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Topic: Avoiding Friend-Zone
no photo
Mon 11/12/12 12:19 PM
Edited by Jeanniebean on Mon 11/12/12 12:20 PM

She will drop hints. Did you see the movie Hitch? In it he talks about dropping a woman off after a date. You walk her to the door and if she fiddles with her keys, she wants you to kiss her.

If she invites you in for a "coffee" or something she wants to have sex.


Seriously? I don't think you should assume that if she invites you in for "coffee" that she wants to have sex. She might just want to have a conversation and get to know you a little better. Maybe she does want sex, but you should never assume that.

Also, one has to "fiddle" with their keys if their door is locked.

Here is the thing, either the chemistry is there or it isn't. Touch her or hold her. If she does not tense up, recoil or pull away from you, that's a good sign. If she does tense up. give her a little peck on the cheek and tell her you had a nice time and say good bye.

Its not rocket science, its chemistry. When it is there, you will feel it. Don't let your sex drive fool you.

MariahsFantasy's photo
Mon 11/12/12 12:51 PM


Now, lately I have noticed something: When I try to be nice, and accommodate someone, that gives them the green light to friend zone me. How do I avoid the friend zone?


By putting the moves on her ASAP.

Here's what happens; She like you, but doesn't want to be too forward about it because she doesn't want you to think she's trashy. So, she waits for you to make a move on her. But, if you wait too long she starts thinking you either don't like her that way or are too chicken to make your move. There's a window of opportunity and if you miss it, it's very hard to get it back.

Being a gentlemen doesn't mean you cannot be sexual. Send her a clear single and let her know your desires before it's too late.


I side with this, mainly because there is a lot of scared men out there thinking we won't reciprocate it. The way I look at it as the scared man stays as he is.

GreenEyes48's photo
Mon 11/12/12 03:41 PM


She will drop hints. Did you see the movie Hitch? In it he talks about dropping a woman off after a date. You walk her to the door and if she fiddles with her keys, she wants you to kiss her.

If she invites you in for a "coffee" or something she wants to have sex.


Seriously? I don't think you should assume that if she invites you in for "coffee" that she wants to have sex. She might just want to have a conversation and get to know you a little better. Maybe she does want sex, but you should never assume that.

Also, one has to "fiddle" with their keys if their door is locked.

Here is the thing, either the chemistry is there or it isn't. Touch her or hold her. If she does not tense up, recoil or pull away from you, that's a good sign. If she does tense up. give her a little peck on the cheek and tell her you had a nice time and say good bye.

Its not rocket science, its chemistry. When it is there, you will feel it. Don't let your sex drive fool you.
Good description!

MariahsFantasy's photo
Mon 11/12/12 04:40 PM


She will drop hints. Did you see the movie Hitch? In it he talks about dropping a woman off after a date. You walk her to the door and if she fiddles with her keys, she wants you to kiss her.

If she invites you in for a "coffee" or something she wants to have sex.


Seriously? I don't think you should assume that if she invites you in for "coffee" that she wants to have sex.

Its not rocket science, its chemistry. When it is there, you will feel it. Don't let your sex drive fool you.


Haha I love that movie! Its accurate in some areas of relationships when its not exaggerating some maneuvers. Last I heard having "coffee" doesn't stimulate anything sexual. I doubt anyone gets lucky after a cup of a coffee, married people included. :tongue:

I see men try to confuse sex drive with chemistry all the time. They miss out on some great relationships with awesome gals because of it.

Goofball73's photo
Mon 11/12/12 09:00 PM
As the Matchbox Twenty song states.....

"Hey!.....and you want her.....but she's so mean......
You'll never let her go....why don't you let her go...."

TexasScoundrel's photo
Tue 11/13/12 11:55 AM


Seriously? I don't think you should assume that if she invites you in for "coffee" that she wants to have sex. She might just want to have a conversation and get to know you a little better. Maybe she does want sex, but you should never assume that.

Also, one has to "fiddle" with their keys if their door is locked.

Here is the thing, either the chemistry is there or it isn't. Touch her or hold her. If she does not tense up, recoil or pull away from you, that's a good sign. If she does tense up. give her a little peck on the cheek and tell her you had a nice time and say good bye.

Its not rocket science, its chemistry. When it is there, you will feel it. Don't let your sex drive fool you.


Firstly, if a woman has said "good night, I had a wonderful time" and is fiddling with her keys, but not looking for her door key, she's just kinds standing there, then yeah, she wants to be kissed.

Secondly, if she wasn't into him, she wouldn't invite him in. Would you invite a man into your home you didn't like? I didn't say walk in the door and rip her clothes off. There's still some wooing that needs to happen. But, I've never had a woman invite me in that didn't want to have sex with me.

