I am in the army and have yet to find a committed woman. Yes, i know traveling in the army makes thing complicated, but why start a relationship saying you can handle it, then a few weeks say you fond someone else. Could you handle it?

I couldn't handle it.

I couldn't handle military life, either.

Army is not what it's cracked up to be. You sell portion of your life out, a chunk of time of your life which you can't get back. Case in point is the inability or hardship for many to establish a family. You pretty well have to be an officer to have a wife and kids travel with you to your posts.

If you are an infantriman, then you are out of luck. You may as well be in prison.

My advice to people (not to you -- it's obviously too late) is that they should only sign up to service if they are gay, or if they prefer shooting people dead, over having regular sex with one and the same woman over time.

I actually checked into the service stuff in Canada, in a recruitment office, and the girl said "it's best if you do not develop relationships within your circle of comerades", and I looked at her, she was pretty. Although I was facing a choice between army and starvation in a cold, Canadian winter, I chose the latter. I was 55 at the time, and I don't think I could have handled all these army babes running the "terep" and me just watching them and being screamed at by the drill sergeant to pick up my pace and jump off that cliff with the live ammunition behind my ear.

No, sir. Army is for the tough guys who can handle solitude, loneliness, pain, sacrifice, going without, and much much more. Mutilation, death, torture. Giving up your comerades under torture. Standing in court marshall for crimes that get you hanged, and which would get you probation and no more in civil court. Watching the transport of coffins. Saluting the old veterans. Respecting your officers. (THIS is what I could really not handle.) Thinking how the softies like me are back in the back country, drinking coffee, smoking fat cigars and hiring prostitutes at will when we can afford them, while you march in a desert, sand in your shoes, sand in your eyes, sweat buring your eyes, and the ambush or the road mine could be around any corner, for all you know.

No, I can't handle this sort of thing.

Can I ask you a quesion, too? Why did you join? Why did you sign up?

I am not being funny or fascetious with this. I am sincerely curious what made you, personally, sign up. I mean giving your life for the country, women, and softies like me is noble, but what were YOU thinking when you signed up?

As god is my witness, I am not making fun of you and don't want to, when I ask this question. I just for the life of me can't imagine what it is that convinces any normal and reasonable person to go into battle and into the army when he does not really have to.

Please don't say "somebody had to". That's what *I* said when I did not sign up.

Thank you for you well thought out response. I def dont think your making fun or anything of the sort when you posted. The reason I had joined was because i jumped at the idea and didn't give it any real thought. If i could go back and actually take the time to think about it? I would do it every time because i think it has made me a better person, and also helped me mature, where as, if i had stayed home, I feel like i would have failed myself. Your right, the army is a hard, hard career to get a good solid relationship down, but its possible. I wouldn't say you were a softie. By no means is anyone a softie for not joining the military, because some people just do not like the life style it offers nor are some people able to deal with the physicalness side of it. Again, i really thank you for your response.

I'm glad to hear that you grew stronger as a man in the army. In both senses of the word.

You just have not found the one who can handle it.

I had the same problem with men that couldn't handle me being at sea for 6 months; so if I were now to date a guy in the military; yes I can easily handle it.

If I say I can handle it, can you take me to Hawaii?

hmm, that's one thing i haven't tried yet..tell you what, i will date a military guy and i will get back to you and let you know if i can handle it..fair?.

Yeh I could handle it, I probably wouldnt really do it by choice, but if i had loved someone who was Army I would make it work.

My daughter is married to an Army boy and they do fine, they make it work when he is away, it's hard on both of them. They have just had their first baby, he was 6 weeks early and is still in hospital, Her hubby is on 4 days notice to fly out if he is needed and will be gone for at least 6 months, when he leaves.

So you pretty just have to find someone who can deal with it, maybe someone like my daughter who has a lot of family support while he is away..

having been there and done that

it wouldnt be my preference, I would avoid it going in

if it happened AFTER we were 'in love', I would deal with it

haha if i could get it as a duty station next, i dont see a problem

Your still young there is time to find the right woman. Just take your time and you will find her.

Im from a military family, and I would rather date a military man. But thats just me.

Perhaps they enter into the relationship with good intentions, but do not fully realize or understand how difficult it actually is.

IDK, I guess you could either wait until you're home more and can be there more physically, or seek someone who has experience with such relationships and actually knows and understands the difficulty of such a relationship.

I would go for option two, even once I got home. I tend to go for those who are strong and mature and know what they want out of life though.