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| Topic: dedication ladies? | |
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Think you misunderstood ma honey  or I didn’t make myself clear...what I was attempting to say is that when I'm actively looking, my door is completely open but like most single people, I get demoralised or get chatting to someone etc and I take a break for a little while to recharge my batteries so to speak before starting again.
Also, as you (probably know), it's emotionally and mentally draining to be looking for a mate all the time. Oh, I’m under absolutely no illusions about a mythical knight sweeping me off me feet. I’m a firm believer in making my own destiny 
Ah, ok. I did misunderstand. Thanks for clarifying.
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I guess I just think dedication is an odd word to use there. On another site, there are lots of questions to answer. One was asking if dedication or passion was more important in a relationship. For me, dedication would not come until later on, once we've established wanting to be in a relationship. Until then, it's being open to something and then passion once it starts. Otherwise, there will be nothing to be dedicated to. Perhaps dedication is not the best word to use. But it is not a dedication to the person or the relationship I'm talking about. I guess I'm not explaining myself very well. I do understand what you're saying. For me, dedication isn't the right word, because I'm not just searching for someone. well thats what i mean if someone isn't searching for someone then they oughtta post it in their profile...just don't mislead us guys on and lie about why your here...im not perfect or claiming i want someone perfect but honesty 4 me at least goes much farther than just words and pictures used to tell your story when your lying about it....im saying that that person doing so isn't right for complaining about something they themselves are footing My profile is clear about the age ranges/distance when it comes to dating. However it does say that I am here for the forums and looking for friendship. So, I think that's clear enough. Does that mean I won't find someone I'm interested in? No. But it does mean that I don't use this site to actively look for men to meet. |
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In my case, although at times, I may not be actively looking for someone, that doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t pursue a possible match based on his profile and/or email exchanges. By stating that I’m not looking closes the door completely when in actual fact, it is half open. I go through phases where I’m actively looking...think I’ve met someone, it doesn’t work out and I need ‘getting over’ time. I’m not going to change my profile if I’m only taking a breather nor (if I’m honest), will I discourage someone if he contacts/emails me during that time. You may call this game playing, I call it leaving my options open. I know this is slightly different than what you’re saying but it is kinda similar in a way. I understand where you are coming from. But I don't believe anyone will just come along who is right for you until you open that door up all the way. I have seen a lot of folks online who don't really want a relationship but they are hoping some amazing magical person will come along and sweep them of their feet and away from all their past relationship problems. So, they kind of put out the message that they are looking. But, that magical person never comes along because there is no such person. Only real people with real flaws come along. It won't be until you open up completely and decide you're going to put in all the effort it takes to have a real relationship that he/she will come along. But most will not put in that effort. They will continue to wait to be rescued. Think you misunderstood ma honey or I didn’t make myself clear...what I was attempting to say is that when I'm actively looking, my door is completely open but like most single people, I get demoralised or get chatting to someone etc and I take a break for a little while to recharge my batteries so to speak before starting again.
Also, as you (probably know), it's emotionally and mentally draining to be looking for a mate all the time. Oh, I’m under absolutely no illusions about a mythical knight sweeping me off me feet. I’m a firm believer in making my own destiny
i think a lot of people make this mistake ...but i think we can tell who is really interested and who just wants an opportunity to pull a stunt that secretly they know along thats what they are out 4 ....i like reading your posts girl;)0 |
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I guess I just think dedication is an odd word to use there. On another site, there are lots of questions to answer. One was asking if dedication or passion was more important in a relationship. For me, dedication would not come until later on, once we've established wanting to be in a relationship. Until then, it's being open to something and then passion once it starts. Otherwise, there will be nothing to be dedicated to. Perhaps dedication is not the best word to use. But it is not a dedication to the person or the relationship I'm talking about. I guess I'm not explaining myself very well. I do understand what you're saying. For me, dedication isn't the right word, because I'm not just searching for someone. well thats what i mean if someone isn't searching for someone then they oughtta post it in their profile...just don't mislead us guys on and lie about why your here...im not perfect or claiming i want someone perfect but honesty 4 me at least goes much farther than just words and pictures used to tell your story when your lying about it....im saying that that person doing so isn't right for complaining about something they themselves are footing My profile is clear about the age ranges/distance when it comes to dating. However it does say that I am here for the forums and looking for friendship. So, I think that's clear enough. Does that mean I won't find someone I'm interested in? No. But it does mean that I don't use this site to actively look for men to meet. |
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wow sofie is right the forum here is actually fun
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What would be easier is to have a site that is for the people out there that are just looking to have sex and stay off the site where people want to really find someone... Just saying I know it won't happen but it would be nice well actually there is and was for quite a few years now but you can say because of the nature of those sites,what happened was people began leaving them cause the owners started paying women to get on there with cams and do shows and that beget scammers, fake pics, you name it...the list goes on and on so that put the nail in the coffin on those sites and everyone picked up on it because of course they made forums speaking about that very subject so it was just a matter of time that those finally seized...plus, sex is a very debated subject anyhow,always was still is but to me it fits in with relationships because if two people well connect and make it that far well you know sex at some point is going to happen i think so to take that outta the relation in the first place to me just doesn't make sense ...people just have to chose 4 themselves and that will inevitabley cause frustration for others than wanted to be theirs i think |
