If he pays, great. If we go dutch, great.

However, if it's a bad date as in he misrepensented himself, then I expect him to pay and won't offer to go dutch.

I guess the way I look at it is a date to me is more about getting to know the person and seeing how well we hit it off, rather than worrying about money. If I'm worrying about who is paying, it's clear the date isn't going well.

it depends,, if he has asked me out. we go in one vehicle and then he waits for me to pay,, second date is not likely

if he has asked me to 'meet him' at a location, where I have the option to come and go whenever I please, I dont really consider it a date as much as I do a 'hook up' or 'hang out' session, and I might do it again,,,,

It's only a date if you ride together? Strange.

thats my thing

a date means, picking me up

a meeting means, traveling seperately and meeting up,,,

If that's your thing, that's your thing. I'd have to completely disagree, though. But, if being that picky about what a date is works for you, awesome. It wouldn't make sense for me, as I live in a downtown area. If someone is coming down here for a date, I am not going to make them come pick me up when I can just as easily walk to where we're going for our date. To me, that does not make it any less of a date.

How can you disagree that this is her thing? Point she is making is just that, "this is her thing". You can have your own thing. She's not being that picky either. She is only stating "her thing". You have a completely different setup than Msharmony does, we get that, but it doesn't make her thing any less workable than yours.

As you can see, I was just disagreeing on what made it a date. You know, giving my own opinion. Not telling her she can't think what she'd like.

,,,

meeting up feels more like an opportunity to leave seperately because you came seperately,,thats all

dating is kind of a commitment for the night to stay together,,,

but in the end it doesnt matter if its called a date or not,, if you click and enjoy each others company

If I were getting together with someone I'm interested in, whether he's taking me somewhere, or we're meeting up somewhere, it's certainly a date. For me, there's no time commitment on a date, nor do we have to go home together for it to be a date.

I think it is cool to go dutch..maybe he does dinner ..I do drinks..or vice versa.

I expect the man to pay for the first date. After that I am open to paying or dutch. If I am not interested in him during the first date I will pay.

This is how I feel too. Maybe anytime time you have plans with somebody could be called a date. For instance lunch dates with friends etc. Do you agree?

I don't call getting together with friends dates. I save that for someone I'm interested in as more than friends.

No wonder guys get confused! Some women expect them to pay, some are ok with going dutch and some will pay only if they're not interested.

Really? ok? I call dating that ,but not going on a date.

I don't understand this. Are you in the 90%, in the 10%, or am I correct in reading this that for you the condition of who picks up the tab is immaterial in your decision making process whether to see the individual again or not.

Because percentile is a funny thing. It actually points at instances with a certain score or value in statistic, which is not interpretable by the graph, but only useful for humanoid (not math) use.

A percentile in math is something like a letter B on the computer screen. The computer only knows electric currents, namely, a 1 and a 0. Humans don't know how to read electric currents, even if it was led through their bodies. BUT a computer can be made to form the image of B on a screen, which humans can read, and a human can manipulate his expression of B to mean something specific to the computer, and that something specific is only when a human means to say B.

Similarly, in interpretive or descriptive statistical math, a percentile is not something that exists in an actual instant, and to humans it is instantly understood and is instructional. The math on the other hand can work with graphs and functions perfectly and happily, but try to make a human figure out the integral funcion of a bell curve or a t-distribution curve, and they will need to do it with numerical method, not with intuitive and analytical methods.

So, since 90th percentile does not exist in math, only in the highly intuitive and interpretive mind of a human... and since I am probability distribution function placed outside my computer for some strange reason... please enlighten me as to my dilemma, as worded in the first paragraph of this post.

That also is a good seguay... I do dinner... you do drinks... then we do each other.

Perfect.

I always, but always offer to pick up the tab the first date. But women usually don't let me.

They don't let me coz they KNOW FOR SURE that there is no chance for a second date.

The women I ask are usually well-brought up, moral, ethical people, so they don't feel right about a free ride. They are also the kind who are well-versed in social conventions, and this is their way of making it sure I understand the connotation.

At this point I put the cart before the horse, and try to convince them to come out on a second date, and therefore I vehemently insist that I pay.

Mostly they still refuse to accept.

Then follows the hand-to-hand combat for the tab, and the loud and obnoxious exchange of unpleasantries at the cashier's desk.

So this is not a contentious issue in my case. You should see my contentious issues on dates -- that usually decimates the population of a coffee- drinking and -imbibing establishment, the police is brought in, and somebody usually winds up as the accused at a sitting in front of a congressional ethics committee or in front of the Crimes Against Humanity Tribunal.

I don't think that the confusion starts with the guys.

The confusion starts with the word "date". It is one of the worst diluted, wide-meaning, ambitiously incusive word which leaves the most to the imagination as to its meaning and this meaning can be different for everyone involved in the communicative process in which this word is used.

- we are dating -- could mean pre-sex platonic seeing each other, exploration-like, or could mean serious business, with sex, lion tamers and electric torture devices all included.

- we are going on a date -- could be coffee meetin to some, but not to others, who call it a first meet-and-greet

- we are going on a date -- could be a second or third date, with dinner, flowers, gypsy musicians, and the guy is expected to pay, or could be the same thing with the woman expected to pay, or could be neither, with both expected to pay, or could be both, with neither expected to pay.

- I'm going on a hot date tonight -- could mean it's pretty sure sex is in the making, or it could mean that one is ready and the other is not, or both are ready or neither, but they are confused.

- we are getting married next June -- this is a date, too. In fact, it is THE date, the big one, it is the DATE of all Dates.