I agree!...Some men carry a "chip" around on their shoulders towards women...And some women have a "grudge" against men and it all plays out through silly "squabbles" in relationships...Who is going to get the "upper hand?" It's probably a little like sibling rivalry. It's based on competition...It's based on the notion that there is only one "winner." There is no sense of being part of a team and working together towards "common goals" as full-grown adults.

I agree with what you said but you are talking more about leadership as I agree some women just get fed up with making decisions; however there are times they want to put in their 2 cents or make the odd decesion. When they do that the men are no longer dominant. Complete dominance means you control every aspect of that sub person and that the sub person is inferior. My friend has a dominant/sub relationship. Her husband makes all the decisions including telling her what to wear, what to eat, what she can watch on tv, who she can be friends with, telling her she can't have facebook or an email account, and he controls every penny in the house so she has no access to money. He goes out with his friends and doesn't ask her permission as a dominant would look at asking for permission as weakness. I think the word dominance is used in the wrong context here as I doubt any of these women that want a dominant man would live like my friend. I will go with leadership or taking the lead but a true dominant man/woman controls every aspect of your life.

You see the irony of this statement is its usually the men that use feminism to create an arguement as its easier to blame feminism rather than openly communicate with a woman. I am a feminist and have never had an arguement with a man. Feminism isn't about being dominant or leading or any other crap that people think it is. Its simply having the same rights to work the same jobs and get equal pay. Thats all it is about. I don't know any of my feminists friends that talk about feminist rights when they argue with a guy. There are some trouble makers that push the envelope and have given feminists a bad name and we are all labeled. So, is it fair to say that one man being a jerk means they all are?

navygirl...I hope you didn't think I was talking about you when I mentioned taking the "bait!"...My Mom used to call it trying to "get a rise" out of someone...Or maybe it could be called trying to "push" someone's "buttons!"...Some conversations just lead to "rounds" and "rounds" of "baloney!" ("Tit for tat" with no end in sight!)..I try to avoid taking the "bait" when possible. (So I don't waste my time and energy!)...It's a "game" to me. A way to get attention...The "game" goes like this: Say something outrageous! Say something you know will "ignite" some "fires!"... Step-in and "goat" people and watch them spring to action and come "unglued."...This is the kind of "stuff" kids do at times when they get bored or want to be the center of attention!....Anyway I wasn't referring to you when I talked about taking the "bait!" We always have decent and intelligent discussions. Thanks!.....But sometimes other people want to do never-ending "tit for tat!" And I don't want to partake in these "games" right now. How do you feel about it? Thanks.

No, I didn't think you were talking about me, so no worries. I am a feminist but I have never played the feminist card. I think some ladies may do this when they are cornered and have to lash out. I agree that this is childish and equally childish when a man uses feminism to blame for a relationship falling apart. I think for some its easier to shift the blame rather than taking responsibility for their share of the breakdown.

Interesting; so you would force a woman to have sex with you even if she didn't want to or was uncomfortable with what you are making her do? Am I understanding this right? As for the clothes; does the woman have a right to tell you to change clothes if she doesn't like what you are wearing?

My husband and I would never dream of telling each other what to wear!...It was different if we asked each other for an honest opinion about clothes. (Or something else.)...But otherwise we left each other alone when it came to our choices or preferences.

id laugh at the woman that ever tried to control me,.



dominance i think so come here

navygirl..I agree with what you wrote. Some women call themselves feminists but they are still playing out the old "battle of the sexes" game...It's weird! Some people feel they have to remain loyal to their "same gender club" at all costs!.. To be a member of this kind of "club" men have to "find fault" with women and "bring down" women...And it's the same with women who want to be a member of good standing in their "club" too...They can't say very many "good things" about their husbands or mates...This just wouldn't be "kosher!" It's all about taking "pot shots" at the opposite sex one way or another!...The only way to avoid this kind of "stuff" is to stay socially isolated most of the time and pull out of all the "clubs" and groups that promote "war" instead of "peace" between men and women.

Yeah; I am pretty much the same way. I have never told a man what to wear but I have had guys tell me how to dress. I of course dismissed them. Men like very high heels and although time to time I will wear them; I won't if I am having foot or back problems. Same as length of skirt; or showing cleavage. If I am not comfortable dressing a certain way; I simply won't do it.

