Is this still frowned upon and considered adultery? Would you go out with a person, "separated" and consider a future with them? I personally would not, I would always wonder if they did it to one spouse, they would do it to another. I feel it diminishes integrity and honor of the vows one took. I would prefer the person "clean up one house" so to speak, before window shopping for another.

What say you?

Sunshine

It depends if they are in an open, or polyamorous relationship. If they are stepping out on their partner without the other partner knowing, and being deceitful that is adultery. I tend to shy away from those who are still married, or separated. After a serious relationship it takes time to sort your heart out, and hopefully one has taken the time to reflect on the entire relationship. I love your outlook on it, and your values.

if they prefer on having a open relationship/marriage
all power to them

when i was with my ex hubby way before we got married he wanted a open relationship.. i didnt.. but he went to bed with this girl i knew and he knew i was mad, and he said well we agree..

well no i didnt actually agree
we didnt have that open relationship very long

we broke up so many time before we got married
he thought he was gods gift to woman... i dont think so

i only time i truly talk to him now
it would be based around our son

Hi Queene, thanks for the response. Wow, I felt pain there. I take it personal. Bless your heart. I don't want my partner stepping out, first I feel up front we would have an understanding that is a "no no" and 2nd, I would not trust they all wore protection and not bring anything home any STD to me. Nope, wouldn't do it!

Sunshine, thank you for your comment too. I agree, it takes a toll on one to go through legal proceedings and I don't want to bring a new person into that baggage, "clean it up". I have also seen hearts broken by empty words from "separated" people and the couple gets back together and you feel lied to and "used".

I want a clean slate, I would not feel right dating a separated person. First of all, I would have to believe they were getting a divorce, (not always true), Second, taking that chance, I would want to hear the other spouses confirmation as in my case, I could not knowingly hurt another woman if they were deceiving me. It all boils down to trouble, and risky behaviour, on many levels.

Actually the two really have nothin in common here. The question was if one would feel ok about dating a married woman. Dating and sex truly have absolutely nothing to do with one another all in all. Sex is an action alot to most people choose to do, but just because two are dating, doesn't mean they are having sex.

As far as I am concerned, if you feel the need to date someone else, maybe you should take a good look at your marriage. i would never agree to an open relationship, when I finally get married, my spouse is with me not other people.

Frankly, as long as they don't try to date me, I don't shive a git
what married people do or don't do.

as i stated the ex hubby cheated before during and after
i kicked him out of the house 4 differnt times
and the 4th was the last
while we were separated his step brother introduced him to this girl
they were together for awhile and they had a child
he ended up cheating on her of course
and that girl he cheated on with.. he had told her that we were already divorced... which we wernt it wasent final yet.. so yea he lied through his teeth.. that was normal for him
well any how they had a child together and they eventually got married
they have been married for 20yrs(he has 6kids and my son is the oldest 25yrs the youngest is 21)
i have talked to him on the phone and in person over the last 5yrs
the main reason i got in touch with him the first time
was our son was admited in the hospitol in icu where we almost lost him
i had to harass his freaken dad for 2 days to come down to see his son.
the last time he had seen him was when he was 2yrs old(GREAT DAD HUH...NOTTTT!!)
no one in my family wanted me to contact him,, but i felt it was the right thing to do

EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!!

Exactly, thought that was one of the reasons for being "married". To show the commitment to the other. To lay down your life to live for the other.

Why would someone have an "open" relationship? Especially in a marriage. That again, is the reason of the "marriage". Because if they are just going to have an open relationship, there would be absoultely no reason to be married.

I personally don't like people who say they are married pretending they are single and bringing that drama in other peoples lives.

It is really miserable for the person who things they are finding a mate and then discovers it was a con job.

It is miserable for the extended family that doesn't know how the heck to cope with the whole situation.

It is a pain in the neck for society because rarely do any kind of mutual dependable financial relationships come out of that sort of situation. Tennants moving in and out, bills paid late or not at all, bounced checks, people quiting jobs or bringing drama in to the work place, car and other property crimes, wasteing the police and courts time.

All that drama usually means someone is going to get hurt in the "cross fire" that is eventually going to happen and that costs all tax payers in higher public services costs. Police officers shot or injured in domestic violence calls, fire personel injured in arson fires, social workers injured in "field work, foster parents being underpaid for years.

All the emotional fall out. Parents, kids, siblings.

Lowered productivity on the job site when so many people are in crisis. Or kids are in school. You show me a kid who is a drop out, suicideal, pre-adolecent smoker/drinker/drug user I will show you a kid in a drama filled home usually related to cheating.

It is not a victimless crime.

Of course married people should go out on dates....thats what date night is for, right???

Why are people on here that are separated? Looking? Married? I just don't get it. Why did you form a contract and a union if you are going to see other people??? There are "separted people on here trying to date. JMO, I want nothing to do with you, if you don't keep your intitial agreement then for sure I cannot expect you to keep a contract with me. No way.

with themselfs
NOT WITH OTHERS

I don't see any problem dating someone who is separated.

Divorce costs a lot of money and time, takes a couple of years too if I remember that right, then again that's over here maybe it's different in the states. -I wouldn't knock someone back just cause they don't have divorce papers.

What they cant couples date??

Wait, I thought this was a question about dating someone who is ''SEPARATED''? Then some of you mention an ''OPEN RELATIONSHIP''?

Confused.com which is it?

I concur.

I know many people feel that married and separated are the same thing and in some cases that may be true. I was separated for over a year and the divorced papers were filed and agreed by both my ex and myself. We had been in a name only marriage for several years and neither of us dated during that time. So when I went on my first date I was separated and 3 months later divorced. I had taken time to get my life in order and I knew there was no going back. However according to your terms I was married and cheating. I never broke my vows and since the divorce was just a matter of a legality I have a different opinion.

I think every situation is unique.