And I am talking about love here.... NOT desire to possess or the need to be loved in return.

Love is very often a "mutual admiration society."

You will be drawn to love someone who likes you or loves you because it makes you feel good to be loved by someone.

People get high on being loved because it makes them feel good ABOUT THEM SELF.

People use the word "love" too freely.

I'll always love my mother/granny/sisters/dear friends.

But for the sake of the intended use of the word in this instance... love isn't unlimited. Your love may be for a short while, but if said love isn't returned, I'm almost definite you'd bail.

No what I am calling "free love" is divine. It is like how you might say that God loves us. It is unconditional.

Yes it is "natural" to want to be loved back, it makes us feel good. But if being loved back is expected, then you are not giving your love unconditionally. In fact you are not loving at all. You are just fishing to be loved back.

Which is why I differentiated between a "want" and a "need" to be loved back.

I believe that God wants us to love Him, but He loves us regardless of how we feel.

Bail from what?

Just because I love someone for who they are, and care about them does not mean I have to marry them or live with them or even like them.

The word love is only used too freely when it is not sincere. Love must be felt.

Love itself is unlimited. Only you can stifle it from your heart. If you hide from love and guard your heart and refuse to love, then within you, love is scarce.

It is like water, if you let if flow through you, there is an unlimited supply. If you stop the flow, then you cut off the flow of love in your life.

I'm not a very spiritual person, and yeah... I judge people based upon their actions.

If more folks did what you say, then the World would definitely be a better place. But again, seems quite the daunting task.

- Just a glimpse of reason as to why some people are so reluctant to say, "I love you."

I never throw that word around so freely. Then again, words are only meaningful in the context they are said in. I'm sure none of us would agree we throw around the meaning of the word just to SAY the word. That's ludicrous brotha.

When you feel the love, then is when you should say it!

And damn the consequences.

Just be sincere and don't say it because you want to hear it.

And if you don't want to always say it because it is over used, then do something for the one you love that expresses your love.

Update: I've officially given up. I tried. Now my head hurts, where's the Whiskey???

Amen, sista!

I had that opportunity in the last 6 months, and the words just came out -the other person wasn't ready to hear them, but it didn't matter because that is what I was feeling and I wanted to let them know someone else in the world loved them.

As I grow older, the more I wish to share the love, not keep it too myself. Life is too short to keep love hidden.

I did so once - not to the degree that you are suggesting, I simply suggested to someone who messaged me almost daily for months that it might be nice get to each other better-but it was a disaster

the ageism on this site is as bad as I have seen anywhere when it comes to women who are older (and not just from guys who are younger)- we are viewed as candidates for sex but not relationships...guys from here who are currently WITH someone on here, have messaged me for sex (unsuccessfully) more than once - but never for relationship interest. it is not only ageist, it is annoying and exploitative -

at least that has been my expereince -

so no, you will see no confessions forthcoming from me any time soon

at your age you will prolly have more luck with your "confession"

sorry for the rant but that has been my experience in here

Nope, I haven't for fear of losing a good friend. Guess I am not grown up.

I've done it once. Long story short, I didn't get the response that I AND everyone else thought id get. Things were never the same after that and I lost a very good friend. I won't do it again..

Live and learn. Never again.

I don't get it. What is it that you expected that you did not get? If you expressed how you felt and you were sincere about it what is the problem?

Audrey is a friend and she's hurting right now. Maybe you really have your life as together as you would like us to believe, but Audrey is less than half your age, so give her a break and let her grieve.

That's nice that she's your friend Spider. I don't really know what she is hurting about. One minute she was feeling "liberated" and the next minute she is "giving up" and saying that her head hurts, so I don't really understand the problem.

**

(As for me "having my life together" I don't know about that. I'm certainly working on that, but I'm 63 years old and its a little late for that.... )

there is no such thing as love of any kind with detachment

interpersonal detachment is actually a symptom of possible mental illness or personality disorder and/or cause to be referred for treatment or evaluation for treatment

emotional interpersonal detachment is a commonality shared by violent offenders and sex offenders

exactly

not in real life anyway