Topic: Does arguing help
ezas123's photo
Sat 08/11/12 03:04 PM
help'd get me on the couch..

Simonedemidova's photo
Sat 08/11/12 03:08 PM

help'd get me on the couch..


On the couch and off the computer, what are you talking about?

ezas123's photo
Sat 08/11/12 03:13 PM
last big arguement w/ex got me sleeping on the couch, no makeing up with her 4 2days.. it wasnt good

Simonedemidova's photo
Sat 08/11/12 03:16 PM

last big arguement w/ex got me sleeping on the couch, no makeing up with her 4 2days.. it wasnt good


Ahhhh so was t good when you finally made up? I never got kicked to the couch before, but I gladly chose it for my own sanity!

no photo
Sat 08/11/12 03:40 PM
No, I don't see a point in arguing. Discussing, debating and having different opinions on things, sure.... but not arguing. If anything I find it draining and only successful in creating a negative feeling between myself and whomever I am having the argument with. I prefer feeling positive in things like relationships.

If someone wants to argue, they can do it with themselves, I am less than interested.

Simonedemidova's photo
Sat 08/11/12 03:43 PM
Yep, it's a turn off for me, in most cases.

PacificStar48's photo
Sat 08/11/12 03:52 PM
While it might be nice to talk about concepts and ideas I don't want to argue with the person I want for a mate. I don't need to compete. I want a companion.

Kahurangi's photo
Sat 08/11/12 03:57 PM
Banter can be fun when done with humour & wit. Arguing for the sake of arguing is kinda boring.

blueeyes2000's photo
Sat 08/11/12 04:12 PM

Banter can be fun when done with humour & wit. Arguing for the sake of arguing is kinda boring.



Pointless too,lol

no photo
Sat 08/11/12 05:35 PM
I think it's good to learn what someone feels about something and cool to accept that it might be different from my own view, but when it gets to the point of hitting the ole anxiety button I have no more room for it. My life depends on me being in a positive Vibe place to be productive.

You know it's not all that hard to see when someone is trying to hit others buttons. Often times they try to put some kind of blame attached to their words, or suggest that you have a particular condition. Or, they say they are curious to have you explain yourself when in reality it is clear that they have an interrogating nature and don't know how to let the other person feel comfortable with their own view as having value, if even only for them.

One of the professors at SUNY always said "it's not wrong, it's different"

no photo
Sat 08/11/12 05:52 PM
Edited by Leigh2154 on Sat 08/11/12 06:01 PM
Does arguing help?smokin What kind of question is that!!?!!:angry: Everybody knows arguing is WRONGmad SO IS SHOUTING!! DON"T EVER SHOUT AT ME!!!...??!!!?! DO YOU HEAR ME??rant I ASKED YOU A QUESTION, DO!!... YOU!!.... HEAR!!... ME!!rant mad ...ARE YOU DEAF???:angry: ...STOP ARGUING AND ANSWER ME DAMNIT!!!explode

laugh

Simonedemidova's photo
Sat 08/11/12 05:56 PM

Does arguring help?smokin What kind of question is that!!?!!:angry: Everybody knows arguing is WRONGmad SO IS SHOUTING!! DON"T EVER SHOUT AT ME!!!...??!!!?! DO YOU HEAR ME??rant I ASKED YOU A QUESTION, DO!!... YOU!!.... HEAR!!... ME!!rant mad ...ARE YOU DEAF???:angry: ...STOP ARGUING AND ANSWER ME DAMNIT!!!explode

laugh


Nicely translated, LOL

Simonedemidova's photo
Sat 08/11/12 05:57 PM

I think it's good to learn what someone feels about something and cool to accept that it might be different from my own view, but when it gets to the point of hitting the ole anxiety button I have no more room for it. My life depends on me being in a positive Vibe place to be productive.

You know it's not all that hard to see when someone is trying to hit others buttons. Often times they try to put some kind of blame attached to their words, or suggest that you have a particular condition. Or, they say they are curious to have you explain yourself when in reality it is clear that they have an interrogating nature and don't know how to let the other person feel comfortable with their own view as having value, if even only for them.

One of the professors at SUNY always said "it's not wrong, it's different"


I feel that way about most people's opinions, it's not wrong, it's different and I do value difference and diversity, without it, life is a big snore!asleep asleep

msharmony's photo
Sat 08/11/12 05:57 PM
I guess its semantics, but although I dont mind a discussion with different opinions,, when it feels like 'arguing' ,, it becomes a turn off immediately.


I cant pinpoint what that line is,, but I think its when it starts feeling personal or 'Im right, you are wrong', kind of thing.

When we can both say, we agree to disagree, and still think just as highly of each other,,,thats fine.

Simonedemidova's photo
Sat 08/11/12 06:00 PM
But when do you walk away ?

msharmony's photo
Sat 08/11/12 06:05 PM
Edited by msharmony on Sat 08/11/12 06:07 PM

But when do you walk away ?


usually when I begin to feel the other person is 'talking down' to me, condescending , or getting personal with subtle insults,,,,


or when its clear they are arguing just to evoke response and not to really learn or teach anything,,,

in these threads, when more and more of the posts become PERSONAL, and the actual topic is mentioned or discussed less and less,,,,

its time to go on to another thread

oh, also when people begin blatantly twisting words and using circular logic and arguing semantics,,,,


big red flag

Simonedemidova's photo
Sat 08/11/12 06:09 PM
Edited by Simonedemidova on Sat 08/11/12 06:10 PM
See, when you say circular logic, that is what I am talking about. Exactly what I mean. Why do people continue to engage in circular logic when the topic is caught in a vortex. I don't grasp the meaning behind it, is it for flirtations or for boredom? What gives? I see it a lot in the forums...

msharmony's photo
Sat 08/11/12 06:15 PM

See, when you say circular logic, that is what I am talking about. Exactly what I mean. Why do people continue to engage in circular logic when the topic is caught in a vortex. I don't grasp the meaning behind it, is it for flirtations or for boredom? What gives? I see it a lot in the forums...




I think its boredom, desperation to keep the thread going,,lol

Simonedemidova's photo
Sat 08/11/12 06:19 PM


See, when you say circular logic, that is what I am talking about. Exactly what I mean. Why do people continue to engage in circular logic when the topic is caught in a vortex. I don't grasp the meaning behind it, is it for flirtations or for boredom? What gives? I see it a lot in the forums...




I think its boredom, desperation to keep the thread going,,lol


Oh, because I was reading your creflo thread and it felt sort of circular and I wondered if funches was turned on by your defensive strengths or something.

msharmony's photo
Sat 08/11/12 06:22 PM



See, when you say circular logic, that is what I am talking about. Exactly what I mean. Why do people continue to engage in circular logic when the topic is caught in a vortex. I don't grasp the meaning behind it, is it for flirtations or for boredom? What gives? I see it a lot in the forums...




I think its boredom, desperation to keep the thread going,,lol


Oh, because I was reading your creflo thread and it felt sort of circular and I wondered if funches was turned on by your defensive strengths or something.



lol

thats one of the threads I had in mind

the religion and politics threads often end up that way and I just decide eventually to move on to another thread and 'walk away' to let others continue,,,,