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Im starting to question the reason why some of you women are here? So,any woman between 25 - 45 looking to meet a guy? Yes,i read your profiles but i think you just wana play games when it's been weeks since i last chatted with you....ladies again im being as about as polite as i can be i need more to work from than your picture and profile....if your not honestly ready to at least hook up for fun you need to delete me off your list...last time im saying this start showing me some dedication if you want love instead of bitching about us guys wanting sex all the time ...you need to show us your dedicated...in return for that i will let you in my life and be yours to keep and you will get my heart....im going to start dismissing what i read eventually and my interest will go just to sex ...thats not what you want, playing around is not what i want I get you John!...What I hear is this....You are here to find someone, you are ready, you joined for THAT reason.....But it's not happening because you can't "keep" a connection going in email....I know exactly what you are talking about because I have been down that road...When you ask for advice, you always hear "join in the forums, join in the forums!" " It's the best way to get to know someone, it's a good way to kill time while you wait for someone to come along."....All this is TRUE, but it doesn't apply to everyone...some peeps don't want to participate on the boards, it's just not their thing....So, how do you keep the email thing going long enough to take the next step?....You have to be able to hold another persons interest, you have to be able to stimulate their intellect, make them laugh, give them reasons to want to continue "typing"...Give them enough assurance to feel safe in trading phone numbers and private addy's with you....It's a two way street babe...Are you doing your part?..... Nicely put. |
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one more thing i forgot to mention,i prefer one on one communication with my interested girl...forums are ok but i do this to get an eye over toward my way ....i can only send soo many im's nudge without responds...thats what im getting at here ....sooner or later im going to need to find other women close enough to me that they wouldn't mind coming to meet me to also send im's to and flirt....thats why i call it dedication ...it's really weird to me for a conversation to just stop in an immediate way in the middle of it...it cannot be me if i have them over long periods of time ....so either im being played when they are active or they must not like anyone where there at so she uses another site or not looking at all/not dedicated ...or they are cheating/involved in open relations ...has to be one of those ...there isnt no date if there is nothing going on
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on a personal note i honestly think that women are catching up with men that play people....were lucky to get a single email a day if were good guys ..were the ones signing in sending emails to you women so that you can go through them and throw them all away and try to figure out ...hmmm now who's the biggest bad *** on here ...then all of our time spent emailing just to get 1 response back rarely happens....next phase is she found the biggest bad *** she ever saw and maybe a fast email then bam ...she isnt single anymore leaves the site or doesnt need to bother signing again .....but were still here ....lol aint that right ladies ...guess we better learn to go get arrested for bubba so he can have someone to drop their soap for and we can be good guys then....not a chance in hell im doing that so i guess im sol
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one more thing i forgot to mention,i prefer one on one communication with my interested girl...forums are ok but i do this to get an eye over toward my way ....i can only send soo many im's nudge without responds...thats what im getting at here ....sooner or later im going to need to find other women close enough to me that they wouldn't mind coming to meet me to also send im's to and flirt....thats why i call it dedication ...it's really weird to me for a conversation to just stop in an immediate way in the middle of it...it cannot be me if i have them over long periods of time ....so either im being played when they are active or they must not like anyone where there at so she uses another site or not looking at all/not dedicated ...or they are cheating/involved in open relations ...has to be one of those ...there isnt no date if there is nothing going on Try sending messages rather than nudges and IMs right away. Save the IMs for once you've established contact. It may work out better. |
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one more thing i forgot to mention,i prefer one on one communication with my interested girl...forums are ok but i do this to get an eye over toward my way ....i can only send soo many im's nudge without responds...thats what im getting at here ....sooner or later im going to need to find other women close enough to me that they wouldn't mind coming to meet me to also send im's to and flirt....thats why i call it dedication ...it's really weird to me for a conversation to just stop in an immediate way in the middle of it...it cannot be me if i have them over long periods of time ....so either im being played when they are active or they must not like anyone where there at so she uses another site or not looking at all/not dedicated ...or they are cheating/involved in open relations ...has to be one of those ...there isnt no date if there is nothing going on Try sending messages rather than nudges and IMs right away. Save the IMs for once you've established contact. It may work out better. |
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This is gonna go over as well as a fart in church. In my opinion, this approach will never work with women. Ultimatums never work and especially with the women on here! Those are the best kinds of farts! |
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one more thing i forgot to mention,i prefer one on one communication with my interested girl...forums are ok but i do this to get an eye over toward my way ....i can only send soo many im's nudge without responds...thats what im getting at here ....sooner or later im going to need to find other women close enough to me that they wouldn't mind coming to meet me to also send im's to and flirt....thats why i call it dedication ...it's really weird to me for a conversation to just stop in an immediate way in the middle of it...it cannot be me if i have them over long periods of time ....so either im being played when they are active or they must not like anyone where there at so she uses another site or not looking at all/not dedicated ...or they are cheating/involved in open relations ...has to be one of those ...there isnt no date if there is nothing going on Try sending messages rather than nudges and IMs right away. Save the IMs for once you've established contact. It may work out better. Many people won't respond to friend requests, nudges or IMs before chatting via email. Read profiles. Send emails based on what you enjoyed about their profile. It's not that you're not supposed to do certain things. It's just going to depend on the individual. For instance, I tend to ignore random friend requests and nudges. Some others will respond. |
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I don't respond to friend requests or nudges from people I don't know from the forums.
