The thing is everyone fantasizes, daily, or weekly. So fantasizing about someone we know is a.form.of cheting, but famtasizing bout a celebrity etc isnt, imo

So, would it bother you if your partner were watching porn?

Nope!

It would, if he were to hide it or lie or watch it excessively.

Also, i gave my serious two year relationship partner a few videos and pictures of myself. Bad stupid habit and mistake I know, and yet he still.felt the need to use porn. Therefre it bothers me in thoae cases, otherwise id be fine watching it with.my.partner

Plus porn is whole diff story.
It gives people.false hopes and expectations.

I think people take porn too seriously. I've never dealt with someone who has lied about watching it, or who has been addicted to it. Sometimes, it's even fun to watch together. And other times, it's just funny.

It can be funny, and it can be fun together. I agree.
but once you meet someone who is addicted and someoe who hides watching it and lies to your face when he really has no need to lie, everything changes when it comes to your point of view on porn

Like I've said, I haven't had to deal with someone like that. So, I'm not really worried about it.

no; I have class and I would not want it done to me.

I'm sick of cheaters and then them blaming who they cheated on because "they aren't happy" or they aren't getting what they want or need.

If you are unhappy man and woman up and communicate it then. That's what adults do.

Leave the person if you are so unhappy. Don't cheat.

cheaters are losers; end of story.

cheating is doing something that you would not do if your significant other was there.

I think we all agree on "cheating is wrong", mthom... that's not the point. The question is, what IS cheating for you?

I think cheating is whatever hurts your partner (C'mon, folks, I believe a lot, but NOT that none of the people here nevereverno cheated, so don't always tell it from the point of the hurt partner!)... so the ultimate test for me is to hold on for a second and try watching the situation through the eyes of my partner - would SHE feel like she was being cheated on by what I am doing?

It IS hard, I know... especially if you are with someone like me...

You're watching porn? I'll grab myself a coke and sit down beside you - maybe I can learn something, get an idea to try out. Maybe we'll just have a good time together if the movie is good enough to get us both aroused...

You see someone that thrills you, go out with her/him, and have a good ole time in the back of his car? I'll kiss you when you come back in and ask whether it was good... AS LONG AS IT'S JUST SEX.

When you go arm in arm with someone else when we leave the bar, you're treading thin ice... if you kiss someone in a loving, non-erotic way, or cuddle with someone, because that person makes you feel good, you might be in for me scratching eyes out - first yours, then his/hers...


Cheating/not cheating is not always as easy as it sounds, and not so easily defined... plus: Whether I cheat or not, is not defined by what I consider cheating... it is defined by what my better half considers cheating...

Porn is not cheating. If it is, I will have to give up my romance novels which are really just porn for women.

Porn becomes a problem when it creates unrealistic expectations in a relationship. Real men are not the men in romance novels and real women are not the women in porn movies and magazines that men enjoy. There's nothing wrong with enjoying these types of fantasies as long as you can separate reality from fantasy. Some people can't. Or they become so addicted to their fantasy life that they begin to search out partners who will fulfill their fantasies and this never leads to a healthy relationship.

It has been my experience, that someone who
will cheat on the small things, will follow
that path along the way.

Ever watched someone play a game?
Tis the best way to see how they win.

I agree with Totage on this. If you have to see someone other than your mate to "get your moter running" then your mate only pretending with you. If you genuinely love someone they are the hottest ticket on the block even if they are old, wrinkled, and any other forms of imperfections; the eyes will see through the heart.

Very true. There is a reason in poker it is not so much learning just how to play the cards but to play the players "tells". Kind of interesting that is is called the same thing huh?

Well, if you see it like this, then any partner you have would be cheating on you... One more reason to communicate how you feel about cheating!?

To me, cheating is when you engage in sex with someone who is not your partner, spouse, etc. We can get technical about this. Is kissing another cheating? Is fantasizing about another cheating? When it comes down to it, when you commit the physical act, then you have crossed the point of no return.

In general terms I think this is a poor definition.

It is not the partners responsibility to set limits on their mate about fidelity.

It is an enternal boundry that some people just do not have and it makes them very poor mates because it puts a lot more at risk than just feelings of their boundries being violated.

. Cheating is an absence of self respect in my books. The cheater never feels they have enough and is always seeking more sometimes even when the mate is ready, willing, able to their bidding and often just has. I have seen too many cases of where the cheater had intimacy with theri partner only hours before an episode of cheating.

I am fairly certain with a lot of the online cheating that the mate is right there in the hoom maybe ieven in the room as their nate cheates.

And if you are tangled up with a cheater there will ALWAYS be a way that they will find to cheat no matter how you try to limit the access.

Especially ones like Lord Of The G-Strings and Edward Penishands.

I don't think that is true because there is a level where if you really love someone you just see no need . Yes you may occassionally have a thought and check yourself but you don't allow yourself to "go ther" so to speak. I was a military wife for years and don't kid yourself you have desires when your spouse is away but you either fatazize about them or you distract yourself with other thoughts and activitieis. LOL there is a reason my house was FI clean when my man came home and there isn't a weed in the garden now .