While I am all for technology and all the new fancy smartphones, I can not agree with this. No one HAS to have a cell phone and they shouldn't have to make an excuse for not having one. He has a phone with a local phone number... she does not. I understand not wanting to change your number but to get all bent out of shape like she did is ridiculous. Unless your friend asked her in a way that implied she needed to change her number for him.... then I would tell him to bugger off too.

oops double post

All I know is what he told me. He asked her if she had thought about getting a local number. She went ape shyt on him.

I had the same thing happen to me back about a year ago. I met this woman on POF. We started exchanging messages. She was in my area code. So, I never thought anything about it until she gave me her number. It looked odd ball to me. So, I asked her about the number. It was a Canadian number. She had moved here from Winnipeg. She still hadn't changed her number.

I asked her the same question he asked this other woman. She did the same way. Tried to fuss me out. Me being me,She got her eyes full when she got my return message.

It seems to me this is something that could be avoided. Whatever state you are going to move to, Get a number from there. End of problem.

And what you said about sounding like he wanted her to change her number for him. OK, hypothetically, Lets go down that road. What's so wrong with that in the long run? I mean, It seems common sense to me to either change the number anyway, OR, Get another phone to use locally. If you have been talking to the guy or gal through messaging and everything is going smooth. Seems like you wouldn't want that conversation to stop over a phone number. Especially if you're clicking well.


Seems to me common sense. But then again, This problem shouldn't come up to start with. You move to another state, DO AS THE ROMANS DO, LOL Get a number from your new area one way or the other.

When this woman tried to do this to me. She made me feel like I was supposed to feel privileged to call her. Even if it was long distance. She was just so great and grand I was supposed to suck it up and pay out the wazoo. And feel good about it because she was gracing me with her presence on the other end of the line. I laugh about it now. But at the time it happend, I was hot.

Sounds like she made a false promise. Or maybe she just forgot. When you're offline and busy with other things, you can easily forget. I felt this way earlier. I got a bit upset by a letter sent to me. That's besides the point thoigh. Maybe she just got busy.

If you're meeting people online, it would be a good idea to get a throw away, for your own safety.

Thank you (hi BTW, good to see you)

She can call him as easy as he her.

And I have to say these days cells really are a better deal than land lines. Mine is $35 per month unlimited. The phone was only $40 itself.

Does this mean bugger off twice?

I live in Maryland, but have a cell phone number that is not a Maryland number. Am I going to change that just because someone wants to call an instate number? No.

There are various phone options you can use. If you only have a landline that does not have long distance, perhaps you can look into a voip phone instead? They're affordable and you won't have to worry about long distance.

I think what it comes down to is that if you're worried about being able to call someone, make sure you have a phone that you're able to call on, whether it's a landline with a good long distance plan, voip with free long distance or magic jack with the same. Or, just make it clear that you need them to call you. Whatever works best.

These days, there's really no need to be changing numbers if you move to a new state. I've been back in Maryland for a year and a half and there's been absolutely no reason at all for me to change my number. I certainly would not do so for someone I didn't know.

I guess we are at logger heads here. Right now my phone bill is 22 bucks a month. My friends is 26. The only good idea I have seen posted here so far is magic jack. I've heard of it. But I didn't think about it. Nether did he.

Besides that, My friend and I feel the same way. Some say they will not change there number just to talk to a stranger. Well, We say we feel no need to add to our bill to talk to a stranger either.

I've noticed, At least in my part of the world that if you ask some women if they would mind calling you,And explain to them why, That's the last you hear from them. They seem to take it like you asked them to fu@#. Like it's a big deal. Heck, I've had them to tell me that they let nothing get in the way of them finding love. But when asked if they would mind calling me, Well, That's the end of that. My friend has had that to happen to him to.

People in general are strange. Even stranger on dating sites.

no. I dont think anyone should feel obligated to have any bill in their life that they dont want on the off chance someone may like them. Its just as easy to like people in the area or that you meet out and about. If one is going to pursue someone with a long distance number, they can either

not call
or bite the bullet and make the financial sacrifice themself
or ask the other person to make the sacrifice

No one is making you call anyone and you cannot make them call you. If you don't want to change phone plans, no problem. You just cannot expect women to change their number for you either. Another option that someone mentioned earlier would be skype. It's free to download and use as long as you're using it to call someone else's computer. Why not try that?

When are you asking them to call? How long after chatting online? If some guy emailed me and asked me to call right away, I'd say no. If we've had a few good conversations and seemed to be hitting it off well, no problem.

I think vonage is $25 a month and would solve this problem.

Exactly. That's why I mentioned voip earlier. It seems that he's insistent on making it someone else's issue.

Anyway, per Vonage's website, they have a deal for $9.99 for the first three months, then $24.99 after that with a 1 year contract. That's for unlimited calling and includes the US and Canada. Or, if you want just 300 minutes/month, it's $11.99/month. 750 minutes/month would be $19.99/month. All cheap plans.

http://www.vonage.com/us-canada-calling-plans/?lid=right_side_us_and_canada_mid

The gist of this issue is that you and your friend are likely to run into this again. If it's worth it to you to invest in a different phone service then great, if not then understand that they don't want to change theirs either. Neither of you is wrong or out of line (no where in here did it say he asked her to change her number so he could call her) but I do think her response was a little dramatic. There should be no expectation either way... it just is what it is.

I was waiting till this evening to reply to this thread anymore. I wanted to see if this last lady I was talking to would be any different from any other.

I've been talking to this woman every night now on POF for about a week. Everything has been going smooth. I already knew we were about 75 miles apart. I been waiting to see if she would bring it up. She finally did last night. I asked her if she thought we were to far apart. Her answer was NO. She said she didn't limit herself when it came to finding love. She wouldn't let anything get in her way.

Now, With me being me I just had to find a way to test it. She gave me her phone number. I knew before hand it was going to be long distance. I asked her if she would mind calling me. I explained why. I know she has a cell because she also asked if I could TXT her. (I hate TXTing)I know that most cell phone plans have nights & weekends free.

I haven't heard a peep out of her since. She has been on several times without answering. To me this is one of my ways of weeding out the full of shyt. The ones that are talking out the side of their neck.

A lot of them spout off like this. I don't know about every man. But a lot of men will test you to see if you mean what you say. Some are pretty slick about it.

If you tell me that you don't let anything get in your way. Not even distance, But you will let something as simple as a phone call do it, Makes me feel like I dodged a bullet. You're not serious. Your just talking and don't mean what you say. You're showing me that I can't take you serious.


This is one of the reasons why I and my friend will not bend a little about our phones. To many quirky, weird people. This is a way of weeding them out. Doesn't work every time. But it does work.

In the end, it all depends on how much your friend wants a relationship with this particular woman. Of course, if the woman thought she had some competition, then perhaps she'd call him.

So it isn't about the phone bill as much, but more about getting the women to do what you want.

I agree that it shouldnt even be this big a deal, Two people decide if they want to know each other and how much they are willing to do to meet that goal.


its no worse for one not to want to change than it is for the other (who, by asking the first person to change something, kind of implies they dont wish to)