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| Topic: dedication ladies? | |
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What do you want to see that they're dedicated to? Before you actually get to know someone, you're not going to see dedication toward you. I think he means dedication to the process. The ability to go into something with a free and open heart. Doesn't meant the relationship will work out....just means you are open to the possibilities. I can be open to the possibility of meeting someone new, but I'm not dedicated to it. If it happens, it happens. and........if it doesn't, it doesn't? So you are a member here, you have a profile complete with pictures and some personal info, you participate in forums, that means you've done all you need to do to find love?.. I am not about to tell you how you feel or why you're here cause you are the ONLY one who knows, but if someone was taking bets and I was a betting woman, I would have to put my money on this horse... "You are not interested in finding love, MIngle is just a way to pass the time, a social venue, cheap intertainment".... 
I've actually taken most of my profile out. Mingle is a way to pass the time. 
If I meet someone, awesome. This is certainly not the only way to meet people, though.  So I win the bet?...
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What do you want to see that they're dedicated to? Before you actually get to know someone, you're not going to see dedication toward you. I think he means dedication to the process. The ability to go into something with a free and open heart. Doesn't meant the relationship will work out....just means you are open to the possibilities. I can be open to the possibility of meeting someone new, but I'm not dedicated to it. If it happens, it happens. and........if it doesn't, it doesn't? So you are a member here, you have a profile complete with pictures and some personal info, you participate in forums, that means you've done all you need to do to find love?.. I am not about to tell you how you feel or why you're here cause you are the ONLY one who knows, but if someone was taking bets and I was a betting woman, I would have to put my money on this horse... "You are not interested in finding love, MIngle is just a way to pass the time, a social venue, cheap intertainment"....
I've actually taken most of my profile out. Mingle is a way to pass the time.
If I meet someone, awesome. This is certainly not the only way to meet people, though. So I win the bet?...
I think anyone could have figured it out from my profile, as I say I'm here for the forums. 
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I guess I just think dedication is an odd word to use there. On another site, there are lots of questions to answer. One was asking if dedication or passion was more important in a relationship. For me, dedication would not come until later on, once we've established wanting to be in a relationship. Until then, it's being open to something and then passion once it starts. Otherwise, there will be nothing to be dedicated to. Perhaps dedication is not the best word to use. But it is not a dedication to the person or the relationship I'm talking about. I guess I'm not explaining myself very well. |
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I guess I just think dedication is an odd word to use there. On another site, there are lots of questions to answer. One was asking if dedication or passion was more important in a relationship. For me, dedication would not come until later on, once we've established wanting to be in a relationship. Until then, it's being open to something and then passion once it starts. Otherwise, there will be nothing to be dedicated to. Perhaps dedication is not the best word to use. But it is not a dedication to the person or the relationship I'm talking about. I guess I'm not explaining myself very well. Hey Ruth  ...I don't know if this is what you are talking about, but when I decided to join a dating site, I came in totally "dedicated" to the process of finding a mate....
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I guess I just think dedication is an odd word to use there. On another site, there are lots of questions to answer. One was asking if dedication or passion was more important in a relationship. For me, dedication would not come until later on, once we've established wanting to be in a relationship. Until then, it's being open to something and then passion once it starts. Otherwise, there will be nothing to be dedicated to. Perhaps dedication is not the best word to use. But it is not a dedication to the person or the relationship I'm talking about. I guess I'm not explaining myself very well. I do understand what you're saying. For me, dedication isn't the right word, because I'm not just searching for someone. |
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Hey Ruth ...I don't know if this is what you are talking about, but when I decided to join a dating site, I came in totally "dedicated" to the process of finding a mate....
Hey Leigh.
That is exactly what I mean. Thanks for helping me say it better. When I first came to this site I thought I wanted someone but I soon realized I was not truly dedicated to finding a real relationship and I should stop acting as though I was until I truly was. So I took a whole year off and did some serious soul searching. When I came back late last year, I was truly dedicated to finding the right person for me. It didn't happen right away. It rarely does. But I kept myself open in spite of the bumps in the road. |
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Hey Ruth ...I don't know if this is what you are talking about, but when I decided to join a dating site, I came in totally "dedicated" to the process of finding a mate....
Hey Leigh.