I agree with the rest.

msharmony's photo
Tue 11/13/12 12:04 PM
always amazes me that 'friends' has become such a dreaded word between members of the opposite sex

maybe if more were trying to get into a friendzone, fewer of those future marriages would end in divorce


friendships last alot longer than 'chemistry' and attraction,,

TexasScoundrel's photo
Tue 11/13/12 12:12 PM

always amazes me that 'friends' has become such a dreaded word between members of the opposite sex

maybe if more were trying to get into a friendzone, fewer of those future marriages would end in divorce


friendships last alot longer than 'chemistry' and attraction,,


Maybe so, but women seldom have sex with their male friends. Female friends seems to be another matter though.

msharmony's photo
Tue 11/13/12 12:16 PM


always amazes me that 'friends' has become such a dreaded word between members of the opposite sex

maybe if more were trying to get into a friendzone, fewer of those future marriages would end in divorce


friendships last alot longer than 'chemistry' and attraction,,


Maybe so, but women seldom have sex with their male friends. Female friends seems to be another matter though.



friendship doesnt stop women from having sex with men they want to have sex with,,,


TexasScoundrel's photo
Tue 11/13/12 12:22 PM

friendship doesnt stop women from having sex with men they want to have sex with,,,


It does if he's not bright enough to pick up her hints.

GreenEyes48's photo
Thu 11/15/12 06:02 AM

always amazes me that 'friends' has become such a dreaded word between members of the opposite sex

maybe if more were trying to get into a friendzone, fewer of those future marriages would end in divorce


friendships last alot longer than 'chemistry' and attraction,,
I agree...My husband and I took several years to get to know each other as friends. We ended-up becoming best friends and love came later...I wouldn't continue dating a man who tried to rush everything...It takes time to get to know and trust people. ..I prefer men who know how to be friends with women. (Versus men who automatically "think sex" or even "love" just because they are spending time with a female.)

TexasScoundrel's photo
Thu 11/15/12 01:44 PM

I agree...My husband and I took several years to get to know each other as friends. We ended-up becoming best friends and love came later...I wouldn't continue dating a man who tried to rush everything...It takes time to get to know and trust people. ..I prefer men who know how to be friends with women. (Versus men who automatically "think sex" or even "love" just because they are spending time with a female.)


Not to belittle your point because I'm sure you and your husband had a wonderful relationship. However, friends first isn't the norm.

msharmony's photo
Thu 11/15/12 01:46 PM


I agree...My husband and I took several years to get to know each other as friends. We ended-up becoming best friends and love came later...I wouldn't continue dating a man who tried to rush everything...It takes time to get to know and trust people. ..I prefer men who know how to be friends with women. (Versus men who automatically "think sex" or even "love" just because they are spending time with a female.)


Not to belittle your point because I'm sure you and your husband had a wonderful relationship. However, friends first isn't the norm.



neither are lasting relationships,,,,

coincidence?

TexasScoundrel's photo
Thu 11/15/12 01:51 PM

neither are lasting relationships,,,,

coincidence?


Yes, coincidence indeed.

GreenEyes48's photo
Thu 11/15/12 02:32 PM
My husband and I built a strong and solid foundation by being friends first. Our marriage lasted 24 plus years. (Until he passed away.)...To me it's like cooking a soup or stew. It takes a long time to blend and mix and "marry" all the ingredients...If we try to rush things our soup or stew won't have the right flavor or seasonings etc...Being friends in the beginning (with no push for "more") gave my husband and I a chance to see if we really were a good "match." Nobody had to force or pressure anyone into anything...One day we both realized we were in love along with being best-best friends and skyrockets went off in the sky! It was nice and special. I wouldn't have it any other way!

GreenEyes48's photo
Thu 11/15/12 02:32 PM
Edited by GreenEyes48 on Thu 11/15/12 02:41 PM
P/S...My husband and I were used to being friends with the opposite sex...He didn't spend all his time with "guy friends" and I didn't spend all my time with "girl friends." Mostly we went it alone but when we did socialize it was in mixed gender groups.. And we both had opposite sex friends as well as same-sex friends. It was all normal to both of us!

s1owhand's photo
Thu 11/15/12 03:01 PM
Edited by s1owhand on Thu 11/15/12 03:02 PM
This was all explained in detail in one of my earlier threads...
Let me dig it up...

This should be a mingle2 FAQ! laugh

http://mingle2.com/topic/show/338877

GreenEyes48's photo
Fri 11/16/12 06:31 AM

This was all explained in detail in one of my earlier threads...
Let me dig it up...

This should be a mingle2 FAQ! laugh

http://mingle2.com/topic/show/338877
When it comes to men and women being friends I think it depends on how well-rounded we are as "people."...Some women love football and work on cars and do remodeling or "fix-it" jobs around the house etc.. So they have more in common with men who partake in these activities too...And some men love to cook and garden and share more interests with women...The key to being friends is having common interests that transcend our specific genders...Men who stick with basic "guy things" and women who stick with basic "female things" most of the time may have trouble relating to the opposite sex as "just friends."

GreenEyes48's photo
Fri 11/16/12 06:32 AM
Edited by GreenEyes48 on Fri 11/16/12 06:36 AM

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