People can always use the term "Pontoon" instead of "Sub".

I actually sat those down that were involved in a squabble and made them talk it out like adults. I never had fights with my ex boyfriends but we did have our disagreements without name calling, raising our voices, or letting it get out of control. The reason I I didn't fight is because neither one of us were dominant (we were equals)and to this day I am friends with my ex-boyfriends. Sometimes one of us would take the lead but still would get input from the other. This is the way we as adults treated each other and worked as a team. When you live with a dominant one; you get tired of being bossed around or the boss gets tired of giving the orders as they feel you aren't contributing. This is why fights begin because one will make the decision and when things go wrong; the other yells at them. I think people are programmed to think that one has to be more dominant but studies have shown the opposite. Yes; I do feel like I am from another planet but my planet is more logical and thinks things out rather than being just another drone and following blindly. I am not afraid to speak out and help him make the hard decisions. I also believed two heads are better than one. Its amazing when you get another person's perspective and how much easier life can be.

I tell women what to do. Some have thanked me for it. I believe most women at some point want to give up control to a man they can trust and who is strong enough to take lead.

Not this woman. I get enough orders barked at me in the military; sure as heck not taking orders from a man in my private life. Enough is enough. I still think men can be strong without having to control a woman. Self confidence comes from within; not from taking control. True leadership isn't about control; its about teamwork. JMO

who could be the sun shine of my life?

Ask the coolguy to bend over.

I don't think it's a question of 'control' in the way you seem to understand control. Control is stopping someone from taking a course they would take ordinarily, so that they can fit into your course or view of things so to speak. That is not what I do. I'm clear in what I want and how to get it. And there are women who fit very nearly within the radar of such a man. It's also not a question of strength. Strength goes without saying although I can link the kind of control you are referring to the associated inherent strength.

I am curious as to what situations specifically that a woman wants a man to take the lead. Perhaps control is too strong of a word and maybe lead is a better example. I have been racking my brains and I can't think of a single situation that a man needs to take the lead in; unless the woman is hysterical and can't be reasoned with. Hmm things like renovating, buying a house, a car, what to have for dinner, etc; these are all things you would discuss together wouldn't you think? Does a man really have to tell you what movie to go to; how to dress, what bills to pay? Just curious as to what your thoughts are. I only mentioned strength because you stated that " a man is strong enough to take the lead".

True leadership is born of instinct and not by design...but that's just my opinion from what i have seen.

Tis interesting to note how a man steps up (or not) when put under pressure. And there will always be pressure points.

I agree that true leadership is born of instinct as I have always been that way; however good leadership is taught or learned. Its easy to lead but very hard to have others follow you willingly if you are a poor leader. I also agree about stepping up under pressure as I spent my whole life doing so. I find it hard to step back when I know what to do but I also let others lead as they won't learn anything if I don't give them the chance. However; I will always have some input as that is just my nature.

I will not tell a woman what to dress but I will definitely tell her you are not coming with me dressed like that, go and change. I will not tell a woman what to watch but I will definitely tell her am not watching that cr*p because I don't like it, its not my thing etc. In bed I will not ask a woman to bend over, I will tell her or make her do it. What I want you to understand is that all this telling is not done in the bare knuckle sense that my writing probably portrays, but there's a skill to it. As they say, its not what you do or say its how you do it. Dominating and being dominated does not come to your conscious awareness in the sense that me and you are engaging this topic. Its something you end up realizing when it has long happened and the very fact that you did not protest when it was happening is indicative that it must have been in complete alignment with your needs. Some women out there are in tune with this need and are actually quite fed up with having to make decisions.

navygirl...I agree with you about the problems that pop-up in dysfunctional relationships. (Where one partner plays "boss" and the other partner is "mousey.")...As you brought-up it can lead to boredom on one end and resentment on the other end. (Over time.)

I agree with you...I don't want to take the "bait" and go round and round and round playing out the old "battle of the sexes!"

I agree with you both, GreenEyes and NavyGirl. The battle of the sex's thing gets old pretty quickly. Reminds me of Feminism. Some men are more dominant. Some women are more dominant. Not holding out much hope for feminism. It's all already been said and done.

Sorry I am also going to be direct and call it like it is. This is crap.

What you are not saying but is really what you are saying is that when you already find a man attractive and/or appealing, you fantasize or hope that he is dominate and takes you. If some random dude was dominate with you in life and you had not found him attractive or appealing before, this isn't going to change. He is just going to be annoying to you.

Recap. This is about how it makes you feel. It really isn't about the guy at all. Thats why so many of you ladies think you found Mr right when a man your attracted to moves on you, dominates you, seems to know exactly what you need. But in the end you wonder. how the heii did I end up with this bad boy.

I actually also think that some women just use feminism as an excuse to create an arguement between men and women. If you're not happy with your man, why not talk about your problems like a proper adult would, instead of your feminist rights? A true adult acts like an adult.

My husband and I operated as "people first" versus defining ourselves by our gender...We were already this way (on our own) when we met. So we were a good "match."...All of this heavy-duty "gender stuff" seems foreign to me. Or the talk about "dom" and "sub" etc...My husband and I didn't hang-out with people or couples who played out the "battle of the sexes." It seems like "high-school stuff!"...Nobody ever wins these kinds of "battles" anyway. It's the same kind of "stuff" that goes on in politics today. Each "side" points fingers and throws stones at the other "side" and the "games" go on and on with no end in sight.