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| Topic: Terms of endearment... | |
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On the west coast, you don't really hear a lot of Darling' sweetie, or Hun. If you are in Marriage it is more heard of but not so much just random or even at a restuarant they don't say, what can I get you Hun? Most people are addressed by their names until a relationship is formed, then let the games begin. Dimple cakes See....this is why I say it's cultural depending on where you are from. It's common to hear this in a restaurant or grocery store. There is no right or wrong...it's just the area. I was at a restaurant the other day with my family and the waitress said to my grandmother "can I get you anything else hon". No one batted an eye. It was common to hear. I didn't even think twice about it until the threads about it a while back popped up. Now I just giggle when I hear it and I'm not a giggler 
But I think if I went to a place that doesn't say it...might be hard to control the habit, but I would try to not say it. When in Rome type of thing I haven't seen anyone get upset over it around here, but there are some (that don't like it) that can ignore it and I'm sure there are some that would tell a person off lol. Everyone talks the way they talk and everyone handles things in their own way I guess. It's normal for me, so it has no effect on me. I can see someone that isn't used to it being uncomfortable though. |
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I've been guilty all my like of calling people 'hon, honey, sweetie' and such. I doesn't bother me...but stupid nick-names drive me crazy. I hate it when people shorten my name to Vi ! Viv, I can live with..but not the other..to me, that person is just too lazy to use my full name.
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I "get it!" The USA is full of varied cultures! Good to have a discussion about all the differences. It's interesting! Don't you think? Absolutely. There are cultures within cultures lol. From what I have heard...Texas is completely opposite of New York. Neither are wrong...just different and interesting to see those differences and how people live and interact with each other. I had a friend from another state visiting several years ago. In my necks of the woods, if you make eye contact with someone (even driving) you give a small wave
He couldn't believe I knew so many people. It was funny watching his face when I explained that it's just what we do. He started waving to everyone after that, but he used big waves and people though he was crazy
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On the west coast, you don't really hear a lot of Darling' sweetie, or Hun. If you are in Marriage it is more heard of but not so much just random or even at a restuarant they don't say, what can I get you Hun? Most people are addressed by their names until a relationship is formed, then let the games begin. Dimple cakes See....this is why I say it's cultural depending on where you are from. It's common to hear this in a restaurant or grocery store. There is no right or wrong...it's just the area. I was at a restaurant the other day with my family and the waitress said to my grandmother "can I get you anything else hon". No one batted an eye. It was common to hear. I didn't even think twice about it until the threads about it a while back popped up. Now I just giggle when I hear it and I'm not a giggler
But I think if I went to a place that doesn't say it...might be hard to control the habit, but I would try to not say it. When in Rome type of thing I work part time at a restaurant and I'd never even think of calling customers hon, sweetie, or anything else like that. I feel it would be rude of me to do. I find it very unprofessional for waitresses, etc, to call others "sweetie, etc...I was not brought up that way and find it uncomfortable.. however I never mind being called "darlin" when in cowboy country...love the sound of that accent.. 
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Doesn't really bother me if I can tell it's just something they call everyone.
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On the west coast, you don't really hear a lot of Darling' sweetie, or Hun. If you are in Marriage it is more heard of but not so much just random or even at a restuarant they don't say, what can I get you Hun? Most people are addressed by their names until a relationship is formed, then let the games begin. Dimple cakes See....this is why I say it's cultural depending on where you are from. It's common to hear this in a restaurant or grocery store. There is no right or wrong...it's just the area. I was at a restaurant the other day with my family and the waitress said to my grandmother "can I get you anything else hon". No one batted an eye. It was common to hear. I didn't even think twice about it until the threads about it a while back popped up. Now I just giggle when I hear it and I'm not a giggler
But I think if I went to a place that doesn't say it...might be hard to control the habit, but I would try to not say it. When in Rome type of thing I work part time at a restaurant and I'd never even think of calling customers hon, sweetie, or anything else like that. I feel it would be rude of me to do. I find it very unprofessional for waitresses, etc, to call others "sweetie, etc...I was not brought up that way and find it uncomfortable.. however I never mind being called "darlin" when in cowboy country...love the sound of that accent..
