OK, before you read this I must warn you, this is going to be very self gratifying for me and probably very sappy and funny for you the reader. I just had to vent and "You were warned!"

It's been about a year now since I re-entered the dating world after nearly 30 years of inactivity. I have to say things have changed. The biggest change has to be the ability to simply go online, browse around a site and email someone without meeting them face to face and trying to start up a conversation. Gone are the days of having to go to a club, or bar and work up the nerve to approach someone after preparing your opening line in the mens room or with your wing man. You would think at first glance, this is wonderful, this should work out in no time at all.....well WRONG! 12 month's a mere three first dates, or shall we say meetings and still nothing to show for my endeavers. Nothing, zilch, zero, nada! What gives?

Maybe it's the fact that I am a stay at home dad right now? Maybe it's because I am turning gray? Maybe it's because I am too old? (Is 46 too old?)Or, and I don't even want to think this...maybe I am truly ugly? Oooh, that hurt even to write!

I am not going to name the different sites I am on, but they are all basically the same. Chances are the same people are on all the same sites as you are too. I have seen you there! So why isn't anybody getting together?

Truly there has to be someone out there that can appreciate one of the true old fashioned guys still available. Someone who still takes the time to open the car door, hold your chair out and make sure you are alright, all the time. I am not afraid to hold hands or kiss in public. I am not afraid to share my feelings or emotions. I love to cook, I do laundry, I clean the house and best of all....I clean bathrooms! And let's not forget the yard work or fixing things around the house. Are you enticed yet?

Like I said I have had a few meetings and contacted a few women over the telephone. These are just a few of the areas of problems I came across.

#1 - Photo's are misleading. I am not the best looking man in the world but I do believe in physical attraction. With that said take heed, "Beware of the beautiful face in a tight close up picture". Usually the person is hiding something below the shot. Now don't get me wrong, I am not skinny, but I am not overweight by a long shot. Average should mean, average and that's what I am searching for. Someone who weighs in at around 225 lbs. is not average in my mind. While what is on the inside is extremely important to me a nice exterior wouldn't hurt any. I have met a few ladies who, well lets just say, weren't average sized gals. They were extremely beautiful on the inside but the exteriors did absolutely nothing for me. I just did not feel the spark, the magic. I was not physically attracted and there just weren't any violins playing. I was willing and more than able to be friends with these woman, and I did tell them honestly and upfront that there was nothing more I could offer other than friendship. Both told me to go to hell! Nice. Perhaps I should have told them they were overweight? One actually asked me to be honest and answer her question, "Is it because I am overweight?" I kept repeating no...no, that she wasn't overweight. Try to be a nice guy and it gets you nowhere.

#2 - Is a little problem I call the "Me first attitude!" When you first meet someone a friendship is where you should start. (I told you I was old fashioned!) You should both like similar things and topics, then build from there. There has to be a starting point right? Well, I am finding this to be truly a different logic than I feel comfortable with.

On two different occasions I was able to set up first dates with two different women. Both times, months apart in time I had the same problem breaking up the date. Both times one of my children became sick. Not with a simple case of the sniffles, once there was a 102 degree fever and the other was an asthma attack.

Gal "A" - I contacted her six hours prior to our engagement and explained my situation she immediately became irrate. She said that I should get a sitter anyway and that she was sure my son would be ok. How would she know this? Does she have an in with the Big Man Upstairs? When I asked her for a rain check, she blew me away with, "I wait for no man! I do not come second fiddle to any kids either, goodbye!" OK....lesson learned? Nope!

Gal "B" - The second "Me first attitude" episode was back in June when my other son has an asthma attack bad enough for a trip to the emergency room. On my way to the hospital I make a cell phone call and explain what is happening. I am told, now get this, she actually saids, "Where's your ex? Can't she take him to the hospital?"...Now say it with me, ready, "Me First!"

#3 - Sex!

Now this story is weird in a variety of ways. First of all I do not know of any other man on this wide green earth who would have walked away from this one. You be the judge.

On one particular night I was invited to meet two different women, both via emails. One asking me over for coffee and quiet conversation to get to know each other on her deck, and the other asking for a romantic dinner of sea food for the sex afterwards. Yep, she actually stated that to me in an email. A "sea food dinner for the sex afterwards!". I being the gentlemen that I am, and not ever having met or talked face to face with either woman at this point chose the coffee and quiet conversation over the clearly stated sex romp after dinner. The sex addict told me later to "go screw myself" and the other lady happened to be the story listed above as #1. But hey, I was still able to be proud of myself for being a gentleman and sticking to my convictions.

So tell me, PLEASE! Where am I going wrong? Should I actually begin investigating how to become a monk?

Waiting patiently for a sign of any kind....

Mike

There is a monestary next to the convent I am going to join. Sorry, I am in a similar boat and have NO explanations.

Wow, thanks for sharing that.

2 dates & your complaint is what? Maybe your just expecting things to happen to fast. I feel anything worth having/doing takes work. Want a relationship/EARN it. Your a good dad taking care of your kids. That is how it should be. You say your "proud of yourself." OK, that is how it should be also.
Go slow, make friends, enjoy life, a guy like you will get noticed in time. Make yourself known in the threads & be friends.

