so can two alphas manage to have a successful relationship? it always seems to be a struggle for control. on one hand its exciting and fun, just wondering how long until you get tired...does someone have to submit?

if it's a male vs female in dominance, could be a problem.
if it's a personality vs personality, then it has to be
a give and take relationship.
if one is better at a particular task and doesn't mind
doing it, all the better. but one should not be forced to
do something they are not happy in doing either.
alphas do compete, but both must know when to lighten up
and go with the flow of life for the betterment of the
relationship as a whole,,,so compromise, it works,,,

Of course two alphas can be in a relationship together. Relationships are not about control they are about compromise, as long as they are willing to meet in the middle then anything is possible. If one person is attempting to control the other then the relationship isn't going to work anyway.

OP, my first-born brother married a first-born woman, they are both alpha, and they are fighting all the time, but their marriage has lasted 35 years already, the second marriage for both.

They say fights make a marriage stay alive, because although it's not that nice to look at by the uninitiated observer, fights are still nothing much other but communication intense, very much on the emotional level.

Plus, they are not only alpha, but first borns, so they usually fight over who takes out the garbage and who shovels the snow after a heavy snow fall. They both want to be FIRST at the job, and finish it alone by themselves.

Being alpha and first sibling can mean this, sometimes, you know.

So thye fight ususally sounds like this: "Honey, why did you dig up the garden in a forty-foot stretch, six feet down, for the water and electricity people tomorrow? I DISTINCTLY TOLD YOU that I would do it after having worked a seventy-hour work week with all the overtime at the grinding and smoking machines that others would not want to man."

After this they go on and bring up old injurious deeds, and they get a hot and heavy rip-roaring fight, she becomes reticent and does not talk to him for two weeks, and he pounds the heavy oak dining room table (she has drawn circles with white chalk on it, where he is allowed to hit the table, and he can't go outside those lines), and the two generally rip each other apart, and what nobody else knows in the family, but we all suspect, is that they live out their anger and frustration to have been made to look like a lazy bum, by making awesome and energetic love to the other, just to show which of the two can go at it harder still.

By the way, you look like a very nice woman, and an erudite one too. Too bad you like to beat up your husbands, otherwise I'd have a crack at asking you out and into a fair game (NOT a competitive one) of "tea party", or if you so prefer, "humming him hymns of hem-line hohem homini with ham a la Hume."

Dominance doesn't go over very well for me. I only end up being extremely blunt. And those of you who have gotten to know me a bit... yes it gets worse!

its probably more difficult for two alphas, just as it would be for two submissives

if both are most comfortable being in charge, allowing someone else to take the lead will be a challenge

if both are comfortable with giving the responsibility of lead to others, allowing someone to put that responsibility onto them may be a challenge

I think it all depends on......

Who's dominatin.....

and if she's wearin.....

Leather......

or Not!!!!!

it can work msmyka is right but both people need to be flexible and
willing to sacrifice some of the time to meet the needs of the other.
the interesting thing is it is always 60give/40take for both partners.



it is easier if one of the partners is less dominant or if both
are very easy going - because it is then easier to find common
ground and for one or both of the partners to simply adopt the
other's priorities.

Read about the hawk-dove game - it is very interesting....
most people know of the variant "chicken"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hawk-Dove_game

I think if you both have mutal respect; neither one has to be dominant or submissive. To me submissive means the other person is controling. Personally that would scare me as this person could be very abusive because of this.

Ditto, could not have said it any better....

Dunno. I'm not an Alpha so it's never been an issue.

This is an easy problem to solve. Just be the one who provides the furry hand cuffs?

That right there.....that gal knows.

OP totally bought into that 50 Shades of Grey craze...

Doms are purely for entertainment. Nothing more.

in a good realtionship no one is in charge you just happaly split what you need to. or at least thats the way it should be.

Two alphas can have a short term relationship but not a long term one. There is that initial excitement, passion and fun...seeing who's the first one to give in but you get to a point where all of that wears off and you live in a constant stalemate neither wanting to give in...there needs to balance, compromise and not made to feel weak just because you’ve let the other person have their way...