I met a man two days ago on here...we e-mailed back and forth...he asked me if I would like to meet for coffee today...at a certain place with a 3 hour window..of time..I said I would love to...just close up the time limit a little for me...never heard from him ...today ...so I sent him a message saying "I gues we aren't meeting for coffee , I don't think that was very nice" ...I freed my afternoon so I could meet him and then he's a Houdini.....now you see him ..now you don't...why do people do this...I can't say men because I know men who have gone through the same thing...what are they thinking..and why talk to someone in the first place or aske the to meet and then disappear..can someone explain this behaviour to me...I must be a friggin nut job...

What can I say? People are idiots when they do something like this. They don't realize what they are missing out when they disappear. Its his loss.

I agree with her. At least you provided some attention more than some of us men find here. Op's nothing meant.

Sounds like a game player to me. You get this some time. Do not be discouraged your very lovely. good luck.

But it's so damned disappointing to the other person..why are they even on dating sites...what is a cup of coffee?? How rude and immature....I'm starting to really believe there isn't an honest person on any dating site..I knowmen go through this too...but it's really getting to me...Ihave been alone a long time...I have had to be at times...times up...I would like a partner...at this rate will never find anyone normal...I have met my share of liars and concealer, players...and just plain old nuts....it's getting really discouraging but I don't want to be alone the rest of my life...can I be??? Of course..I'm strong, independent, confident...and also feminine, loving kind and gentle...but Lord is there no one out there who wants companionship, fun, sharing and love anymore....

Of course their is, it just takes' time to find someone whose seriously interested and isn't playing games. Life is tough sometimes, but we need to learn from it.

Not to take away from the dating site but are you involved in any community clubs? Volunteer organizations? If not; why not give it a try? Its a chance at worst to make some new friends and get yourself out there.

Yep...I took care of my dying husband for 3 1/2 years...after he passed I knew I had to make a life for myself so I did...the last thing was dating..I waited over a year but have been playing the dating site game for about 8 months..now...have met a coupld of nic eguys who wer emaybe more nto me than I them ...but we have remained friends..I have made a few friends from out of state...did one long distance relationship....it's too hard, expensive and hurtful..so that's not an option...I have a full bucket...all that's missing is that special someone to share with...

I've been at this for 8 months...different dating sites..same crap on them all except here...allthe same men are on most of the other sites too....that's why I stuck here....

The up-side is that you didn't spend three hours waiting in a coffee shop for no one to show. I hate it when that happens, and it happens too often.

As far as meeting someone, a quick look at your profile tells me that you've got a very limited window for men that aren't, well, let's just say "scared" to meet you. Just a suggestion, but you might want to widen your age range and distance a little. If they can't email you, you can't meet them.

Oh my ! please explain...I appreciate you looking at my profile..why would I scare men...I know I am pretty damned complex but it's who I am...I am a ball of laughter too...what would you suggest I do..go younger...distance wise ..Idon't contact men too far because they always say it's too far...HELP!

Whoever joins Mingle has access to a whole new pool
of prospects. Some handle this by fishing near
every little ripple, hoping to catch a
passing trophy.

If a bigger and better catch swims by, they are
on it. As the pool size is unknown, they just
keep fishing hoping to improve on their results.

I do not think one can, early on, become a priority
to such an angler.
Maybe a guppie caught their limited attention span
and they are somewhere wallowing in the shallows.
Who knows. You probably never will.

Chalk it up to experience, make friends, hope for
the best...maybe one day a true fisherman will
hook you and take you home.

And fry your azz :-)

Thanks..that's what I'm doing now is making friends..this site is unique in comparison to most others....so friends it is until...the fisherman himself reels me in...

I'm not surprised he pulled that stunt. There's a lot of that going around.
He was probably shocked that you were serious about meeting so he bailed.
No worries. He's not worth your time. Move on and don't take heart to that kind of idiotic behavior.
He's just one of many morons.

I have learned more here in the past couple of days than I learned in 8 months on other sites...thanks simplicity..you always seem to come to my rescue...you're right...I think some have a check list..they contact 10 people and see how many are interested..except they are interested in none...sick>sick>sick.....drama like a group of little girls...

In my experience with dating; I think I would be more shocked if the guy actually showed up. If he goes off the radar or stands me up; its pretty much the norm; however that is just the area I live in.

i would say "his loss"
and I'm sure there is a Man that will show for you & you will probally be happy the other one did do the houdini :)
your to beautiful to be stood up

AHHH...thanks so much...You all give me hope...I'm actually a nic eperson too....LOL

There is a lot of "why"-s in your text.

I suggest nobody can tell you why a person they never met did something. Rude as it is, but how do we know?

I suggest that if you really want to know why; truly, you want to learn the reason, then you do the same thing and then you will have the understanding of this behaviour right where you want it.

If you don't want to do this behaviour, which I understand that you don't, then please settle with the resigned learning that you will never learn "why".

-------------

The ways of the Almighty are unscrutable, but the ways of men and women are darnright senseless and made with no apparent forethought.

-- rabbi Kashner, in "A Mound Cried 'Hozhannah'"

Ah-ha!

I suggest maybe you put down your REAL and TRUE feelings of what you expect of a man and what you won't put up with.

things that are perhaps embarrassing to you, because of your fine upbringing, or things that may put you or the man you seek in a light that is not socially acceptable in your circles.

I mean, be brave and put down how tall he must be in feet and inches, how much he must weigh at his height, what kind of car he drives, what his education and lifestyle has to have been, etc.

Don't be modest and don't undersell your own needs and wants. If you don't, you will meet the men you need and want. As long as you are a nice little dame in distress, you will get the unfortunate (who will meet you, like you, and be denied of you), the scammers, and the unsuitable.

Once you become a lot more specific, you will get much fewer dates, or none even, but the ones you get, will be with men who won't disqualify themselves in the first round.

You can play the numbers game, in which case you'd better have a large capacity to drink coffee, or you can be selective, in which case you will have a lot of boring evenings at home.

You can't have both.