So first of all, let me explain my situation. I was married to a man for four years, the first two years were amazing until we had a baby. He became controlling, mentally and physically abusive, and we ended things recently. He did not relinquish the apartment, any of the bank accounts or funds to me, so I was homeless and broke. I went to my mother's for a while but she was anything but supportive. I found someone to take me and my son in, and I moved in a month or so ago.

Now I know I have problems, and I'm a little depressed but I am getting therapy for that. I don't even really bring it up around my hosts unless I have to.

Recently, their daughter (my friend) admitted to them that she felt like I was taking over her place in the family, and pretty much jealousy. She's been making snide remarks here and there, but she hasn't been that bad. I understand where she's coming from.

But last night they lied to me. To my face.

I'm starting to feel neglected and like I've outstayed my welcome. I've spoken with them about everything and they really want to help me, but they've said it's very stressful for them and that they felt like it was no longer their house, but mine.

I only moved in because I had absolutely no where else to go.

I am not taking over your house.

You hide in your rooms all day.

You exclude me from family events, after claiming I am apart of your family.


I just really don't know what to do anymore..

At this point, if I am forced to leave... I will most likely ask my husband to take our son from me.. even though I don't want that happening...

I can't even support myself.. My husband forced me not to work or go to school those four years.

I'm really feeling worse..and worse... like I'm nothing but a burden..

I need help.. and I'm tired of being pushed away.. I can't stand on my own yet but I wish people would be a lot more supportive rather than selfish...

I understand they want their normal lives back, but they could have said no.

This hurts me so much, on top of my recent divorce.

Okay, right now you need to call a local
Women's Shelter.
They will take you and your son in.
They will help feed and clothe you and
your son.
They will help you find work.
They will find you an apartment.

This is what they do.

I would have to go with Soufie on this one...

But then again there is some information that you do not give. Like how long have you been staying with these people? Do you have a Job? If not have you even looked for one? Have you checked in on Welfare in order to be able to help with food while your staying with others.

People don't mind helping within reason. That is if the ones they are helping is actually trying to better themselves and doing all they can do. In order to get out of the situation they are in.

I let my ex daughter in-law move in with me with my grand daughter. It was only till she got on her feet. She stayed with me for about 4 months she worked everyday. If she had been blowing her money then yeah it would have caused a problem. But she did help with food in the house and gave me so much money every other week to help off set the utility bills.

Most the time if one is pulling their weight and they know they will be moving out soon the stress is not so great. But if you let someone live with you and they are not working or helping with the off set of grocerys or utilitys then it becomes a probelem in the long run.

Most expect if they share their home with someone to help them out then it is only temporary. Some tend to take advantage of that. Not saying you are for there is not enough to go on here to really know the full situation.

But as Soufie stated there are programs to help those in your situation. Even those programs expect one to help themselves in the long run in order to get on their feet.

I have looked for a job, but there's the issue of who'd watch my son. My hosts work all day, so they'd only be willing to watch him at night. I went to my local office of DSS, and I qualify for medicaid, food stamps, and temporary assistance, so I am getting those. I agreed that I'd buy the groceries, clean after myself and my son, help out with chores, and whatnot, so it's not like I'm free loading.

It's more of like they're having trouble handling my son in the house, and having to support / tolerate a baby. Financially, they're ok with supporting with us, that's really not a problem, but its' more of emotional and mental trouble handling everything, I guess.

some people have a bigger heart than a brain. it's great when people WANT to help, but some people don't know HOW to help. opening your home to friends, family, or even a stranger is not for everyone

you have been given AWESOME advice from soufie. right now you need professional help. a shelter has everything you need, plus you can keep your son. once the shelter has given you all the tools you need to care for yourself and your son, then it's up to you to maintain what you have learned from professionals

you and your son are not a burden so get that out of your head. i guarantee i guarantee that you can survive and you will even thrive in a new life with your son, IF you get professional help and counselling (bulldog double guarantee - patent pending)

good luck girl, and stick around on the forums. some really good people here

I really don't want to go to a shelter. I won't know anyone there, and to be quite honest I don't feel like sharing my life story. I don't even know if they will accept me since my hosts still want me to stay. It's just random moments when I feel like that they might want me out, but that might be because of other reasons on my part.

Reading this stuff is causing me to have a problem with my eyes. Water keeps leaking out of them.

I cried half way through writing that to be very honest..

settle the custody issue..if u have half then that would make things a little easier or if u get full custody get his *** for child support asap..i know where ur comming from not from a mothers point of view but the childs. its hard and very scary but u can get through it. if u go back ull just drag all this out longer than it has to be. i hope this hellped a little. be strong ill keep u in my preyers and remember its always darkest before dawn

I don't want it to get any worse than it already has, haha, but you are right. I'm looking forward to when things finally start looking better.

the worst thing u can do is to not face it because of fear. but its all up to you. whats to fear anyway?

I'm sorry, but who ever wants to be in a shelter? It seems like you have no other choice, but to accept help from others who are willing to help you get back on your feet. For your children's sake, put your own desires aside and please make the right decision. It's a difficult situation to get out of, you don't need to make it anymore difficult.

I wish you and more importantly, your children the best. Do what you know is best, get the help you need, and make a better life for you and your children.

I know how hard it can be to open up old wounds to strangers. People that might judge you for your choices. But if I can say one thing to you is that take every offer for help you can get. At this time in your life you are worrying about your child, grieving the loss of your marriage and trying to figure out who you are again. The folks at a womans shelter can help you with some of these things. I am rather sure you do not have to live there to get help. They are happy to help you find work, find day care for your son once you do get work and just general emotional support when you need it most.

We actually sat down and spoke about it. Bottom line is they're having trouble adjusting to having a toddler around, but they said they are trying and do not want me to go to a shelter. My friend's mother broke down crying, and confessed that she considered me as a daughter to her. Um there was a lot crying, hugging, and guidelines being made which I happily consented to. They agreed to continue helping me out if I get a job and pay a low monthly rent which is more than acceptable.

If it had gone down the other road, I am not stupid nor selfish. I would have sucked up my pride and preferences and went to a shelter if I needed to. I'm not inconsiderate like some of the young mom's these days are, and I take pride in that.

I didn't pressure my hosts into letting me stay either, I simply asked what they would like to do since it is their money, their house, and their food that they are sharing with me.

I'm glad to hear that. It sounds like things are getting better for you. I hope you are able to get back on your feet soon.

I know many friends and family who have been through similar situations, some have made it, some have not. The most important thing to do is keep moving forward. You may come to a place from time to time where you may want to get back with your ex and try to make things work. DO NOT go back. Things always get worse when you go back.