You asked someone not to personalize the topic about you. But by creating this topic, you assigned the belief to yourself, and you basically just called anyone who is lonely selfish.



Some can take it more personally than others. If you do not carry those personal feelings, you damn well should make sure you do not word it as such.

By my reading, you feel that loneliness = selfishness. I think that is bollocks personally. I think this thread is bollocks personally. Don't take it personally.

That is all.

That is not all
That is enough.

better keep your damn fault in understanding to yourself rather than blaming others.

So don't call lonely people selfish and then cry because they call you a jerk.

Apparently you are too sensitive to be asking such questions and then dealing with the responses.

ummm,,,no

loneliness reflects to mean inability to feel connected to others

not necessarily an unwillingness to,,,,,

Hell,you mind your business please & don't call me jerk.I don't need your permission for posting my opinion,neither I bother about barking.

Keep your prejudiced thoughts about me in their deserving place ( your mind).Hell,I don't expect any responses from coward people like you.
& you should not bother about,what I'm trying for getting RESPONSES even if whatever you are saying is true.

Oh I see. You wanted a thread with no responses from anybody except those who agreed with you.

That makes perfect sense now. Best pack a lunch you may be in for a long wait.

Maybe he will be lonely because of his selfishness and in ability to understand why others are lonely. Im lonely cause I live alone, duh!

Nop bro,Threads are meant for responses,my expectation that it should not be personalized is not exceptional,I guess.Why would I expect only aligning responses..nop,I'm not expecting that.

You are trying to push me down ,do you really think that is fair?

BTW...my DINNER is already over & I'm simultaneously working,don't you worry much. How about yours??

Okay...will be...

& why are you lonely because of being alone?

In my opinion everyone is alone in some or other way,whole world is CROWD of ALL ALONE.

The real question is why are you alone & why are you lonely because of being alone....?

Do you have any answer without cursing me of becoming lonely??

Post if you have a genuine answer,else just leave it.no worries.

duh duh

I think you mean people who are alone as opposed to lonely.

And, no I don't agree. People are alone for many reasons and often they would be very happy to have someone special in their lives.

But, for those who choose to be alone, maybe it's selfishness and maybe it's not. Who really cares why they do it? Some people stay in a relationship for selfish reasons as well. Whatever.

Nice of you to judge! Well I am lonely and not selfish. So far
all the females I have talked to have been scam or con artists.
Many said they loved me and were women of God. After getting to
know them for a while they wanted money to come and I have lost
thousands and not one came as promised.
So how does a man find a honest woman out there? They all so
far say they need me to share cost of them coming to me. Are
there any who will come on their own? Also is there any place
to report scam and con artists?
All I want is an honest woman to love and be loved by. Looking
for a best friend, lover, team mate and companion in marriage
for life.

No ruth.

I mean people who remains lonely,not alone.

I see around even many FAMILIES too,who are really lonely.

I see many people ( As a well known example,say mother Teressa)who were / are alone but never remained lonely.

I think you're confusing lonely and alone. I'm not lonely, and am usually much happier without someone then with someone. I like being alone, though it would be nice to find someone to go out with occasionally.

Though in truth, I'm not really alone either, since I've got animals. But they do a far better job of just being able to sit quietly and relax. Most people have a frantic energy, and can't be still or be quiet.

OK, I am officially confused here.

I'm alone more than 99% of the time.

Sometimes I feel lonely and sometimes I don't.

Does this mean my selfishness quotient varies, based on whether I'm feeling lonely at that particular moment or not?

Because that just seems way too specious and arbitrary for me....

Just fill that 1% with a nice lady and heaven is yours.

I agree with you in theory....!

There is difference in feeling lonely & being lonely.

There is no such person who never felt lonely in life.We can't term everyone lonely for that reason,else 'lonely' word will be meaningless.

There is? How do you know you're lonely unless you have the sense, the "feeling," of it? And if you had no sense of it, or "feeling" of it, what would make you recognize yourself as being lonely?



Agreed, but I don't see what that has to do with the original premise.

Prashant, if I remember correctly, your first language is not English. It seems to me that most of the problem here is you're using the wrong words. Perhaps you meant "self-centered" in your first post rather than "selfish." In that case, I would have possibly agreed with you. There is a big difference in the meaning of those two words. Most people do think of self-centeredness as a bad thing, but it's not as completely, unequivocally negative as selfishness. Self-centeredness means being overly focused on your own thoughts and feelings (narcissism), whereas selfishness implies lack of consideration for other people, even greediness. Personally I have sometimes thought that people who talk about feeling lonely a lot may be focusing too much on their own feelings and not enough on taking action to change things. But it's still possible it comes from a chemical imbalance in the brain the way depression does. At any rate, it doesn't imply some moral failing the way selfishness does.

You also are using "lonely" in places where "alone" or "solitary" would be more appropriate, as other people have pointed out. Loneliness is a feeling. I think (but am not positive) that what you're trying to say is that people can be alone without feeling lonely, and other people can still feel lonely even when they're surrounded by people. This is a feature of loneliness which is illogical but true. It's thought that the reason is that loneliness is really about an unmet need to confide in someone. So if you don't have that need, you don't feel lonely even if you're a hermit, but if you do have it, it doesn't matter how many people are around because you can't have that kind of conversation with any of them.

My post was not "nasty," as you know the mods would have deleted it and/or warned me if it was. You overreacted. I'm sorry you felt personally attacked, but the fact is your original wording was a personal attack on anyone who has ever felt lonely.

Do share.