That is exactly what I mean. Thanks for helping me say it better. When I first came to this site I thought I wanted someone but I soon realized I was not truly dedicated to finding a real relationship and I should stop acting as though I was until I truly was. So I took a whole year off and did some serious soul searching. When I came back late last year, I was truly dedicated to finding the right person for me. It didn't happen right away. It rarely does. But I kept myself open in spite of the bumps in the road. Exactly!!....It would be unrealistic to expect love to happen immediately or upon the first attempt...What is important, what is necessary, is to remain open or "dedicated" to finding true love...
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I believe these to be facts: 1) There are more men than women on this site. 2) What Leigh said. 3) You are a total stranger, until proven otherwise. 4) Women sense when they are just 'one of many.' 5) The forums allow people to get to know you enough to want to communicate with you. 6) Women are sorely turned off by negativism. 7) Mingle2 is only a tool, administered by you. 8) You, are the bottom line. yeah i agree with all of those,i just do what i can and i give everything i do 250%+ but i was always that way ...im well known for being that guy by my friends so i guess thats me in a short story ...my biggest challenge i think is staying positive all the time but i try to do my best i just don't want to be defined by it cause i believe it doesn't reflect the real me,kinda of a by product, i guess some people might consider me hard to get to know,but i don't know im just me and when im online im going to be the same me that she will get to see offline-john doesn't front nothing;) btw i still think your sexy;) |
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Oh no, I don't have any stories at all but know how I'd react to an ultimatum. I tell guys on the job site that try and pull that stuff, I'd rather see them happy in the unemployment line than miserable on the job. cant very well say 'love me dammit!' just doesnt work. lol laughing no it doesn't work that way but im going to offer my best like with anything else i do cause then no one can fight that so no one can throw me any dirt for not trying at least and she will either want me or she wont but either here im still offering my best ;) |
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What do you want to see that they're dedicated to? Before you actually get to know someone, you're not going to see dedication toward you. I think he means dedication to the process. The ability to go into something with a free and open heart. Doesn't meant the relationship will work out....just means you are open to the possibilities. I can be open to the possibility of meeting someone new, but I'm not dedicated to it. If it happens, it happens. and........if it doesn't, it doesn't? um well i am way outta the city so im really limited and john doesn't do bars...heck, im not even a loud person or that outgoing BUT i still have to represent myself to my full accuracy because if i do not then im playing someone's role and masquerading as someone else and i have to put in my part or else i also need to ask myself that very same question "what am i doing'? so,i mean thats on us So you are a member here, you have a profile complete with pictures and some personal info, you participate in forums, that means you've done all you need to do to find love?.. I am not about to tell you how you feel or why you're here cause you are the ONLY one who knows, but if someone was taking bets and I was a betting woman, I would have to put my money on this horse... "You are not interested in finding love, MIngle is just a way to pass the time, a social venue, cheap intertainment"....
I've actually taken most of my profile out. Mingle is a way to pass the time.
If I meet someone, awesome. This is certainly not the only way to meet people, though. |
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I guess I just think dedication is an odd word to use there. On another site, there are lots of questions to answer. One was asking if dedication or passion was more important in a relationship. For me, dedication would not come until later on, once we've established wanting to be in a relationship. Until then, it's being open to something and then passion once it starts. Otherwise, there will be nothing to be dedicated to. Perhaps dedication is not the best word to use. But it is not a dedication to the person or the relationship I'm talking about. I guess I'm not explaining myself very well. I do understand what you're saying. For me, dedication isn't the right word, because I'm not just searching for someone. well thats what i mean if someone isn't searching for someone then they oughtta post it in their profile...just don't mislead us guys on and lie about why your here...im not perfect or claiming i want someone perfect but honesty 4 me at least goes much farther than just words and pictures used to tell your story when your lying about it....im saying that that person doing so isn't right for complaining about something they themselves are footing |
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Edited by
733john
on
Wed 02/29/12 02:52 PM