I wouldn't get upset if a waitress called me one of those names, but I would feel uncomfortable calling any customers those cute little names. It would just seem very out of place and inappropriate to me. |
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I hope you guys aren't planning a trip down south then
In the south, you they aren't really terms of endearment. They are just words. It becomes terms of endearment in the way you say it. But looking through the thread, the people in the south thinks it's normal and they way people here speak. The people in the west, might not be used to it, but doesn't seem to bother them that much. People in the north seem to find it offensive, rude, fake, etc. Of course not everyone, every where feels the same....but it seems to be more cultural. When I said hon as a waitress...I wasn't being rude at all. It's normal here. Not unprofessional to us. Maybe if I was a waitress up north, that would be different. Every area has their own culture. I think if someone from somewhere came to Texas and told someone not to call them hon, everyone would think that person was crazy. It's not meant as a flirt, it's not meant disrespectful....it's just words here. Really no meaning behind it. I can see if people use the silly terms like sweet cheeks or something to strangers, or they incorporate body parts into the terms....that would be weird. But hon, sweetie, dear, things like that are normal in the south. Just like ain't and fixin to (at least in Texas)
It may be weird to someone not used to it, but to us...perfectly fine and not a dang thing wrong with it 
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Edited by
josie68
on
Tue 08/21/12 01:16 AM
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I've been guilty all my like of calling people 'hon, honey, sweetie' and such. I doesn't bother me...but stupid nick-names drive me crazy. I hate it when people shorten my name to Vi ! Viv, I can live with..but not the other..to me, that person is just too lazy to use my full name. Do Not come to Australia, we rarely call anyone by their name. If anyone uses my name then I know I am in trouble. When you name your child you work through the knick names they will get before you decide to use the name, I dont even call my children by their names 
Men you call mate or whats up bloke, hey Darlin, or what ya upto stranger, or you just use their knick names, I really dont know many peoples real names. I hate being called dear, its like an insult when someone says it here. A husband or wife use it as a joke as in Yes dear, because they are doing something stupid. Now my hubby is American and he calls me dear  and although I know he is saying it in a nice way it still makes me shiver Yuck.
But most of us are called Love, darlin, sweety , gorgeous. By friends and strangers alike, I would be insulted if peole started using my name, it would be like they didn't like me or didnt want to bother with me. So first names here are very rarely used from the time you are a baby. The only person who calls me by my first name is my husband. And thats not because I like it, he just thinks it's normal cause he's not from here
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It's very true what Josie says..
The Aussies like to take a name and jazza it up a bit so that if you go by the name of Darren, you'll soon know you're in the presence of Aussieism when you hear Dazza...or if your name is Barry..it becomes Bazza. Sharon becomes Shazza, Warren becomes Wazza, and so on and so forth. IF, though you happen to be a redhead...then it's just Bluey. Where that came from i have no idea, but ya just go with it. The term "mate" is used as frequently as one blinks...even when they're pissed off with you. Ha!..you know it's not going to end well when an Aussie says Maaaate. :-) |
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Edited by
josie68
on
Tue 08/21/12 03:11 AM
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It's very true what Josie says.. The Aussies like to take a name and jazza it up a bit so that if you go by the name of Darren, you'll soon know you're in the presence of Aussieism when you hear Dazza...or if your name is Barry..it becomes Bazza. Sharon becomes Shazza, Warren becomes Wazza, and so on and so forth. IF, though you happen to be a redhead...then it's just Bluey. Where that came from i have no idea, but ya just go with it. The term "mate" is used as frequently as one blinks...even when they're pissed off with you. Ha!..you know it's not going to end well when an Aussie says Maaaate. :-) 
It is soooo funny how most people don't get it over here, honestly americans stare blankly when we talk, it's like we dont talk english or somthing.
I don;t know what else you would call someone with red hair, it's just blue, bluey, or rangar what else could you call them 
My name is joanne, I have always been called Josie, Jo, Jo Jo or little Jo, only my mother calls me JOANNE and thats only if i am in BIG trouble. My childrens names are Amy ... AIM Michael...Mikey Aaron....Azza Jonathan..Jono. Sarah...SarSar Josiah...JJ or jazzy Nobody calls them their real names. I think that is only for marrage and death certificates. |
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Yes...they all think they're funny giving me a hug on Hug a ranga day
 ...just kidding. It's all in good fun :-)
My two teenagers are called I want and Me too...just kidding there as well, but not really :-) I affectionately call my 18yr old son Wookie, because he reminds me of Chewbacca being 6'2, with an over abundance of hair and beard, as well as the vocabulary being somewhat similar when he forages around in the pantry for food. My 15yr old daughter i call Mooks, and she'd kill me if she knew i spilt the beans on why...so i shan't :-) They are what i consider 'terms of endearment'<<----<<<just so we stay on topic ;-) |
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Yep if you don;t have some sort of knick name for somebody then they cannot mean anything to you. They would have to that you canot stand. Although we do have names for those as well, but they are better left off the terms of endearment pages.
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Interesting posts! Thanks...We're definitely learning a lot about each other's culture...I guess I was taught to "wait" when it comes to calling people playful or affectionate names. (To "wait" for closeness in the relationship.)...So this is why I wouldn't call strangers "honey" or "sweetie" or other terms like this. (Because this would imply that we're "close" when we're not!)...I always had "pet names" for my kids and husband and maybe a few other close relatives and friends...But when it comes to strangers and people I don't know well it's different. It's almost as if we're suppose to earn the right to use terms of endearment with people. (When we get "close" to them.)...Basically I was taught that it's not "proper" to call people affectionate names unless I have some type of "mutual bond" with them...It's interesting to try to decipher what we've been taught. (And all of the "rules" and "bylaws" and "mandates" of our culture.) Don't you think?