I will respond to email from those outside the forums but only if they have more to say than just "hi". But they never have. |
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In my case, although at times, I may not be actively looking for someone, that doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t pursue a possible match based on his profile and/or email exchanges. By stating that I’m not looking closes the door completely when in actual fact, it is half open. I go through phases where I’m actively looking...think I’ve met someone, it doesn’t work out and I need ‘getting over’ time. I’m not going to change my profile if I’m only taking a breather nor (if I’m honest), will I discourage someone if he contacts/emails me during that time. You may call this game playing, I call it leaving my options open. I know this is slightly different than what you’re saying but it is kinda similar in a way. I understand where you are coming from. But I don't believe anyone will just come along who is right for you until you open that door up all the way. I have seen a lot of folks online who don't really want a relationship but they are hoping some amazing magical person will come along and sweep them of their feet and away from all their past relationship problems. So, they kind of put out the message that they are looking. But, that magical person never comes along because there is no such person. Only real people with real flaws come along. It won't be until you open up completely and decide you're going to put in all the effort it takes to have a real relationship that he/she will come along. But most will not put in that effort. They will continue to wait to be rescued. Think you misunderstood ma honey or I didn’t make myself clear...what I was attempting to say is that when I'm actively looking, my door is completely open but like most single people, I get demoralised or get chatting to someone etc and I take a break for a little while to recharge my batteries so to speak before starting again.
Also, as you (probably know), it's emotionally and mentally draining to be looking for a mate all the time. Oh, I’m under absolutely no illusions about a mythical knight sweeping me off me feet. I’m a firm believer in making my own destiny
i think a lot of people make this mistake ...but i think we can tell who is really interested and who just wants an opportunity to pull a stunt that secretly they know along thats what they are out 4 ....i like reading your posts girl;)0 Are you flirting with me? 
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I don't respond to friend requests or nudges from people I don't know from the forums. I will respond to email from those outside the forums but only if they have more to say than just "hi". But they never have. I'm the same. |
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ok that makes sense i totally understand that about not answering friend requests from strangers ..lol matter of fact id rather chat anyway ...what i do know is this, some sites just do not work perhaps they might be created aimed at one sex,i will chat more i have tons of great things to say...
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In my case, although at times, I may not be actively looking for someone, that doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t pursue a possible match based on his profile and/or email exchanges. By stating that I’m not looking closes the door completely when in actual fact, it is half open. I go through phases where I’m actively looking...think I’ve met someone, it doesn’t work out and I need ‘getting over’ time. I’m not going to change my profile if I’m only taking a breather nor (if I’m honest), will I discourage someone if he contacts/emails me during that time. You may call this game playing, I call it leaving my options open. I know this is slightly different than what you’re saying but it is kinda similar in a way. I understand where you are coming from. But I don't believe anyone will just come along who is right for you until you open that door up all the way. I have seen a lot of folks online who don't really want a relationship but they are hoping some amazing magical person will come along and sweep them of their feet and away from all their past relationship problems. So, they kind of put out the message that they are looking. But, that magical person never comes along because there is no such person. Only real people with real flaws come along. It won't be until you open up completely and decide you're going to put in all the effort it takes to have a real relationship that he/she will come along. But most will not put in that effort. They will continue to wait to be rescued. Think you misunderstood ma honey or I didn’t make myself clear...what I was attempting to say is that when I'm actively looking, my door is completely open but like most single people, I get demoralised or get chatting to someone etc and I take a break for a little while to recharge my batteries so to speak before starting again.
Also, as you (probably know), it's emotionally and mentally draining to be looking for a mate all the time. Oh, I’m under absolutely no illusions about a mythical knight sweeping me off me feet. I’m a firm believer in making my own destiny
i think a lot of people make this mistake ...but i think we can tell who is really interested and who just wants an opportunity to pull a stunt that secretly they know along thats what they are out 4 ....i like reading your posts girl;)0 Are you flirting with me?
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