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Im starting to question the reason why some of you women are here? So,any woman between 25 - 45 looking to meet a guy? Yes,i read your profiles but i think you just wana play games when it's been weeks since i last chatted with you....ladies again im being as about as polite as i can be i need more to work from than your picture and profile....if your not honestly ready to at least hook up for fun you need to delete me off your list...last time im saying this start showing me some dedication if you want love instead of bitching about us guys wanting sex all the time ...you need to show us your dedicated...in return for that i will let you in my life and be yours to keep and you will get my heart....im going to start dismissing what i read eventually and my interest will go just to sex ...thats not what you want, playing around is not what i want I get you John!...What I hear is this....You are here to find someone, you are ready, you joined for THAT reason.....But it's not happening because you can't "keep" a connection going in email....I know exactly what you are talking about because I have been down that road...When you ask for advice, you always hear "join in the forums, join in the forums!" " It's the best way to get to know someone, it's a good way to kill time while you wait for someone to come along."....All this is TRUE, but it doesn't apply to everyone...some peeps don't want to participate on the boards, it's just not their thing....So, how do you keep the email thing going long enough to take the next step?....You have to be able to hold another persons interest, you have to be able to stimulate their intellect, make them laugh, give them reasons to want to continue "typing"...Give them enough assurance to feel safe in trading phone numbers and private addy's with you....It's a two way street babe...Are you doing your part?..... absolutely im doing my part,maybe i just need to be more careful about WHO i chat with and i guess i oughta ask questions about why they are here...you know,im not really down on this bullying ******** if any of you were/are doing any of it ...that kinda crap will get someone kicked to the curb so fast by me and if thats the kind of guy some of these women are after IM TELLING YA'S RIGHT HERE AND NOW WHILE I SEEM TO HAVE DRAWN THIS AUDIENCE ...john isn't down with that and that imo isnt GOOD...FIND YOU ANOTHER MAN TO CHAT WITH CAUSE I DOnt RUN THAT WAY thank you |
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What do you want to see that they're dedicated to? Before you actually get to know someone, you're not going to see dedication toward you. I think he means dedication to the process. The ability to go into something with a free and open heart. Doesn't meant the relationship will work out....just means you are open to the possibilities. I can be open to the possibility of meeting someone new, but I'm not dedicated to it. If it happens, it happens. and........if it doesn't, it doesn't? um well i am way outta the city so im really limited and john doesn't do bars...heck, im not even a loud person or that outgoing BUT i still have to represent myself to my full accuracy because if i do not then im playing someone's role and masquerading as someone else and i have to put in my part or else i also need to ask myself that very same question "what am i doing'? so,i mean thats on us So you are a member here, you have a profile complete with pictures and some personal info, you participate in forums, that means you've done all you need to do to find love?.. I am not about to tell you how you feel or why you're here cause you are the ONLY one who knows, but if someone was taking bets and I was a betting woman, I would have to put my money on this horse... "You are not interested in finding love, MIngle is just a way to pass the time, a social venue, cheap intertainment"....
I've actually taken most of my profile out. Mingle is a way to pass the time.
If I meet someone, awesome. This is certainly not the only way to meet people, though. |
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In my case, although at times, I may not be actively looking for someone, that doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t pursue a possible match based on his profile and/or email exchanges. By stating that I’m not looking closes the door completely when in actual fact, it is half open.
I go through phases where I’m actively looking...think I’ve met someone, it doesn’t work out and I need ‘getting over’ time. I’m not going to change my profile if I’m only taking a breather nor (if I’m honest), will I discourage someone if he contacts/emails me during that time. You may call this game playing, I call it leaving my options open. I know this is slightly different than what you’re saying but it is kinda similar in a way. |
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What do you want to see that they're dedicated to? Before you actually get to know someone, you're not going to see dedication toward you. I think he means dedication to the process. The ability to go into something with a free and open heart. Doesn't meant the relationship will work out....just means you are open to the possibilities. I can be open to the possibility of meeting someone new, but I'm not dedicated to it. If it happens, it happens. and........if it doesn't, it doesn't? So you are a member here, you have a profile complete with pictures and some personal info, you participate in forums, that means you've done all you need to do to find love?.. I am not about to tell you how you feel or why you're here cause you are the ONLY one who knows, but if someone was taking bets and I was a betting woman, I would have to put my money on this horse... "You are not interested in finding love, MIngle is just a way to pass the time, a social venue, cheap intertainment"....
