do you keep good hygiene? Do you put much thought into what you wear, hairstyle, etc? If you do, that's a start.

Get your shiz together. Hopefully you're not living in your Mom's basement playing Call of Duty day and night. You have a decent job, a car, and a career path in mind with goals on getting there. You have enough money to date and buy gifts for her once and a while

You need to work on being confident. Everyone is different so you need to accept yourself for who you are, not what you aren't. Find the things that make you unique and what you enjoy and turn them into a career you want to wake up to in the morning, or at least take those things that define you to build confidence around. You are good at something

Learn how to be comfortable with women in general. They might be eighty years old, it doesn't matter, just talk and learn to be more at ease around them. Once it becomes natural to speak to women at any age, no matter how they look, it's now second nature to speak to a woman you may be attracted to. It becomes an easy going conversation she will respond to rather than a tense ordeal you're probably used to that leaves her looking for the exit.

Now keeping her once you've got her, I haven't figured that one out yet...

If you plan on turning into a jerk, just don't hit on shy women. As it has them running in the opposite direction.

Okay, being shy is a fear of being judged socially. To get over it yo simply have to start having conversations with strangers. Talk about anything with everyone. You're waiting to cross the street? say to the guy next to you "so, how about this weather?" Or "Those are really cool shoes. Where did you buy them?"

It really doesn't matter what you talk about as long as you talk. All you want at first is a 30 second conversation. As you keep doing this patterns will start becoming clear. And don't worry if people think your a wierdo because they won't remember you anyway.

When talking to women, don't try to get a date of a phone number or anything. Just try to have a conversation. Be fun and playful! Keep it light. If she's into you, she'll let you know it.

Here's a video that may help you feel more confident.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ks-_Mh1QhMc&feature=g-hist

This book helped me after my divorce. It goes into detail about the whole men/woman social thing. You should be able to find it in a local bookstore.

http://www.amazon.com/Game-Penetrating-Secret-Society-Artists/dp/0060554738/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1354062567&sr=1-1&keywords=the+game

I also recommend you listen to this internet call in show. But, you have to be careful about it. The host can sometimes come off as chauvinistic. But, it's really about keeping women in perspective so they can't take over and ruin your life. This happens to shy guys a lot! So, be careful.

His show starts at 3:00 PM Pacific time Monday through Friday and when it's over it replays until the next one starts. On the weekends all the shows from the week replay. Thursday is the day he really covers dating, but he touches on it every show.

http://www.blowmeuptom.com/

thanks man, I will keep on trying. Like I'm talking to this one girl and her friend says that I have a chance with her and every time they talk, they do talk about me and she (her friend) says that when the girl talks about me, and it is always good. Is this a good sign?

Probably better if the girl you like was saying it.

The other party may be talking about you with her but I never see it as a good sign when someone puts words in other peoples mouths.

I have seen a lot of girls play games and if someone is genuinely interested in you she should be telling you herself. Or you may be being manipulated to embarrass her or make someone she does care about jealous.

Since this behavior you are describeing sounds very highschool I would remind you that you are suppose to be a legal adult to be on this site and if you are messing around trying to attract a minor you could quickly find yourself in VERY serious trouble.

Yup, couldn't agree more

You're investing too much in it emotionally. In fact, you sound like a girl yourself. This is a quick trip to the "friend zone."

Stop trying so hard and relax. Allow things to flow naturally, at their own pace.

Think of a cat. If you chase a cat, it runs from you. But, if you just sit there and ignore it, The cat comes to you.

I am on board with this advice. Slow down don't push yourself on any one.Treat women with respect and all things will fall in place for you. Good luck!

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thanks man, I will keep on trying. Like I'm talking to this one girl and her friend says that I have a chance with her and every time they talk, they do talk about me and she (her friend) says that when the girl talks about me, and it is always good. Is this a good sign?


You're investing too much in it emotionally. In fact, you sound like a girl yourself. This is a quick trip to the "friend zone."

Stop trying so hard and relax. Allow things to flow naturally, at their own pace.

Think of a cat. If you chase a cat, it runs from you. But, if you just sit there and ignore it, The cat comes to you.
That works for me

Buy and watch this movie. It contains universal truths about human nature and dating.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0234853/

Make sure you have a sense of humour. Learn to laugh at yourself. Give of yourself more than you expect in return. Get out there and do stuff. Sport, dancing, craft, gym, church and dont appear like the desperate who is there to pick someone up. Just be there to enjoy yourself and it will happen.

Get the body into shape then you will have more confidence. Ditch the glasses for contact lenses if you can bear them.

Go to the better end of town charity shops and pick out so really good named brands. This is better than buying junk new.

You cant sell a secret.