I agree with Sage.
I used to feel like you do Mike. But, then I discovered this site. And, the one thing that I learned...you can have a nice time and meet some REALLY cool people on here!! I understand about loneliness! We all do at some time or another. But, like Sage said, relax man! You WILL meet the one of your dreams. But, you can't go LOOKING for her. It will happen when you're NOT looking! So, get to know people, and enjoy! But, most of all, RELAX!

Hi Mike,
Nobody can deny that your story is a bit sad because on top of all the bad things that have happened to you, it sounds like you've accepted failure and have already given up, but don't.

Just sounds like to me you've run into some messed up women. Now if the women were decent, caring women and they put you down the way your two women did, then I might understand why you'd be questioning whether or not you should throw in the towel. But the two women in your story were insensitive, biotches if you ask me. So with that being said, why would you let those particular experiences have you questioning giving up on trying to find a nice woman?????????

I don't know Mike, I would really rethink the whole giving up thing and keep right on looking. In the mean time, try to fill up you time with good friends and fun times with your kids.

why do you only have a picture of your head? are you hiding something below!

Mike, I was and have been more or less single for going on 4 years. The last guy I dated, I was available for (he drives long haul and wasn't always in town), we talked on the phone for hours when he was gone, I listened to him complain about EVERYTHING on earth that was wrong with his job, his ex, this, that and whatever. The Friday before Memorial Day, he called, said he had plans (none of which included me), that was the last I have ever heard from him. No goodbye, kiss my azz, nothing.
I am not giving up, and neither should you. There is someone out there that will appreciate you for who you are and realize what a good heart you have. Please don't give up. Sometimes it just takes time.

Mike......

Never did I see a man gain anything in giving Up.

and being a nice Guy gets You no where.

stop focusing on the haves and have nots about yourself

as you mentioned you have been out of the dating loop for a while.......


Rome was not built in a day.

IT"S TIME TO COWBOY UP!!!!!

Hey,

You aren't the only one on here that is frustrated. I've gone through many of the same things and I am 33. So I doubt it's an age thing. I think a lot of the people on here just have some vision of a perfect person in mind (Which doesn't exist on here or anywhere else)and are quick to find fault and either flake or run away. I have met probably 15 people in the two years I have been doing this online thing. For those 15, I probably had 50-100 flakes. I had 2 relationships out of 15 I met, but those didn't work out either for the same reasons. I just keep on trying but decided to start looking for friends instead. I have met one. She doesn't want the same things as me so it wouldn't make for a good relationship but that's ok for friends. So it gets me out, and it's fun...I intend to keep looking for friends and see how that goes..

Thanks to everyone for your kind words and recommendations. I have added a 2 pictures to show that I am not hiding anything below the neck, and as Reddragons said, "it's time to pony up!"

Thanks!

You have a close up photo showing NOTHING below. Looks are indeed deceiving. Just because you are online doesnt mean that coochie is gonna fall from the sky into your lap. Sorry but an adult S$X site is your best bet OR a ho on the downtown street can help ya out for a mere $20.00 or so.
WHY OH WHY do men like YOU put down women when seeing your photo just shows me another overweight man in his fortys with a piss poor attitude for dating. Women dont OWE you anything but you should STRONGLY CONSIDER showing them RESPECT.
Long gone are the days of "its all about me" since what you are describing as being ALL ABOUT YOU....your "ME FIRST ATTITUDE".
Many women HAVE youngins and the REAL women would understand this BUT from the 2 you have attempted to have that flaming hot date at the cheapest rate (just going for coffee) doesnt fool me. You have stated YOUR SIDE of this ONE SIDED STORY. Now lets here THEIRS. I am betting it was MUCH MUCH different.

what it seems to me is that you were in the wrong place at the wrong time. you were in an inconvenience, and the girls you were with weren't girlfriend material. been there, done that. what you should do is get a babysitter before you go out with a girl so something like that doesn't happen again. in other words, think ahead when your out on a date. also the girl that asked you for sex was solely trying to use you. unless your into one night stands, never get with a girl like that, they will only take advantage of you, and cheat on you.

"Just because you are online doesnt mean that coochie is gonna fall from the sky into your lap."

thanks, barbie...that's the funniest thing i've read in weeks.

Special Statement to "Barbiesbigsister"

Your just the type of woman I have been meeting. ***** to start with and ***** right through to the very end. What's your issue. I said I have added pictures that show me below the neckline, so now what? Also, who said I was looking for "Coochie" as you call it after a cup of coffee? A nice conversation and the start of a possible freindship is what I am after....and just for the record how long have you been single? Quite a while I would guess.....And furthermore, who the hell said that any woman owes me any dam thing? WOW....you are out there.

Mike,be patient.Go and make yourself known on the threads.This is the only site I've been on.And I've only been here a couple months.And have met some really great people and friends.

Well put, Mike, I couldn't agree more. Some people read posts and already have their minds made up before they actually read them. Never mind her. There are a lot of great women out there. Don't throw in the towel after only two dates. My friend, I could share some horror stories with you that'd make your hair stand on end. The important thing is to keep trying, and don't get discouraged.

"...seeing your photo just shows me another overweight man in his fortys(sp)with a piss poor attitude for dating"

Also, Mike, try to be wary of judgemental people who claim you're not giving the whole story, especially when people like that have no clue WHATSOEVER about your situation.

Hang in there, Mike, be patient, and you'll eventually find what you're looking for.

knoxman

I wish I was your age. I would date you.You seem to be a very nice guy.

i added you as a friend dont know wot happened to it and i cant email u either