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In my case, although at times, I may not be actively looking for someone, that doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t pursue a possible match based on his profile and/or email exchanges. By stating that I’m not looking closes the door completely when in actual fact, it is half open. I go through phases where I’m actively looking...think I’ve met someone, it doesn’t work out and I need ‘getting over’ time. I’m not going to change my profile if I’m only taking a breather nor (if I’m honest), will I discourage someone if he contacts/emails me during that time. You may call this game playing, I call it leaving my options open. I know this is slightly different than what you’re saying but it is kinda similar in a way. very glad you brought that up ;)thank you um what im saying by game playing is actually game playing...thats where a women falsely pretends she is interested when she isn't ...im goona clear up this huge at least imo misconception that that is harmless...it is not!!!! in fact it causes way more harm imo than any good at all and that good is faked ...on the other hand it can have the opposite effect on someone as well ..i guess that depends on the person but since i like honesty and value it ..then 4 me no,id rather not have that to happen to me;) thanks i needed to get that across seems like i left holes all over the place than when presented would explain me much better and fill in all these blank pages i find very important about my self for a date to know about me ..thanks again;) |
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In my case, although at times, I may not be actively looking for someone, that doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t pursue a possible match based on his profile and/or email exchanges. By stating that I’m not looking closes the door completely when in actual fact, it is half open. I go through phases where I’m actively looking...think I’ve met someone, it doesn’t work out and I need ‘getting over’ time. I’m not going to change my profile if I’m only taking a breather nor (if I’m honest), will I discourage someone if he contacts/emails me during that time. You may call this game playing, I call it leaving my options open. I know this is slightly different than what you’re saying but it is kinda similar in a way. I understand where you are coming from. But I don't believe anyone will just come along who is right for you until you open that door up all the way. I have seen a lot of folks online who don't really want a relationship but they are hoping some amazing magical person will come along and sweep them of their feet and away from all their past relationship problems. So, they kind of put out the message that they are looking. But, that magical person never comes along because there is no such person. Only real people with real flaws come along. It won't be until you open up completely and decide you're going to put in all the effort it takes to have a real relationship that he/she will come along. But most will not put in that effort. They will continue to wait to be rescued. |
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well thats me in a few posts ladies
now i hope you'll see im not going to blow you bunch smoke n mirrors...thats only a little bit though the book of john is very thick ...you like long meaningful messages right? i hope so,most importantly i want you to understand that not all guys are the same do with what i spilled what you will just don't be bad mouthing or sticking me in the same boat or trying to paint me up a loser or dump any baggage on top of me and be like well im a guy and so i deserved that...thats all i gotta say 4 now |
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In my case, although at times, I may not be actively looking for someone, that doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t pursue a possible match based on his profile and/or email exchanges. By stating that I’m not looking closes the door completely when in actual fact, it is half open. I go through phases where I’m actively looking...think I’ve met someone, it doesn’t work out and I need ‘getting over’ time. I’m not going to change my profile if I’m only taking a breather nor (if I’m honest), will I discourage someone if he contacts/emails me during that time. You may call this game playing, I call it leaving my options open. I know this is slightly different than what you’re saying but it is kinda similar in a way. I understand where you are coming from. But I don't believe anyone will just come along who is right for you until you open that door up all the way. I have seen a lot of folks online who don't really want a relationship but they are hoping some amazing magical person will come along and sweep them of their feet and away from all their past relationship problems. So, they kind of put out the message that they are looking. But, that magical person never comes along because there is no such person. Only real people with real flaws come along. It won't be until you open up completely and decide you're going to put in all the effort it takes to have a real relationship that he/she will come along. But most will not put in that effort. They will continue to wait to be rescued. Think you misunderstood ma honey or I didn’t make myself clear...what I was attempting to say is that when I'm actively looking, my door is completely open but like most single people, I get demoralised or get chatting to someone etc and I take a break for a little while to recharge my batteries so to speak before starting again.
Also, as you (probably know), it's emotionally and mentally draining to be looking for a mate all the time. Oh, I’m under absolutely no illusions about a mythical knight sweeping me off me feet. I’m a firm believer in making my own destiny
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What would be easier is to have a site that is for the people out there that are just looking to have sex and stay off the site where people want to really find someone... Just saying I know it won't happen but it would be nice
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