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Edited by
GreenEyes48
on
Tue 08/21/12 06:43 AM
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As a kid I knew I was in "trouble" if my parents (or other relatives) called me by my "full" name. (My first and middle name together.) How about you?
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navygirl...Great that you receive so much respect. (On and off duty.)...My husband was Asst. Fire Chief when the very first female firefighter entered his crew... Most of the male firefighters handled it well but a couple of guys had to be "set straight" a few times...Does the navy teach classes about "male and female relations" and sexual harrassment etc.? Actually; yes the Navy gives courses on being politically correct and what is considered sexual harassment. Fortunately; the men I served with were smart enough to know how to treat me with respect before these classes were ever introduced. Fact is I was there boss at times so calling me sweetie and honey wouldn't have been acceptable. |
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navygirl...Great that you receive so much respect. (On and off duty.)...My husband was Asst. Fire Chief when the very first female firefighter entered his crew... Most of the male firefighters handled it well but a couple of guys had to be "set straight" a few times...Does the navy teach classes about "male and female relations" and sexual harrassment etc.? Actually; yes the Navy gives courses on being politically correct and what is considered sexual harassment. Fortunately; the men I served with were smart enough to know how to treat me with respect before these classes were ever introduced. Fact is I was there boss at times so calling me sweetie and honey wouldn't have been acceptable. |
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It's very true what Josie says.. The Aussies like to take a name and jazza it up a bit so that if you go by the name of Darren, you'll soon know you're in the presence of Aussieism when you hear Dazza...or if your name is Barry..it becomes Bazza. Sharon becomes Shazza, Warren becomes Wazza, and so on and so forth. IF, though you happen to be a redhead...then it's just Bluey. Where that came from i have no idea, but ya just go with it. The term "mate" is used as frequently as one blinks...even when they're pissed off with you. Ha!..you know it's not going to end well when an Aussie says Maaaate. :-) I would fit in good there haha. We all have nicknames in our circle... Slut, funky bunch, minachs, crystaloca....whatever your name is you can lose that when you walk through the doors hahaha 
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navygirl...Great that you receive so much respect. (On and off duty.)...My husband was Asst. Fire Chief when the very first female firefighter entered his crew... Most of the male firefighters handled it well but a couple of guys had to be "set straight" a few times...Does the navy teach classes about "male and female relations" and sexual harrassment etc.? Actually; yes the Navy gives courses on being politically correct and what is considered sexual harassment. Fortunately; the men I served with were smart enough to know how to treat me with respect before these classes were ever introduced. Fact is I was there boss at times so calling me sweetie and honey wouldn't have been acceptable. Well; overall its not in our culture to address women with honey or sweetie, so I would say no these guys would not slip back to that. We are taught to address people by their names or titles and not in a familiar way. I don't know many Canadians that would call a complete stranger honey or sweetie and for sure they would not address their boss that way. I do agree it can be interesting when different cultures meet up and try to relate. |
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It's very true what Josie says.. The Aussies like to take a name and jazza it up a bit so that if you go by the name of Darren, you'll soon know you're in the presence of Aussieism when you hear Dazza...or if your name is Barry..it becomes Bazza. Sharon becomes Shazza, Warren becomes Wazza, and so on and so forth. IF, though you happen to be a redhead...then it's just Bluey. Where that came from i have no idea, but ya just go with it. The term "mate" is used as frequently as one blinks...even when they're pissed off with you. Ha!..you know it's not going to end well when an Aussie says Maaaate. :-) I would fit in good there haha. We all have nicknames in our circle... Slut, funky bunch, minachs, crystaloca....whatever your name is you can lose that when you walk through the doors hahaha
haha...with a name like slut, you'd fit in anywhere hahaha |
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navygirl...Great that you receive so much respect. (On and off duty.)...My husband was Asst. Fire Chief when the very first female firefighter entered his crew... Most of the male firefighters handled it well but a couple of guys had to be "set straight" a few times...Does the navy teach classes about "male and female relations" and sexual harrassment etc.? Actually; yes the Navy gives courses on being politically correct and what is considered sexual harassment. Fortunately; the men I served with were smart enough to know how to treat me with respect before these classes were ever introduced. Fact is I was there boss at times so calling me sweetie and honey wouldn't have been acceptable. Well; overall its not in our culture to address women with honey or sweetie, so I would say no these guys would not slip back to that. We are taught to address people by their names or titles and not in a familiar way. I don't know many Canadians that would call a complete stranger honey or sweetie and for sure they would not address their boss that way. I do agree it can be interesting when different cultures meet up and try to relate. |
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