You know what is funny though as these women that talk poorly of their husbands aren't normally feminists. They are just pissed off housewives. I guess I have been fortunate with my male friends as we don't play this type of crap and even the guys I dated didn't play these games. I think this is why I don't hate my ex-boyfriends and why we still remain friends. As I said; I have never argued with a boyfriend and played the feminist card as I simply don't need to. I also never got upset over little things as after dealing with so much death in my career; I can't find it within me to get mad over little things.

You are too funny.

navygirl...I can relate to what you wrote about staying friends with your "ex's." I've been this way too...My "last" husband and I used to hang-out with my "first" husband and my younger son..We saw each other all the time and even took trips together...My "first" husband and I became like "cousins" because we met in high school and had a long history together. We were both "only children" and didn't come from big families..He ended-up dying when he was only 51 from cancer. It was sad...It's weird when relationships end on such a "bad note" that no one speaks to each other ever again. Or when a spouse tries to turn the kids against his or her "ex" just to be spiteful and vindictive. (Without considering the welfare of the kids.)

Again; I think these types of relationships stem from respect for each other. My brother's wife turned the kids against him when they divorced which I found so sad. My brother wasn't a bad guy but he didn't know how to make time for his wife as he focused on work and the kids. This is why the marriage ended.

I have never really had a "battle of the sexes" with guys other than when I first went on combat ships but it wasn't so much a battle as it was men were just plain nasty to women. I find it funny that we think we are so evolved but yet when it comes to relationships; it doesn't seem to be the case. I also find it amusing that people associate leadership with dominance but they are two completely different things.

navygirl...It's about "following protocol." Don't you think? A "set of rules" has been handed down through the decades (and centuries) when it comes to how men and women are suppose to "define themselves" and act and behave etc...If someone dares to step out of "character" or decides to step out of "line" they might be "shot-down!" Or ridiculed or belittled or disciplined etc..They might receive a lecture: "Listen to me! This is who you're suppose to be and how you're suppose to act! This is your role and you better stick to it or else!"..."I have my role and you have your role to play! This is how it's suppose to be and you better not mess-up again or cause me any more problems or grief!"...."Get with the program! Follow orders! No disobedience allowed!"

I do love a when a man is in charge

Well; these people may see it as protocol; I see it as being narrow minded if they are so afraid to step out of their comfort zone. I am better off being single rather than to follow that type of protocol like some mindless drone. I don't care what people think of me; especially men as I realize that its their insecurity that they can't seem to deal with. As I said life is too short for me to be worried what others think of me. Men have done enough damage to my self esteem but no longer will I put up with it.

navygirl...I went to some local events with a longtime male friend yesterday. (A family friend.)...My friend discovered that he had a flat tire when we were parked at one of the events. It was no "big deal" to me but I know my friend had trouble handling it...He called his towing service to change the tire. (Which was fine with me.) He kept telling me that he was capable of changing the tire himself. (He said this over and over again and of course I believed him. Why wouldn't I?)...When he dropped me off I said I hoped everything went well "patching-up" his flat tire. This was the wrong thing to say!...His attitude is always: "I'm fine." Or: "I'll be fine." (Which is a good attitude to have!)...But it's hard to know what to say to him! He seems a bit "touchy" at times or mildly defensive. (Though he tries to remain friendly.)...I don't see him very often but when I do our time together can be a little boring. I don't always talk that much because there's no telling how he might "react" to something that I consider "innocent" or just being caring...Do many men act this way? Do they get wrapped-up in their "image?" Just curious. Thanks!

I am not Navy girl but Can I give a response.

Yes our images are important.


He probably felt wimpy for not changing his own tire. And he probably wants to feel manly with you. But thats a self image issue. If he thinks it was wimpy, he probably assumed you did too.

By reminding him of it at the end of the 'date' probably just activated his feelings and insecurity. You intended to express that it was no big deal to you but his insecurity keeps him from seeing it from your view.

Don't address it again unless he brings it up. Never bring things like that up. let him. If he does, touch his hand and tell him it was fine with you. Then drop it again.


Oh and don't touch his hand if you are not interested in him.

I think I’m somewhere in between and I prefer my men to be somewhere in between as well.